December 10 will be the fortieth anniversary of the death of the closest thing I’ve got to a famous best friend, my brother Thomas Merton. His influence on my life is very substantial indeed. You can always pick someone and become a fan, but Merton really has been more of a guide to all of life, and especially to the interior life that goes so unnoticed and unheeded by most of us.
My experience with Merton was incredibly positive, and in retrospect it’s hard not to be bitter at the experiences of Roman Catholicism that have changed my perception of Merton. Some of those changes were truthful and necessary, but they ended a feeling and an experience I didn’t want to lose. Such is life and growth, I suppose.
I wrote this piece in November 2007, not as a tribute to Merton, but as a bit of a lament over my recent experiences with Roman Catholicism as compared to the experience I’d had with Merton. Things were a little raw at the time, and as Denise has progressed in her journey toward Rome, I’ve become more at peace about much of this. The apologists in the IM comments have faded. I think you’ll figure it out rather easily. I miss Merton even though I never knew him, and I value every person in my life who embodies his earthiness, curiosity, generosity and inclusive catholicity.
Not everything has changed. I understand Catholicism better thanks to many friends. I still resent the apologists when my conversion is the goal. I still want that idyllic view of monastic spirituality, even as I know it was an illusion even for Fr. Louis.
Read: Where Have You Gone, Thomas Merton?
The Internet Monk Archives 
Opps that is Charismatic, must of been lost in the spirit when I was typing(smile)
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I love the early Merton too, the latter one embraced too much eastern religion for my liking.
I was raised Catholic but find the church has changed and embraced things that they should not have. I am a married charisamtic anglican priest and monk. The only way I would return to Rome is if I could have an Abbey and church like those in Stubenville Ohio, I envision a Roman Catholic church smells and bells with freedom to worship in the Spirit! Blessings, Father Mike Olsen O.S.C Pine Abbey/ Iona Community Church Louisville Kentucky
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Michael,
I think you’d find quite a home in Orthodoxy. As opposed to the Western versions of “christianity” the Orthodox are very respectful of other positions, and don’t push their views on others.
/end joke.
🙂
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Interesting… did a retreat in a Benedictine Monastery – they do the long version of the Liturgy of the Hours – great stuff but I actually needed someone to keep pointing to which section we were on – mostly psalms but boy did they jump around – and they sang them all accapella too…
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Memphis,
Here’s a link to an Anglican Benedictine website, and here’s one to a Lutheran Monastery in Michigan.
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Excellent point, Radagast. I agree. It’s one of my greatest griefs as an Evangelical.
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But there is no doubt that my experience of the internet is not populated with Merton/Nouwen Catholics. The evangelical internet is the favorite battle zone for a breed of Catholic apologist who relishes the opportunity to defend Roman Catholicism, attack Protestantism’s weak points and evangelize Protestants openly and aggressively.
I think I’ve said it before here: There is just something about the internet in general and blogs in particular that brings out the worst in people. Or maybe it just brings out the worst people. I think that’s what alot of it is. Not to minimize your “lament” at all. That’s just my two cents.
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One other comment – a bit off topic.
“I still resent the apologists when my conversion is the goal.”
I get this a lot only in the other direction. Sometimes I just like to talk about scripture. And I have several aquaintances including Catholic layfolk, two Lutheran ministers, an Anglican priest and A United Church of Christ pastor I do this with on a semi-frequent basis. (WARNING – Generalization comment to follow). But when I engage my fellow Baptist, non denom, or pentacostal brother/sister – things always have to turn to what is wrong with Catholic theology -and anger or at least agitation on their part follows. Mind you this is not an apoligetic discussion or even a discussion on parts of scriture that we may differ on. This is – “oh your Catholic – Why do you worship idols…” or some other shlock. Makes me sad – just like to discuss scripture with some other spiritual soul steeped in scripture as well.
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Merton has been my teacher – the most significant spiritual influence of my life thus far. I’ve said this many times. It’s true and maybe a little sad – because that means I’ve been spiritually directed by a dead man more than by any living person. I couldn’t think of a better one though. I’ve always said I feel like by reading him, I’m also digging into the whole ocean of who and what he read. He is/was a treasure.
I have not become disillusioned about him. Well, maybe if I ever had illusions about him, I don’t have them now, if that’s what you mean. He was quite a fallible human being – you know, like all of us. He was very romantic about his faith in the early years, and as he grew, he evolved, and in a good way I think. We should all grow in such a way.
And there sort of are Protestant monks, and nuns, if you want to call Anglicans, Protestants. They may not like the term themselves, some of them, but for the sake of the question, yes, there are Anglican monasteries and convents. There is also a more recent crop of “new monastics” who are often connected with the emerging church phenomenon. That label is fading, but this new way of being a monastically oriented Christian “in the world” is growing I think. It grows in urban areas. It grows as a vision for a new kind of monastic community in rural areas. It even grows in the suburbs. Now, all these people aren’t Protestant, some are Catholic as well. I’d be one of them. Good stuff, I say – keep growing. Thomas Merton, pray for us.
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There was one Protestant monk, his name was Martin Luther.
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funny!
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Memphis Aggie, There are no protestant monks because when a protestant man is moved by The Spirit to serve the Lord he will be placed on a committee or board by his pastor. Even though the only board I found in the bible was being used by Paul for a flotation device, this is what bible churches do. On that committee will be parents of eligible women who are afraid their daughter will become unequally yoked, and who will then dedicate their lives to matchmaking, assuming the pastor’s daughter is married.
Also to serve in small protestant church, the pastor must be married, as the congregation expects two workers while paying one. Pastors whose wives play piano have a great advantage.
This could be why most monks stay cloistered, to avoid committees, boards, and single piano players.
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Are there any Protestant monks? If not why not?
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Suffice to say that it was a chance discovery of Merton’s SSM and the Rule of St. Benedict that started off an intellectual and spiritual journey to understand my Roman Catholic brothers and sisters in Christ better rather than to lob grenades from inside my former trench as a staunch evangelical who bordered on fundamentalist for a time (about a third of the 24 years I’ve been on this planet).
He’s meant a lot to me as I’ve discovered (and continue to discover) over the last 3 years a lay monastic impulse that has kept me and my relationship with Christ sane in the midst of intra-church struggles and my own personal battle with depression.
I suspect that I, like yourself, will be giving thanks to God for the life and work of Fr. Louis here on this earth come December 10. And as for your comments on the young Merton vs the old Merton, I have to laugh because there’s definitely a hint of truth to it!
Pax
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I have not read Merton but from your experience it sounds like something that I def should make time for.
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Someone needs to produce an annotated, indexed edition of SSM.
I’d suggest that Merton was delighted that so many of his college buds also became Catholic. Early on, he enjoyed his Catholic ghetto.
The only evangelization encouragement I hear is towards the unchurched and inactive Catholics. If these have joined another church, I leave them alone. But if someone is actively evangelizing a practicing Catholic, I’ll counter because I respect the Catholic imagination too much.
Most who become Catholic will tell you they had to practically beg a priest to take them on as a catechumen, not because the men are too busy, mind you. But it’s gotta be of God and, if it’s of God, it’ll wait, it’ll keep, there’s no rush, it’ll happen … just like Merton’s ordination, etc.
Unfortunately, evangelistic restraint can be misconstrued as smugness. For every one who says, “Leave me alone,” there’s another who says, “Why didn’t you tell me?!”
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Why do people watch EWTN? I honestly don’t get it.
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You’re probably reading him before the “Walnut Street Epiphany.”
The early Merton could be a bit of a jerk about being a monk.
The later Merton was a bit of a jerk to other monks. 🙂
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I to am a huge Merton fan. found out about him this past summer. my only real beef with him his how in some of his writing he seems to look down on the disciplinary practices of anyone not a monk. In one he just continues to be little the comprehension of the reader if the reader is not a monk…. but aside from that… i love the guy
thanks for the reminder im’ going to go read some from the Mountain
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Well….at this point I’m the only one on the house who has read any Vatican II document 🙂
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Michael,
As one who moved to another chapel in the Church, I understand your feelings. I had a Protestant friend who described converting to Catholicism as similar to crawling through a small hole only to discover you were in a spacious area. (He compared the process to creating a ship in the bottle.) He’s still Protestant, but I think he’s on to something. So often in the past ten years, I have been tempted to return to Catholicism – I love so much of it – even some of the things that are probably a turn-off for you. Then I switch to EWTN and listen to some of their “stars” and I run screaming from the room. I admire Fr. Groeschel – he is a wise Catholic and even when I disagree with him, I must ask myself to examine what causes me to disagree. I dislike intensely the Catholicism that gives the “church triumphant” an extraordinarily bad name. I find profoundly “unCatholic” the uncritical, almost slavish, papalism and the kind of pompous arrogance that one encounters from some in the EWTN stable. I suppose that someday, I may make my way back – I will sit in the back of the Church at Mass, forgo Communion because I will not acknowledge that the doctrine of Papal Infallibility has the same significance as the atoning death of Christ, nor acknowledge that belief the doctrines of the Assumption and the Immaculate Conception is necessary for salvation (though I confess I have no difficulty with the doctrines at all – but they are not necessary for salvation.) I have many dear Catholic friends, devoted to God and Jesus, devoted to the Church, who are very much like Merton and Nouwen and Dorothy Day, deeply rooted in their faith, who bear little resemblance to the kind of Catholics so beloved by EWTN. I pray that your lovely wife will find that Catholicism and cling to its richness of faith and the incredible treasures it contains in its sacraments and even devotional life, and not fall prey to the shlock Catholicism that is just as stomach-turning as too many of the televangelists that flood our media outlets.
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I am also a Merton fan, though probably not as well read as you. I remember a time shortly after I had been introduced to the Catholic mystics (working through The Ascent by St. John of the Cross at the time) I began reading Seven-Storey Mountain – I couldn’t believe how ordinary and human this guy was and I was really absorbed. I finished the book while on retreat at a Benedictine nun house (full blown Liturgy of the Hours sung morning-noon-night) and the whole experience was one I will never forget.
I am sorry you’ve had some bad experiences with Catholic apologetics. I would hope you take away the good, the deepness of spirituality, etc. from our faith tradition. I would rather folks would see us through our actions of love rather than a war of words and scripture verses which usually proves to be futile anyway.
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Merton had a tremendous influence on my life too. Started when I found an old (and I mean probably first edition) Seven-Storey Mountain in a small Canadian book store. In it were scattered random old leaves, pressed between the pages by God knows whom. I count it as one of my most prized possessions.
I became disillusioned too after having visited Gethsemani, I realized that the monastic vocation I had entertained was not to be. Still like you I cling to the ideal & I pray that we both can retain the joy we received as a gift from our mutual friend.
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