IM First Officer Michael Bell follows up his look at the Pew Forum Data on Changes in Religious Affiliation.
In my previous post at Internet Monk, I looked at two surveys conducted by The Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life: Faith in Flux: Changes in Religious Affiliation in the U.S. that was released a few weeks ago, and which was a followup to their U.S. Religious Landscape Survey that they released last year.
By working with the numbers of the surveys I was able to come up with a chart that showed how Americans have been changing from their childhood faith to their current faith. One of the key findings was that Christian denominations are losing adherents though the back door so to speak than they are gaining new believers through the front door. If you haven’t had a chance to check it out, please check out the original post, as it will help you understand some of the ideas behind this post, as well us understand the magnitude of the changes.
Today I wanted to focus on the “when” and the “why” this hemorrhaging was occurring, but as I have been pondering the data, the “when” seemed to really stand out as being important. I was reminded of my preaching classes back in seminary, when our professor, Dr. Peter Ralph, would constantly remind us to find the “big idea” that needed to be communicated from the biblical text. I think the same holds true when looking at survey data. Here is the “big idea” that jumped out at me when going through the Flux survey data and reports:
Most religious life decisions, even among those who have been open to change, has been set by age 23.
Of those who were raised Protestant (Evangelical, Mainline, and Historical Black), and are now “unaffiliated with any religious group”, 85% left their childhood faith before the age of 24. Of those who were raised Catholic and were now unaffiliated, 79% left before the age of 24. The same holds true for those coming back the other way. Of those raised unaffiliated, but who are now affiliated with a religious group, 72% left the ranks of the unaffiliated before the age of 24.
I can’t emphasize enough how huge this is. I will state this again: Most religious life decisions, even among those who have been open to change, has been set by age 23. There is another much smaller group that will leave their Christian faith group between the ages of 24 and 35, but only 3-4% who will make the change after they turn 36.
Before I look at the implications of this, I would like us to consider some related statistics that also come from the Flux survey. Of those who were raised Protestant but are now unaffiliated, 64% attended weekly worship as a child, but only 29% attended as a teen. This too is huge. When we relate this back to our first set of numbers we can see that of those who left the faith before age 24, a large percentage had already made that decision by their teenage years. For Catholics, the decision to leave is somewhat delayed. Of those from Catholic backgrounds who become unaffiliated, 44% are still attending regularly as teens (down from 74% as children). As noted earlier, before the age of 24, most of those who will leave have already left, whether they be Catholic or Protestant.
So what does all this mean for us?
These numbers have significant implications for both discipleship and evangelism. While I have focused primarily on those leaving, it works both way. Those coming to faith make the decision when they are young as well. Let us look at the discipleship aspect first.
A friend of mine, Mitch, became a Youth Pastor of an Evangelical Presbyterian church a number of years ago. While the Church was of quite a decent size (about 300 attendance), they had no youth group, and almost no youth attending. I believe Mitch was hired as the church’s first ever Youth Pastor because the church knew that they had potentially lost one complement of youth, and were afraid of losing those who were approaching that age as well. As hard as Mitch tried, he could not get those youth who had left to come back, even though their parents will still attending the church. So instead he focused his energies on the kids in Sunday School and Junior High. By building into those kids lives, they had gone through significant discipleship well before they hit high school, and Mitch had the joy of working with them all the way through high school. Even after Mitch moved on to another church in a distant community as a senior pastor, he was invited back to participate in their weddings. It was wonderful to see those teens move into adulthood, still actively engaged in the church.
My point is that if we are not serious and intentional about engaging our young people before they hit their teens, then we may have left it too late.
After the teenage years comes young adulthood, and College and/or University have often been fingered as being culprits in the move away from the faith in young adults. Steven James Henderson in his 2003 study entitled “The Impact of Student Religion and College Affiliation on Student Religiosity” writes:
RailsbackÃs 1994 study of “born-again” Christian students… found that the vast majority of Christian students attend non-Christian colleges. As previously mentioned, of the group that attended public universities, approximately 52% either no longer called themselves “born again” or had not attended any religious services or meetings in over a year by the end of their college experience.
However it has been shown that those who do not attend College fall away from the faith in ever greater percentages than those who do attend. Regnerus and Uecker write:
The assumption that the religious involvement of young people diminishes when they attend college is of course true: 64 percent of those currently enrolled in a traditional four-year institution have curbed their attendance habits. Yet, 76 percent of those who never enrolled in college report a decline in religious service attendance.
So what do we do?
In Henderson’s more readable summary article, he points out that:
Students who attend institutions that are members of the Council for Christian College and Universities (CCCU) showed significant positive differences on almost all individual measures of religious commitment as well as an overall increase in that commitment compared to those who attended non-member institutions.
These numbers may be misleading because if I want to become and Engineer, I am going to go to a school that specializing in producing Engineers. If I want to become a Pastor, I am going to go to a school that specializes in producing Pastors. So it may be that those who enter CCCU schools are more intentional about their future Christian involvement, and as such score much higher in the surveys.
Even if the numbers are not misleading, this still gives me a bit of a problem, primarily I believe that Christians cocoon themselves far too much, and secondly, because as pointed out by George Wood, a leader in the Assemblies of God, only 15% of their students choose schools affiliated with the CCCU. His figures, based on the 2005 Church Ministries Report for the Assemblies of God show that there are:
315,000 young people between the ages of 13 and 17 in the 12,301 Assemblies of God churches in the U.S.
210,000 (two-thirds) will enter one of the 4,000 colleges or universities in America.
178,500 will enter a non-Christian college or university, while
31,500 (15 percent) will enter one of the 102 CCCU schools, including those affiliated with the Assemblies of God.
In nine years, after these 13- to 17-year-olds have been in college for four years (and if the same percentages hold true for those who don’t go to college) up to 189,000 of Assemblies of God youth ñ out of 315,000 ñ may no longer be following Christ.
So, while giving additional consideration to a Christian College may be of benefit to our students, we need to consider the large majority who are not going to go that route.
This is why I am such a large supporter of Christian Campus ministries like Navigators, InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, and what was formerly known as Campus Crusade. Church “College & Career” ministries are very important too. My wife and I were involved in three different Campus ministries while at University, and one significant Church College ministries. All four had a huge impact on our spiritual growth, as well as in establishing life long relationships with like minded Christians. I look at those I was involved with and so many of them went on to become Pastors, Missionaries, and leaders in their respective churches. It is for that reason that my wife and I give 25% of our tithe to Campus ministries, spreading it out over four campuses. Being able to contribute to the spiritual well being of University students is something I believe will have a lasting impact on both their lives and the future health of the church.
Henderson has a number of excellent suggestions for students, parents, and Pastors, for ways that students can remain strong in their faith during their college years. It is well worth reading.
I would like to add a couple of other thoughts to his list as well as tie back to some of my original comments about teens.
I realize that I am about to pick on Pastors here, but I see Pastors as the key implementer of change within churches. Pastors, how intentional are you at engaging youth and young adults in your sermons? Go over your last 10 sermons. How many of the sermon illustrations were ones that young people could really relate too? Have you ever alluded to a group like “Cold Play”? Do you have a visitation schedule? If so, have you ever included a teen or a young adult in that schedule? Have you ever taken a teen in your church out for a baseball game or even a cheese burger? When was the last time someone under the age of 18 did a Bible reading in the service? Ushered? Ran the sound board, or video system? Joined the worship team? Let a Bible Study? My son who is 14, does all kinds of complex presentations at school on all kinds of subjects that he has researched. Why doesn’t he get the same kind of opportunity at church?
My point is that many of our people have become disengaged from their faith at a very young age. It isn’t enough to tread water, but we need to become intentional at engaging them. You should note that I am not advocating that we become youth focused in our churches, but that we should at least become much more youth aware and youth inclusive. We need to engage them beyond the time spent in their Sunday School class or youth group, and make sure that they are an integral part in this bigger thing we call “church.”
My final note has to do with evangelism. As noted earlier in the post, of those raised unaffiliated, but who are now affiliated with a religious group, 72% left the ranks of the unaffiliated before the age of 24. My friend Tim immediately came to mind when I read this. When I was at University, he amazed all of us in our Christian campus group by leading his entire residence floor to Christ. One of the guys who became a Christian went on to become the President of our group three years later. Yet this is something that should not surprise us, because this is a stage of life when people are seeking, learning, and discovering so many new and amazing things about the world around them. We need to take the opportunity to introduce them to the most amazing person of all: Jesus Christ, Son of God, Savior.
As always, your thoughts and comments are welcome.
The Internet Monk Archives 
So what does all this mean for us?
It’s a lot more simple than you’re making it out to be: Adults do not share their faith with other adults like they do with youth. If they did, many more people past the age of 24 would self-indicate a change of affiliation. Whom to blame this on?
Hard to say. The most active adult evangelists were trained and discipled in our best youth ministries: CCC, IVCF, the Navs. So either all their efforts aren’t enough to blip the screen, or the methods learned are counter-productive among adults.
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Headless Unicorn Guy,
You make my post sound like one of those weightloss advertisements where I have to add the disclaimer, “Your experience may vary.”
I generally had good experiences with Campus groups and so I put them forward as a possible solution, you obviously did not. I don’t have statistics to say one way or another which or our experiences is more typical.
Probably among by best experiences were in the IVCF chapter in my first years at University, and in the summer group I started because no other groups were meeting.
That being said, my first University had 11 different groups, most of which were much more conservative that the IV group I attended.
It was in that IV group that I learned:
1. That yes, Christians could dance and have fun
2. There were many different types of Christians out there, who all seemed to have a pretty good grasp of their faith.
3. Pentecostals were not all that scary.
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My experience with VCF and the Navigators at my undergraduate school was actually very counterproductive for me, faith-wise – that VCF group there pushed a very isolated, “childish†view of Christianity which encouraged a cocoon-like, insular approach to their faith. It was hard dealing with a group that was very insular, and almost cliquish in how it dealt with “newbiesâ€. — Rampancy
When I was at Cal Poly Pomona in the late Seventies, the Navigators had the rep of being the most extreme Uber-Christians with the highest burnout and flunkout rates. J Michael Jones was in over his head with them during that period and has a lot of horror stories on his blog, Christian Monist.
Ironically, my spiritual development was greatly enhanced by my non-Christian (Atheist/Agnostic, Muslim, etc.) friends – the types of people who were supposedly the “enemyâ€. — Rampancy
Speaking of “the enemy”, I was an SF litfan and D&D gamer. You learn very quickly to compartmentalize your life and get very familiar with the concept of Friendly Fire.
I tried going to Campus Crusade but they alarmed me with their almost militaristic language in how they were going to take over the evil, immoral university for God…somehow I got the image in my mind of them charging the administrative offices with guns and the like. — Rampancy
Campus Crusade varies from campus to campus, though even the rather mellow Cal Poly Pomona chapter seemed a bit clueless and insular (though nowhere near the level of the Navigators). The Cal Poly Pomona chapter was where I first heard of the live role-playing game “Killer” (AKA The Assassination Game); it was a common game played by the staff.
In complete contrast, the CCC chapter at Cal State Fullerton (at the other end of Brea Canyon) was so tight-assed they could have been “discipled” by Fred Phelps. (I could easily see them charging the administrative offices with guns.) I played D&D on Saturdays at Cal State Fullerton (we met in the administration building), and the local CCC had us in their sights for Witchcraft (TM). We were on constant alert for CCC “sheep in wolves’ clothing” trying to infiltrate and Wretched-urgency “Save” us, including security measures such as routing newbies past this one BS artist who could put on an act of being Aliester Crowley II. (Fortunately, the campus cops were on our side after we fingered a local arsonist who was torching trash cans in the building.)
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Alvin_tsf,
By all means do so.
Just remember that I have presented more problem than solution, so others may have different ideas of what that solution may look like.
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michael bell,
thank you very much for your helpful and meaningful insights. my wife and i head our children’s ministry. we discussed your findings in part 1 of your post. i have been waiting anxiously for this part 2. your post has confirmed what we have been discerning and praying about for quite awhile. the number of kids in our ministry has grown significantly. i empathize with a lot of the commenters re the neglect most churches have for children. we have been trying to fight off the notion that sunday school is a baby-sitting ministry so that adults can better worship God. one progress we have made, i believe, is that we let the children, especially the “tweens” to join the congregational praise/worship singing. we also plan to have, at least once a month, to have a children’s worship service. our ideas re the teens having a part in the sunday service is worth considering and plan to suggest this to our sunday service committee.i think the best way is to show them that indeed they are part of the covenant community. an integral part of which Jesus Himself has mentioned specifically in the Gospel accounts.
i ask permission to distribute your post and insights to our church council for an evaluation on how we can better serve God and discuss ways to have them firm in their faith before the age of 24.
thank you very much
alvin
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I would tend to echo much of what Becky said and add to it as well. I won’t go into my spiritual background other than to say that it was not primarily Christian. When I did become more Christian than not, I had kids across a wide spectrum of ages. I would not only say that their perception of their parents and grandparents struggle with faith impacted and still impacts them, but that their struggle with their various experiences in church and with it has always impacted me and the way I perceived my faith as well. I would say it’s decidedly non-linear and non-hierarchical. There’s more of a circular and flowing effect.
If that makes sense.
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Molly, another good post from you. I am a Catholic Christian that believes in the items stated in the Nicene Creed and the Apostles Creed. Yet, when it comes to “acting” out my Christianity within politics, I find that I am not always in the flow of what I am “supposed” to think, believe, vote on if I am REALLY a Catholic. So, what am I…an 80% Catholic? Oh well, I just try to do my best.
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Michael,
I have found this series of posts quite interesting. Do you have any statistics which breakdown the percentages of those leaving the church by individual denominations? I am curious if there is a trend between those denominations which focus on more traditional teaching with youth such as catechisms, (LCMS, PCA etc) and those which focus on hyped up youth rallies, music, true love waits, and the latest trend going around.
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I think a big part of the problem is that the Christianity many of these kids have been exposed to is an either/or proposition. Either you accept Christianity “our” way, or you have to leave it all together.
Examples: God created the world in 7 literal days, and if you don’t believe it that way, you aren’t a true Christian. God wants men to be in charge of women, and if you don’t believe it that way, you aren’t a true Christian. Etc, etc, etc…
Instead of thinking in terms of both/and, we present our precious truths in an either/or frame, and so when the kids become young adults and begin thinking for themselves, they soon realize they are backed into a corner by the teachings they’ve grown up with.
For example, there’s no room to wonder if a person is born gay or chooses it—they’ve already been told what and how to think about that issue, and they know that if they think the “wrong” thing, they aren’t a true Christian. In fact, if they choose to be a true Christian, they’re not allowed to think about the “wrong” thing, at all, as a matter of fact.
After a while, it seems like the question isn’t whether or not to be a Christian, but rather whether or not to use one’s brain.
Because to be a Christian, they’ve learned, involves shutting the brain OFF and unquestioningly accepting the pronouncements of their particular brand of Christianity. This is not the way it should be. But this is the way it often is.
Our young people encounter a Christianity that has a lot of things tacked onto Christ. Many of them that turn away aren’t rejecting Christ—they’re rejecting the “prerequisites” we’ve tacked onto Him, the (separable) things we say are inseparable from Him.
This isn’t their problem. It’s ours.
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Thanks for the excellent article. Well researched and very thoughtful. Mr. Bell outlines, in my opinion, the number one issue facing Christianity today. The fact that he draws the line at 24 is not a surprise. That is the age when the vast majority of American;s finish their formal education.
As an unrepentant culture warrior I am deaply troubled by the state of our education system and how it is has aligned itself against Christianity. And please don’t misunderstand me I am not talking the removal of prayer in public schools or the teaching of evolution. I am against prayer in public schools and believe the teaching of evolution is appropriate.
What is going on within our education system is far more insideous. Christianity is openly mocked in schools and Christian values are denigrated as backwards, bigoted, hypocritical and opressive. Perhaps even worse, for a university, is the fact that the historical record of Christianity and the Church is distorted beyond recognition.
What’s more, just about everything about our culture runs counter to Christian values. Even (perhaps especially) the “traditional” American values that conservative christians hold so dear (ie. Americanism, consumerism, the American dream, etc.)
To counter this requires education – a lot of it. We need to be educating our children on the triumphs of Christianity and the failings of the Church. We need to be educating helping our children understand what is Christian and what we sometimes mistake as Christian but is really cultural baggage. We need to stop teaching our children that science and Christianity are at odds with one another and that science is a wonder gift. But we need them to understand the limitations of science and the abuses of reasons (presuppositions posing as conclusions) within science.
Bell’s numbers suggest that youth pastors and parents need to be less focused on outreach and more focused on education and equipping the children they already have. The seeker-focused youth program necessarily must become a exercise in ammusing children with christianized versions of the same stuff the culture offers them outside the Church. Why they would find the church irrelavant once they have a mind of their own should be of no surprise at all.
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http://www.deadtheologianssociety.com/index.php?p=faq&c=y
That is a link to the FAQ about the Dead Theologians Society. It’s to help teens and young adults be strong in their faith. I know there are a few groups in Maine and I find the idea intriguing. Some of what this page says is:
“Though many young people today may be unfamiliar with the movie Dead Poets Society, the name still serves us well. At Dead Theologians Society we don’t dwell on death, and are certainly not a morbid or depressing program. We do address the reality that we all will face death and it will truly be one of the most important events in our lives. Sacred Scripture in Sirach 7:36 states, “In whatever you do, remember the end of your life, and you will never sin.†As Catholic’s we’re taught not to fear death, but to fear sin and that we must live this life with a sense of responsibility and a direction that leads to Heaven. The title of our apostolate indicates to young people that we are not some “soft†program, but rather we face the tough issues in life and through the examples of the Saints, the Dead Theologians Society will inspire the youth of today to become the saints of tomorrow.”
“The DTS motto, “Mortuum Mundo – Vivum in Christo†is Latin for “Dead to the World – Alive in Christ†This is inspired by Romans 6:11 where St. Paul tells us to be dead to sin and alive in Christ Jesus. The Saints we study are alive in Christ forever. DTS members seek to always become more alive in Christ through their Catholic faith and “dead†to the negative influences of the world.”
“Chapters meet in churches, youth rooms or classrooms converted to have a “chapel or monastery-like†vibe, choir lofts for an “upper room†effect or undercroft chapels in churches. Meeting spaces must meet all required safety codes.”
“The official DTS “hoodie†or “hood†is simply a black hooded sweatshirt of the style that almost everyone wears in cool weather or has in their closet. It is NOT and never has been some type of long flowing gown with a hood that is worn over the face to conceal the identity of the wearer! There is nothing dark or sinister about it. While we make it clear that the DTS hoodie is not a religious habit, we do speak of its connection to the religious habits of the past and present. Many religious orders took their habits from the common wear of the poor or commoner of the time.”
“Parishes regularly report to us the blessed results DTS has born in the lives of their parish teens and young adults such as:
Increased Mass attendance among teen and college age population
Increased interest in vocations to religious life and/or a life of service
Increased pre-Confirmation enthusiasm and post-Confirmation attendance at Mass and youth/parish activities
Increased interest in young people participating in parish life, service and other ministries
Increased reception of the Sacraments, especially Communion and Confession
Increased faith formation and a deeper prayer life”
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My kids are right at the age where: we shall see how it all plays out. BUT, I’m convinced that one of the best gifts that I gave them was forcing them to sit through hours of vestry meetings, altar guild preps, Sunday School clean-up Saturdays. They know that church is about participation, grunt work, hour long votes about the new handicapped toilet. Being part of church is being involved in the little stuff. yes, Jesus is the POINT, but being part of community is tiresome, boring, and pastoral – on a toilet level. I also believe, and pray, that when your 13 your old has doubts about the whole thing, that you let him/her play that out, because without doubt, faith is impossible. I can tell that when he said, “i don’t know that i believe in God” and i replied, “yeah, i get how that’s a struggle for you.” that we are keeping the conversation going to allow God to speak to him in HIS time.
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I think DebD has touched on a significant larger issue, which is the issue of preparing the young for entry into the adult community. A typical young person spends most of his/her life in narrowly age-segregated groups, at school and at church. Suddenly, graduation happens, old friends scatter across the map, and that same person is now expected to fit into a peer group (adults) which includes not only their friends, but their parents’ and grandparents’ friends as well. It can be quite a culture shock for someone who isn’t prepared.
To those strongly committed to Christ, this might not be enough to drive them from church; to those with a weaker connection to their faith and church, I think it could be a factor. The objective, I think, needs to be to prepare people for the transition and help them make it. I fear that, in many cases, continued age-grouping (like college/career classes) simply delays the inevitable.
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DebB.
That was exactly the point I was trying to make. I think you just expressed it a whole lot better than I did.
Mike Bell
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One thing I’ve observed (in my own life, and others) is that young people who are given adult responsibilities in the church (teaching, or other ways of participating alongside adults) in jr high and high school are more likely to continue in the church as adults. It’s not a foolproof formula, but I’ve seen it in my life and my brothers’. I was given opportunity to learn how to teach Bible lessions and had my own Sunday school class of primary kids while in high school. My brothers were active in the youth group but not as an adult participant, and they are not active in church.
The youth group in my church was basically a glorified baby-sitting service with lots of cool activities but little challenge. I was more active with a group of Christians at my (public) high school which was truly a gift from God for me at that time of life.
As I watch other young people grow up (having none of my own) I see this pattern repeat over and over. The goal of youth work should be to equip the Christian young people to accept adult roles in the church. Anything less they will outgrow and leave.
My 2 cents.
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I think the solutions for fixing the church youth problem, which we are alluding to, are still about paint . . . when they should be about bulldozers, or about new curtains around the window, when we should be talking about tearing down the walls. I suspect, then, the next generation will be talking about a 80% attrition rate as well . . . and the saga continues.
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Just to be clear – Craddock’s speech addresses the concerns about trying to deal with the concerns Michael Bell is expressing with “church growth” ideas and approaches.
Thanks!
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Michael,
This is a great article and I affirm your concerns and focus with regard to youth and young adults. As pastors, we can always improve our communication to the youth. To the horror of my congregation, I once referred to the movie “Shoot ‘Em Up” during a sermon. But the 20 somethings thought it was a great reference. Hmmm.
iMonk alluded to the historical “2nd generation” problem, particularly in the Puritan experiment in America. It was a huge mess and was instrumental in creating the Unitarian split among Congregational churches. However, outside of New England where church attendance was virtually a legal requirement, less than 20% of the American population attended church or could be considered Christian. Many were not even baptized, in the sense that in England everyone was baptized at birth into the Anglican church. Thus, the power and hugeness of the Great Awakenings. My point here is that we have been here before. Further, in one of the books I read for my American Religious History class in seminary, the numbers suggest mainline denominations in particular have actually been collapsing for upwards of 140 years or more.
None of this is said to contradict anything you have said or to water down the concerns expressed in your article or the comments, but simply to provide some historical perspective. The faith has been here before and will be again. But God may intend it for good as in all things. I have a secret theory that Christianity actually thrives when it is the minority perspective and has to struggle to survive. The early church (pre-Constantine) bears this out, as do the experiences of churches in India and China today.
I will finish with a question that always comes up for me in these conversations: What are we trying to save when we are trying to save the American church? Fred Craddock gave a great commencement address to Princeton TS, I believe, entitled “The Last Temptation of the Church”. It is on YouTube and it is a rather astonishing word in this day and age.
Peace!
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Michael, your statistics ring totally true with my experience as a pastor, as far as being Christian or not. I would just add that being a Christian and settling into a particular church are two different issues.
We all know the church “butterflies” that flit from congregation to congregation never committing themselves. I am not talking about those. But, there is a group of people who may not settle on their “final” church destination well into their 30’s or 40’s. Are they going to be non-liturgical. Are they going to be liturgical. Will they be with the East or with the West, etc., etc. The Antiochian Orthodox have experienced a significant amount of growth from this latter group. Currently about 40% of our clergy became Orthodox as adults.
This is not the same as deliberate sheep-stealing but it does account for some of the “transfer” growth in churches.
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“assimilation”???????????? ………. Resistance is futile……….. 😉 😉
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It’s a perennial problem in all churches. I agree with MAJ Tony about the godawful cathechesis in the 70s; I swear I learned more about the doctrines of my faith between the ages of 15 to 18 from reading “The Divine Comedy” (and the footnotes about ‘what are all these weird references?’ and ‘this is the wacky stuff Catholics believe and why they believe it’) than from my Religious Doctrine classes, which were all about the social justice and had no explanation of why we did this, said that, believed the other.
For what it’s worth, all kids everywhere are going to go through a stage of “Church is boooring!” (At that age, everything is boring, remember the long-ago days of your youth, my friends?) The answer isn’t to make church fun and exciting – the responses we got were along the lines of “You don’t go to Mass to be entertained!” – but to give them a solid foundation to build on. And yes, keep dragging them to church on Sundays. The time will come that they’ll be old enough to decide for themselves that they don’t want to go, but until then, it’s establishing a habit just like exercise or doing your Maths homework 🙂
And most importantly, practice your faith in your life. If your religion consists of a couple of hours on Sunday and nothing the rest of the week, how can your children get any idea of what a Christian life is?
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Laura:
I don’t believe any of this data speaks to the inward faith experience. Only to outward changes. It’s certainly understood one can be an atheist in church or a believer outside.
ms
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It occurs to me, after sleeping on this, that this entry doesn’t explain what those non-religious families are “doing wrong” that their kids would join churches.
It also assumes that anyone who leaves is losing their faith. I left one church, but I joined another; my faith changed but it didn’t end. Not in the slightest!
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Mike Bell, please consider writing” Statistics for Church Leaders” , I am 30 years out of my research and statistics class! You would do a great job to educate those who need this vital science.
Part of my job of raising Christian kids was, unfortunately, protecting them from events and people in church.
The reason people drop out around the early twenties, the time we decide so much about our life, is possibly that happy clappy plastic sterilized church does not give youth the essential building blocks needed for an adult life of struggle and decision.
Life gets down and dirty, and our PG,PC, headset locked in a 50’s Disney setting is poor preparation for the challenges of life.
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But there are parents whose whole identity is wrapped up in church work, who are more about their church than their walk with Christ. Well possibly not at heart but they can certainly give that impression to their teens. If I had been asked to describe my mother as a teen I would have said, “She lives for her church work.†She would never have dreamed of questioning anything the pastor said. She believed that if you join a church you give your full support to that church no matter what.
When the teen equates commitment to Christ with commitment to church do not be surprised when the teen walks away. There are plenty of more entertaining forms of idolatry in this world.
If the churches want to say this is all for the parents to sort out, at least realize that many parents may also be an emotional mess. There is possibly a lot more going on beneath those forced plastic smile than they church wants to know about.
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The assimilation of kids into church is a family matter. Church’s don’t really contribute all that much. If they supercede the family’s influence, it needs to be because the family isn’t interested in Jesus. But if the family is a Christian family, they will shape the majority of that young person’s view of church and what they hear there. Not totally, but in the main.
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“If you have a church where kids can be really honest, talk about reality (rather than pretend),”
This is so important. Young people need to know they can ask the tough questions. They recognize the easy answers are often rehearsed and meaningless. Maybe there isn’t a good answer. Maybe they need even more questions. They need an environment that encourages honest discussion. Remember, Jesus encouraged questions. He usually began His parables with “What do you think?†Seems like a good place to begin with youth.
I don’t know how young people can truly evangelize unless they have felt Christ at work in their lives and seen Christ at work in other lives. If it is reduced to get saved/get out there evangelizing, you get the young person that doesn’t know what to say other than “Better stop doing that or you’re going to hell.â€
When I was a child I read all the Bible stories. I memorized many, many verses. I heard a lot about what Christians shouldn’t do. I got the message that if I was good, one day I would meet Jesus in Heaven. As I became a teen it all had less relevance to the realities of my day-to-day life.
Somehow, I didn’t understand that knowing Jesus is about a relationship right now. It’s easy to turn to a Bible passage to tell a teen what they shouldn’t do. But what about actually sharing that no matter the challenges, Christ is with us now. This is a relationship in the present tense.
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The “second generation” problem has always been there in Christianity. For a good look at it, take the Puritan experiment in America, including the events at Salem all the way down to Jonathan Edwards’ problems with his “youth group.”
It’s a constant, and I say that after working with youth since I was 18. It’s been my life, and the data Michael is sharing has been available for a long time. It’s a constant in most youth ministry circles to hear that if you don’t reach them by the end of college graduation, it’s game over with most people.
I don’t agree. I think we need to think about age group ministry, but not too much. If we meet the needs of an age group- like the school I work for for example- you don’t have to over do the programming or relevance. My kids need a place to go, a school, a fresh start, affordability, co-curriuculars- we provide these and we have students. We don’t have CCM or hip worship leaders. If we did it would make little difference. That’s mostly fizz.
What we need is a strong emphasis on the gospel of conversion, and then communities of real discipleship.
A large segment of the Christian world has a theological approach that assumes conversion. That’s a mistake. Failing to preach, love and pray toward adult conversions is a huge mistake. Failing to model and mentor evangelism Biblically and practically is a mistake. The way forward here is NOT to be undercover, but straight forward. I am completely upfront with my students, but I am low key. I’m constant in praying for conversion and constant in allowing them to ask questions, challenge me, etc. And we are constant in loving kids. Opening our homes. Coaching them. Spending tutoring time with them. Forgiving them. Teaching them practical things like vocational skills.
If we know and follow Christ, we will be evangelists. And if we aren’t jerks about it, but are practical and straightforward, we’ll have many opportunities.
It’s the Old Testament btw, that has made Christians so anxious about their children coming on line with their own faith. And it ought to be the OT that shows us the real situation. The New Covenant is primarily evangelistic. Family is important in evangelism, but it can’t become a situation of “covenant” vs “conversion,” and that’s what we have in a lot of churches, even among evangelicals.
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I feel that I am living in the middle of this kind of situation now. My lab tech is barely 20, and has family working in our production.
She was raised with some fairly strict fundamentalist Christianity, which she has rejected. So, when she brings it up, we do talk faith, and religion a bit. My desire for her is to find a way to come to know Jesus as a loving God/person/friend. But, I know enough of her history and her father’s theology to know that it will be very difficult.
To be honest, her half brother who is completely non-religious seems to be the most grounded of the family.
Prayers for both of us, Please.
Thank you.
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“Have you ever taken a teen in your church out for a baseball game or even a cheese burger?” I get your point but over here in Western Europe that would be interpreted (unfairly) as potential pedophilia, given the recent priest scandals where some did take kids out under the guise of a game or a meal. The sad truth in today’s society is that, while a pastor/priest should absolutely be investing in youth one-to-one, it has to be done with some accompaniment by another to protect the clergy from bad appearances or wrong accusations. That being said, my experience has been that pastors were only really interested in interaction with adults; child and youth workers were to handle the kids.
Chris G. has the right idea about parents, too. Most of my friends that grew up with me in church and Christian school fell away from church between 18-24, and those were the ones whose parents seemed least interested in church or were very dysfunctional outside of church. I’m not saying these parents were the strugglers, these weren’t even struggling to grow in Christ but were going to church “’cause you should.”
As the only one in my Christian school who opted for the “secular” State university, I got a lot of flack for my choice. I didn’t go to the Christian university because a) it didn’t carry my major, b) it was terribly expensive, and c) I felt it would be as insular as my Christian high school. I don’t regret my choice.
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Oh btw, I’m not a Calvinist, despite the post above…lol. GO SYNERGISM!!!
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Hello, I’m a teacher for my church’s youth group and from my experience…
Force-feeding kids the gospel doesn’t work and neither does just leaving them alone to their own “spirituality.” I think all that needs to be done is to expose the kids to the Christian Jesus; whether it be through our own individual lives, the community we live in, discipleship, or just didactically. In the end it’s their choice, and in reality many of them won’t become Christians, let alone orthodox Christians (whatever that means nowadays). That’s just how life is.
I remember in Jesus Camp when that crazy evangelical referred to Hezbollah as an example of what Christians should be doing regarding youth outreach…
“I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow.”~1 Cor 3:6
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Mike, I’m sorry if this cause an “ouch.” This is not a personal attach. I’m glad you (and the other Michael) raised the question and like I said you did a good job in the analysis.
I am deeply invested in this problem as I’ve raised 5 kids, all now in that 16 – 23 year range. Out of the five, one is seriously doubting his faith right now so this is very personal for me. The biggest obstacle that my son has are the years we forced him to be part of various (dysfunction) youth groups and churches (with good intentions).
But I’ve heard the anemic answers for a couple of decades. “Have the kids be part of the service, speak to the kids in the sermon, get a new youth leader and such.” It’s not that the answers are wrong but don’t go far enough. However, the problem is so serious and so big, that the answers have got to be serious. We need to think outside the box (to borrow from an overused cliché).
If you have a church where kids can be really honest, talk about reality (rather than pretend), who are taught deeply (like Jeremiah Lawson was describing) then it is one lucky church.
With full respect, Another Mike
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Cynthia,
I think I read elsewhere that you are attending a Nazarene church? If so, consider encouraging your remaining kids to consider a year or more at Ambrose University College in Calgary. I know a number of the faculty and they are quite wonderful.
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For the record Joe asks:
This is off topic, but I thought that some might be interested in a short Bio here to understand a little more where I am coming from. I was raised in a Christian Brethren assembly, with a solid youth group, then attended two Universities where I did a B.A. in Economics on the nine year plan (that is where the statistics comes from). During that time I discovered InterVarsity Christian Fellowship and Campus Crusade, and found out that not all Bible Believing Christians were Brethren like me. After a few theological shifts, ended up in the Christian and Missionary Alliance. Got married to a wonderful woman, felt the call to full time ministry and went to Canadian Theological Seminary (now Ambrose). After graduation went to work for a Mission Agency as their research and information manager where I developed a Internet based Mission Opportunity database for Canadian Mission Agencies. I also surveyed several thousand Canadian youth about their interest in Missions.
Since then I have become a lay-person doing Web Development, primarily for large corporations. I I have been involved as a lay person in several church plants, a couple of church closings, as well as some pretty healthy established churches.
Having closed both of the closest Alliance churches in our area, we now attend a North American Baptist church. One of the churches we helped start, that is still a going concern, was a Pentecostal church, so we have certainly experienced a wide range of Evangelical churches.
Along the way I have had three pretty wonderful children.
Until a few years ago I had a pretty severe stutter. When looking for a pastoral position I could not find a church to take me on. However, in spite of that I have been an Elder and Worship leader pretty much everywhere I have been. I write at EclecticChristian.com, and consider it a privilege that Michael lets me post things here as well.
I also like to write music. If you are looking for some new songs for your worship service, check out check out my most recent stuff here.
If you happen to listen to songs, leave a comment at Eclectic Christian and let me know what you think.
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From my own experience, growing up in the 80’s and 90’s, my advice to reaching out to youth would be:
1) Stop all the endless sermons about sex/drugs/alcohol/rock music. If you wouldn’t talk on the same four subjects to adults in your congregation all the time, why do you assume youth want to hear them week after week?
2) In that same vein, give them more meat. I attended two different megachurches, during the 12 – 18 age span. In the second one especially, everything was dircted towards outreach. While this was not all bad, bringing in some non-churched youth who otherwise wouldn’t have heard the gospel, many of the Christian kids who came with their families from other churches felt quite neglected by comparison. They didn’t need to hear the basic salvation/outreach message again and again, and felt frustrated that their need for teaching was not being addressed.
3) Don’t be afraid to drop what doesn’t work. If the kids are bored or unaffected by the way you’re doing something, drop it and reinvent the wheel if necessary.
4) Let the parents know you’re not going to become the substitute parent for 4-6 years. Encourage them to disciple their own kids, since they (presumably)know their kids better than a youth minister would.
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J. Michael Jones writes:
Ouch!
But an accurate analysis of my analysis. I think I see my own comments on the data as being a starting point for the discussion.
I really like what Becky had to say:
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Mike
I so appreciate the time and thought you put into the dissection of this survey. I am married to a Bio-Statistician and he has shown me that you really can’t take a survey at face value.
First you affirmed much of what is in my heart and the reason that , even though I find the house church method appealing, we decided to join a church where a great deal is invested not only in teens but pre-teens…not only a youth pastor but a full time childrens pastor.
Secondly you wrote: “Being able to contribute to the spiritual well being of University students is something I believe will have a lasting impact on both their lives and the future health of the church”
In light of your insights this make sense.
Great post!
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Miguel – a plus post – j.Micheal Jones – ditto…
i have to agree with you both. i just turned 36, but the institutional church has pushed me away at every turn. i haven’t rejected her, she has pushed me away. I grew up going twice on Sundays, in every children’s program, musical, orchestra, choir etc. we travelled as a family, playing music and daddy preached…
at 8 i wanted to be baptized. i was a little precocious, i read my Bible and i knew it was the next step. had to wait till i was 11, and even then it was a multiple choice check the box type of thing where i never had to say anything.
the church is full of paid professionals defending their turf. Now that i am a mom, the church has changed so much that it’s not even the same place i grew up in – we have changed with the times, and i’m not sure what the message is that my childhood denomination is trying to put out there. i think it’s “HAVE FUN HERE!” – since marrying, we’ve gone to several different denominations and have found very little passion, just varying levels of rules, and different flavours of culture.
And for what it’s worth, churches hate children. i know it sounds harsh, but there is no other place that children are treated as badly. When you are pregnant, all you get at church is the “don’t you know what causes it?” and “don’t you have a tv?” – then babies have to go to the nursery, little children to the daycare, children to their Bible immunization classes –
we are trying to fit into a church right now, but it is hard. Everyone wants you to get rid of the kids so we can do our adult churchy thing which is basically a lot of email forwards read from the pulpit and a sermon at the same level as my grade three Bible curriculum. It is hardly palatable…
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The toughest thing to do in a comments section like this is to condense about 50 pages of thought into a paragraph (or two). While Michael Bell raises legitimate points and does a good job dissecting the problem, the solutions given are so anemic (speaking of bleeding) that it is like slapping a band aid on a severed carotid artery. There has to be a complete paradigm shift in the way we think Christianly.
A more imperative question is, why would any youth (in their right mind) stay? They feel too guilty to leave?
Most of my evangelical experiences have tried to teach me (when I was growing up) and my kids (when I tried to raise them in a variety of churches) the follow:
1) Be stupid for Jesus (watch a lot of Ken Ham types of videos for starters)
2) Be extremely emotionally dishonest for Jesus (for example be like the adults, smile and pretend you are holy while you emotionally, or physically abuse your spouse in the privacy of your holy home),
3) Be controlled and control others via guilt manipulation (go to church in the first place out of guilt and sense of penitence),
4) See the world through dualistic glasses, not just a metaphysical dualism, but a cultural dualism . . . good guys Vs bad guys. All the arts by the bad guys is total donkey crap. All the art by the good guys, as disgusting as it may be, is wonderful and if you don’t like it . . . then you must not like Jesus.
Any time I’ve tried to step in and change things or help changes things I am met by a paranoid pastor who is afraid that I might upset some parent (eg. if I led a youth group where I encouraged them to share their real doubts).
I could go on and on.
The solution? Woops, I’ve ran out of space . . . but Jeremiah Lawson’s (above) experience would be a start.
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“Pastors, how intentional are you at engaging youth and young adults in your sermons? Go over your last 10 sermons. How many of the sermon illustrations were ones that young people could really relate too? Have you ever alluded to a group like “Cold Playâ€?”
Michael, really, what people do you minister to? I have never been around a ministry where youth work wasn’t the galmorous end all. Seriously. Youth missions. Youth marriage encounters. Youth music. Etc. I guess maybe I am “lucky” in this regard.
“Our churches don’t reach the youth, frankly, because they just don’t care. I know that sounds needlessly hard, but I’ve worked as a youth minister at a church of roughly 100 parishioners. In Sunday School and in the main service I continually pleaded for volunteer assistance in reaching the youth.
Not a single person responded to my plea with an offer, except to give excuses why they couldn’t do it. All the excuses basically said: We don’t really care enough to make it a priority.”
Again, this is hardly typical in my experience. Giving youth answers is easy and you tend to see dramatic results and enthusiasms. The YoungLife glam factor has always been evident on campuses I attended and churches where I worshipped. So the lament again rings false *in my experience.*
“’m wondering if “more emphasis on before-age-23 discipleship†would be just a quick-fix patch, and that the issues are really a deeper neglect of guiding all life stages into a deeper faith. But,then, I’m a struggling middle-aged post-evangelical, and that is a very post-evangelical thing to say.”
AMEN! Why is it so much more meaningful and hopeful when a 23 yr old turns there life around versus a 50 yr old? Is this our perspective or God’s. Demographically youth are the hope of the Church, but based on the way God has fulfilled promises in Scripture. demographics seem awfully suspect. By all means lets target youth, but if you want ministers to reference “Coldplay” in their sermons, you’ll have us forever chasing youth culture and the tail wagging the dog. Coldplay, at least on my campus, are hasbeens of two years ago. I mean, I like Jars of Clay, and my students won’t come near me with a ten foot pole in terms of pop culture relevance. Even if i tweet!
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I’ve been a youth group member, president of my college InterVarsity group, a college chaplain, and a youth group leader. I’ve stayed in mainline Christian denominations the whole time, though I switched from one to another.
My sister is completely secular. We had the same parents, same youth group, same youth group leaders.
My parents, now in their 70s, left the church a few years ago. My dad pretty much dropped out after his mother died. My mom hung in there a while longer.
I’m not sure what to make of this. What I suspect is that we will need to have a radical re-do of our thinking and our behavior rather than just hire better youth ministers. I’m not sure what that would look like, but I can get a glimmer of it out there.
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I wonder if the “age 24” numbers are masking a bigger issue.
At first glance, I fit the profile. Grew up going to church (although never attended youth group.) Went away to college, and the campus ministry of the mainline denomination I grew up in had a huge influence in me making my faith my own rather than “what my family does.” Went to grad school, denomination didn’t have a campus ministry presence, so got involved through friends with an evangelical church with a big campus outreach. So that gets me to about age 24. Graduated, got a job, moved, and immediately sought out an evangelical church in the community – and hit the first big bump because the attitude in the “grown up/non-campus” evangelical churches was “You are female, young, single, educated and we don’t quite know what to do with you except assign you to the nursery and say it is good training for you.” That was way, way less than the role I had been allowed in college/grad school/campus ministry involvement. Of course, now that I’m middle-aged, the gung-ho youngsters do often seem know-it-all and under-exposed to real life, so I can see part of the perspective. But I would recommend friendship and guidance from those with more perspective (not that they seem very open to it), definitely not “your only option is serving in the nursery to prepare for kids of your own”!
Fast forward to early middle age. There has been faith evolution all along, but this is a rough spot. Parents aging, self aging, grief becoming more familiar. The whole post-evangelical thing with past church-rewarded faith not deep enough. And almost no support from church people to be struggling or asking questions, nevermind the provision of any mentoring. I never had children, but if I had, they would be high-school or college aged. In my betwixt and between struggling state, what would I tell them about church involvement? What would I model for them about faith? This is an uncomfortable stage; sometimes I feel I’m on the edge of a cliff of loss of faith entirely. That causes intense grief and fear. If some pollster wanted to interview me on the phone, I’d say “No thank you.” Click. So I wouldn’t show up in the polls.
Thinking back to grad school, I remember hearing my friends make comments about “My mom is in her religious-fad-X stage now.” And, looking back, my own mother was struggling with faith then too. She was just quiet about it.
And I look at my now elderly parents. My mother eventually abandoned the faith, although she quietly continued to attend church with my father. When my father retired, and they moved, they found a new church, but they were old, grey, slower, and not the extroverted, energetic, productive young types that a church loves. They never really fit in. Then my father started having some memory issues that made it difficult for him to follow the logic of the sermon or the Sunday school. And I’m sure he was quite capable of asking the same question three weeks in a row in Sunday school, not remembering he had already asked it. I’m sure he was frustrated and scared and could pick up on growing tension/frustration/ridicue in the Sunday school group. He and my mother no longer attend any church. But if a pollster asked him, I’m sure he would give his religious affiliation as the same affiliation he lived all his life with.
So back to the young person in high school or college. What if it isn’t just inattentive parents? Or not enough youth/college workers? What if they can see that their parents and grandparents are honestly struggling to grow into a faith deep enough for their own stages of life and that neither their parents/grandparents or the church have many answers or even much ability to work together address the issues?
I’m wondering if “more emphasis on before-age-23 discipleship” would be just a quick-fix patch, and that the issues are really a deeper neglect of guiding all life stages into a deeper faith. But,then, I’m a struggling middle-aged post-evangelical, and that is a very post-evangelical thing to say.
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Camassia writes:
I think what you are saying is what I was trying to say when I stated that:
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Don Bryant writes:
“There is no substitute for a church where youth are exposed to adult Christ-followers, not 21 year old youth pastors who are passing through.”
I agree. One point that I did not get to in my main post, is that “Youth groups” does not seem to make much of a difference. For Catholics, both those who stayed in Catholicism and those who left had attended youth group at the same rate.
Is your youth Pastor and parents (and I am speaking generally here) willing to lead the teens in serious disicipleship, or are they looking for a baby sitting service?
Mitch spent seven years of his life pouring himself into his youth. Our current youth Pastor has had the same sort of tenure with the same sort of effect. Of our two most recent graduates, one is doing missions to university students in a closed access country this summer, the other has just graduated from University and is headed for the Pastorate. (Both by the way have been involved in Campus ministries.) I am very glad my kids are at the church we are currently at, although I too think we can do more to get our kids involved.
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Curtis, I think you are exactly right.
I am trying so hard not to make this Catholic vs Protestant. Please Catholics, I say this only as my observation.
I think part of it is that he was so thoroughly ingrained with the idea that he Catholic Church is the one true church that to come back to Christ can only mean to come back to the Catholic Church.
If you are taught that your church is the only true way, but that way doesn’t work for you, then what is left for you?
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My response to “hire and youth pastor and get our teens committed to Christ” strategy is tempered by the book The Family Based Youth Ministry” by IVP. It is written by a youth pastor in a large church. His assertion is that there is almost no correlation between presence of a youth pastor and the process of turning children into adult Christ-followers. After many years as a pastor, I agree. There is no substitute for a church where youth are exposed to adult Christ-followers, not 21 year old youth pastors who are passing through. Do they make a difference? Yes. But not the kind of difference I read this post suggesting. Not much of a substitute out there for a kid who is already in church doing deep spiritual development when mom and dad and their friends don’t fill the bill. I commend this book to all. It is sane, not overreactive and doesn’t let us come up with solutions that are no solutions.
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This is right on the money. How many of our churches have advanced men’s, women’s, and senior’s programs but fail to connect with the children and the youth?
And how many more have advanced childrens and youth programs but fail to connect what they do with the worship of the whole church? It’s amazing that there’s any surprise when these kids leave for other churches or become disillusioned and disappear.
The head of my seminary program has made it a point to repeatedly remind us that most people’s spiritual formation happens early, and we had better be concerned about that in our pastorate.
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Amen to this post. However, when the issue of effectively reaching the youth comes up in churches, a lot of finger pointing can come very quickly. I’ve never seen any of that to be helpful.
Our churches don’t reach the youth, frankly, because they just don’t care. I know that sounds needlessly hard, but I’ve worked as a youth minister at a church of roughly 100 parishioners. In Sunday School and in the main service I continually pleaded for volunteer assistance in reaching the youth.
Not a single person responded to my plea with an offer, except to give excuses why they couldn’t do it. All the excuses basically said: We don’t really care enough to make it a priority.
The majority of the youth in our youth group were NOT the children of the parishioners. They did not come on Sundays either because their parents didn’t come. Those who did come once never came back because aside from myself and my wife, the only adults who spoke to them simply chided them for their church inappropriate behavior: “Take off you hat in de House of Gauwd young man!”.
I understand that my one experience there cannot be blanketed across the nation, but I do feel that many have experienced very similar situations. People who care about youth will attempt to spend time with them. Love is spelled T I M E, and the way we spend our time shows that youth are not a priority.
End of rant.
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ProdigalSarah,
I can’t say for certain but I think it is more difficult for an apostate Catholic to come back to the Church because it is impossible to make a clean break with whatever negative elements one experienced before leaving. Whether you hated Mass, got burned by the hierarchy or rejected certain teachings and practices, it is all more or less universal.
In Protestantism, you can focus on Jesus and make a clean break with everything else, re-inserting yourself into a different community which rectifies whatever drove you out originally. With Catholicism, Jesus always comes with the community and the community is always the same, so re-entry can be more painful and difficult. Et in Arcadia ego, so to speak.
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I echo iMonk’s statement about RUF – it was a huge help to me when I was in college. I never was really part of a “youth group” either – so maybe there is a connection there.
Michael (Bell)’s suggestion that children and teens participate in the service is excellent. My church allows and encourages anyone old enough to read to be the lector, and the kids seem to respond well to that responsibility. However, I plead with pastors: Please please please don’t use sermon illustrations from Coldplay! 🙂
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We’ve seen the same thing with “Children’s Masses” and youth groups in the RCC. We’ve watered down our message, and “changed the rules” for the kiddoes, but to what effect? On top of that, post Vatican II catechesis to both adults AND children has been at best weak, and at worst abominable if not downright heretical (in some cases), at least from a Catholic perspective. I agree that parents and society in general are a part of the problem. I was probably just a little bit better off than most. We never missed Sunday Mass or Holy Days of Obligation, and Holy Week wasn’t missed either. My CCD classes were not particularly spectacular. I think our teachers were doing the best they could within the limits of their authority and the material they were stuck with.
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Your findings ring true with my experiences.
Raised Southern Baptist I was pulling away from the church by age 12 or 13. My husband, raised Catholic, went to a Catholic high school and college. He broke with the church when he moved away to attend grad school.
I’m not entirely sure why it has been easier for me to come back to Christ than my husband.
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I would have to credit my walk with Christ as a combination of my parents’ efforts; the efforts of Christian teachers I met at my high school; and the time an Assemblies of God youth pastor and one of his volunteers took investing into me. By the time I was 18 I had been shown what the basics of exegesis and hermeneutics are, become well-acquainted with Francis Schaeffer’s works, and had been encouraged to immerse myself in a lot of culture and literature. TO this day I can’t imagine there are many AG youth pastors who would encourage any of their teenagers in the flock to read Solzhenitsyn, Gordon Fee, and Francis Schaeffer, let alone to share their thoughts about Kierkegaard’s reflections on Christian love (good) vs his apologetics (not so good).
In hindsight I realize my faith was shaped at multiple levels by literally a whole community of people who were interested in investing into my life, not necessarily their future. As the youth pastor told his youth group when I was part of it, he was eager to prepare us to have an adult faith we could take with us into adult life, not just expecting us to play games to keep ourselves occupied until we went out into the working world. I think Chris G. makes a good point about parents but I also recognize that it takes more than the efforts of parents alone to help a child grow through the teenage years into a sustained faith. Parents can actually become obstacles … or a key reason for the confessional shift.
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Chris G. what you articulated is why I have been deeply skeptical about the long-term value of the house church movement or alternatives to the institutional church. As I grew up observing those alternatives to “institutional church” or “organized religion” I came to see that they were so anemic in their capacity to pass on the Christian faith and so likely to be more insular and irrelevant to the life of a teenager and college student I began to be sympathetic to formal churches. In many cases house churches have teen agers because the parents MAKE them go, not because they have any friends or interest in actually being somewhere just because Dad and Mom think this is better than some institutional church.
I can’t help but wonder if the adults who are in their forties or fifties who are getting behind the house church movement as an alternative to the abuses of institutional church in the here and now aren’t setting their children up for a massive dechurching and the practical deChristianisation of their own children in just a few years. Especially among the culture war crowd they might as well send all their kids to Reed college now if they go the house church movement.
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I wonder where I fit along this spectrum. I was raised nominally Catholic, became a fairly hardened atheist by 20, softened into muddle-headed agnosticism through my 20s, became a committed Buddhist by age 28 (short of shaving my head and joining a monastery) and became a Christian at age 36 after reading through apologetics and works of theology by the likes of Bonhoeffer. It hasn’t been a journey of “shopping,” and there’s no hitting the reset button. I’m sold out to JC.
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My suggestion is that rather than picking on pastors, pick on parents.
With an incredible increase in the number of double-income households (BLS reported over 60% of households w/children were dual-worker families; it was only 22% in 1988!), more and more children are spending less and less time with their parents.
Applying my simplistic mathematical formula of time=influence, it’s no wonder that children who are spending more of their waking hours with someone other than their parents (caregivers, teachers, peers, etc.) are not going to be inclined to their parents’ beliefs.
Until we Americans make some real sacrifices (yup, I used the S****** word) and quell our voracious appetites for more/bigger/better (materially, of course), we won’t have the time to influence our own children for Christ. I’d even suggest some an allusion to Molech…
C’mon parents–put your kids before your careers and retirement accounts (you can trust God with those)!
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My experience with VCF and the Navigators at my undergraduate school was actually very counterproductive for me, faith-wise – that VCF group there pushed a very isolated, “childish” view of Christianity which encouraged a cocoon-like, insular approach to their faith. It was hard dealing with a group that was very insular, and almost cliquish in how it dealt with “newbies”. Ironically, my spiritual development was greatly enhanced by my non-Christian (Atheist/Agnostic, Muslim, etc.) friends – the types of people who were supposedly the “enemy”.
I tried going to Campus Crusade but they alarmed me with their almost militaristic language in how they were going to take over the evil, immoral university for God…somehow I got the image in my mind of them charging the administrative offices with guns and the like.
In contrast, when I moved to another school for grad studies I fell in with a new VCF group, and the difference between that group and the last group was like night and day. I think the difference was that the group at my latter IV group weren’t afraid to go out there and genuinely engage, converse with, and befriend people outside the university, be they LGTBQ, or Muslim or anyone else outside the faith. There wasn’t any of the paranoid fear that the eeeevil atheistic university was out to destroy their Christianity, which is what I got sometimes at both my previous IV group and at Campus Crusade.
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Mike, excellent work (as always)! I most appreciated your questions for pastors and I would love to pass this on to pastor friends. Also, “a large pecentage” of those who leave the church made that decision in their teens? – there are definitely some pastoral implications in this post!
I am happy that you say that we need to be more youth inclusive. A trend I have witnessed is to have youth worship services at the same as the adults have their worship services. I have often wondered if this is a good thing. Perhaps, what you are saying here is that these kinds of youth-only-worship-services is not really a great idea in the long run?
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I credit Reformed University Fellowship with a huge encouragement to our kids.
BTW, they were never members of a youth group.
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One of our daughters got very turned off by the college ministries that you mentioned as perpetuating that to which Camassia alludes in her post.
Has anyone other than James Fowler really looked at the concept of faith development in terms of stages of faith? That might provide some help too.
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What you say certainly squares with my experience, but I wonder if pastors’ attempts to be more youth-oriented sometimes feeds the problem. When I think about ex-Christians I know, they often learned a childish version of Christianity in Sunday School, then when they got old enough to realize how childish it was, they assumed the whole religion must be childish. Even those who stayed Christian often felt they had to almost learn a new religion as adults. Maybe there’s a problem in communicating to kids that there’s really a grown-up faith waiting for them at the other end of childhood? (I wasn’t raised Christian myself, so I’m just hypothesizing here.)
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