Chaplain Mike received this update from Denise Spencer today.
It is with a heavy heart that I bring my latest update on Michael. We have learned that his cancer is too advanced and too aggressive to expect any sort of remission. Our oncologist estimates that with continued treatment Michael most likely has somewhere between six months and a year to live. This is not really a surprise to us, though it is certainly horrible news. From the very beginning, both of us have suspected that this would prove to be an extremely bad situation. I don’t know why; perhaps God was preparing us for the worst all along by giving us that intuition.
The combination of the cancer and the chemotherapy is keeping Michael in a very weakened state. He is in bed all day, getting up once or twice only to eat a “meal.” His meals consist mostly of Ensure, with occasional mugs of soup, dishes of ice cream and milkshakes. He’s still taking fluids well, currently preferring Sprite and ginger ale. His tastes do change slightly from time to time, and I try to be ready to jump in whatever direction they seem to be moving. He is in no pain at all, for which I am unspeakably grateful.
Michael went through a period of depression, as I’m sure you would expect. He seems to have come through that now, for the most part. He knows he is dying, and he says he is at peace. Though he will still say with unashamed honesty, “I don’t want it to all be over at age 53!” he has the confidence of knowing that he has run the race God set out for him. He believes he has done the work our Lord intended for him to do, and if the last task God has for him in this life is dying, then he will do that to the best of his ability.
Through all of this, in every phase of illness, diagnosis and treatment, Michael’s faith has not wavered. I know most readers love Michael for, among other things, the transparency of his writings. If I may be allowed such honesty for just a moment, I will confess that I have been amazed at how strong Michael has been spiritually and emotionally from the very beginning of this ghastly journey. Day by day I continue to see the Holy Spirit at work in him, molding him, softening him, giving him a more childlike faith than I believe he has ever known. When the moment comes, I am assured Michael will be ready. I am the one who doesn’t want to let go.
Words can never express our gratitude for every thought, every gift, every note, every prayer you have blessed us with. Please pray for continued peace and strength for Michael, for me, and for Noel and Clay. This is the most difficult thing we have ever been through, and only with God’s help can we make it.
The Internet Monk Archives 
Michael,
Praying God’s comfort, strength and peace upon you and your family though his journey ahead, and remembering back to our first study together and realizing that “life is difficult,” but knowing that God holds us in His hand. Blessings to you all.
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I just want to let Michael know how greatly I have appreciated his ministry via this blog. And honestly, that doesn’t really get at how thankful I am for the way in which Christ has spoken through him to me and so many others. And as was noted, his transparency is what has spoken volumes more than anything else…Though I think his willingness to be so transparent is also a clear sign of the wisdom through which he also writes on so many different issues, topics, etc. In particular, I would like to thank him for his “On Running Wounded” article…A friend gave that to me a couple years ago and it was timely and important on a number of different levels. As a minister who does a great deal of work with couples, I have found it to be an excellent resource to center around in discussing and grapling with the issues in our marriages–the depth of our depravities and the severe, transformative grace of God in the midst of that. Not only that, but it was and still is, such an extremely powerful word to mine and my wife’s own hearts as we have had our share of struggles…My sin is always before me. Thankfully, the grace and mercy of Christ is too…And it has changed/conitnues to change myself, my wife and our marriage. That article was/is an important part of a very difficult journey that we have had to take over the last few years…But it was/is (now more than ever), another evidence of the Lord’s beautiful, terrifying, hard and wonderful grace.
A favorite poem from George Herbert (heard in one of Tim Keller’s sermons), speaks sweet volumes to me…Hopefully to you.
A DIALOGUE-ANTHEM, by George Herbert
Alas, poor Death! Where is thy glory?
Where is thy famous force, thy ancient sting?
Alas, poor mortal, void of story!
Go spell and read how I have killed thy King.
Poor Death! And who was hurt thereby?
Thy curse being laid on Him makes thee accurst.
Let losers talk, yet thou shalt die;
These arms shall crush thee.
Spare not, do thy worst.
I shall be one day better than before;
Thou so much worse, that thou shalt be no more.
Amen.
Again…Thank you for your openness and willingness to “go there” on so many levels and with so many areas of life…Praying for you and your family. Grace and Peace. Doug
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I’m praying … we’re all praying for the Holy Spirit’s preserving strength and power in weakness
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We continue to pray for your family.
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My heart is heavy hearing this. Jesus hold them close. Praying for all of you and thanking God for you.
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Michael, I’m grieved to read this update. You’ve been a light for the radical grace of the gospel and I’m grateful for your hard work and beautiful writing. My prayers go with you.
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I can honestly say that I know what you and your family are going through. My husband, Rick, a pastor for 33 years (he was 53 too), died from a brain tumor on Christmas Eve. It is a very hard road that you all are traveling, but God is and will continue to carry you…even when you think you cannot go on. Keep fighting and enjoying each second that you share as a family…no matter how different it may be from what you once knew. I am glad that I found this site if for no other reason than being able to pray for your dear family.
Debbie Starr
Louisville, Ky.
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I miss Michael dearly, too. There’s definitely a hole in my week and I miss his podcast so much.
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I miss Michael so much, my day isn’t the same without his daily posts and his weekly podcast… Michael has touched me beyond words.
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iMonk,
You writings have changed the way I think about my faith and the faith of others around me. Thanks for all the encouragement over the years, for your insightful voice, your humor and grace. There is no doubt you are a prophet of God; a good and faithful servant. Be at peace.
dan
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I am so sorry that Michael, Denise and their children are facing all this… having lost a sibling to cancer 3 years ago, i know it is a very hard journey.
i will continue to pray for the whole Spencer family… this really is heartbreaking news.
while I don’t know Michael “IRL,” and have had differences with him in comment sections of the blog, I felt I could speak about those differences due to his honesty, kindness and general good humor about life, even (maybe especially?) the hard parts.
My deepest thanks to Michael and his gangstas for all they’ve done here, and to the Spencer family, for enabling him to do it.
We love you guys.
hugs,
e.
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still praying and thanking God for iMonk….
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I am just, so, so sorry. As a wandering agnostic, michaels site has been a ‘Godsend’….?(Ha Ha, maybe that’s saying something!!!) No but really, Godspeed to you Michael……
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I stumbled onto this blog a few years ago when I was an unbeliever who was skeptical and yet curious about the faith. Reading this blog was one of the things that helped lead me to Christ. It’s hard to know what to say in a time like this, I just want to thank you so much for the wisdom, honesty, and love of Christ you’ve shown in your writings. They have helped me so much. I’m deeply saddened by this news and my prayers are for you and your family.
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Grace and peace, Michael. And thank you for all you have offered to us.
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There aren’t words. Michael, you focused on Jesus no matter what, and put Him at the center of everything, and that taught me to do the same.
I’ve said this before, but I can’t wait to knock back some wine with you one day. That will be a good day. Love and grace and peace.
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Michael and Denise, Clay and Noel,
You are loved, and highly regarded, and deeply cared for.
And not just by a community of believers all over the globe. But also by a Savior whom was not taken by surprise by this, and is working even in this situation for His purposes and for your best.
His ways are not our own, and though He may send us through the fire…He is good and He will not leave us alone to fend for ourselves.
One day He will bring you all to completion, as He has promised in His Word.
Perhaps Jesus will do a mighty miracle on your behalf.
Whatever He does, rest in the fact that He loves you all and is with you every second of the day, throughout this entire process.
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I’ve never felt so deeply for someone I never really met. Michael’s writings have been a beacon of hope to me. None will ever know the impact he has had on countless.
Imonk I hope you are overwhelmed with blessing, as God has used you as a fount to so many. Like so many others here I am still holding out for a miracle.
May God look upon you with the eyes of His mercy, comfort you with a sense of His goodness, preserve you from the temptation of the enemy, and give you patience under your affliction.
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I have been waiting for a post like this, and I am sorry to see it. Blessings to Michael and his whole family.
Michael, thank you for your words. I will not forget them.
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I have had the amazing priviledge of listening to imonk’s podcasts and reading this blog and enjoying a cynical, and for once, honest portrayal of the church and Christianity. I can tell from the comments that I have read that the internetmonk has had more influence on people like me–young adults who are searching for truth–than he may ever know.
Best wishes–
CG
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Wow. I am speechless and my heart is heavy.
In 2009, my wife and I lost our brother. He died with a brain tumor and he was 30. We take heart that he was the Lord’s and the Lord was his. My wife and I will join you in your suffering for the Lord.
Mike doesn’t know me other than that I have visited here and commented a few times, but he is a blessing to me and has given me much to think about. I will continue to pray for the Spencer family.
Continue to be well my friends.
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I am someone who has been in and out of the Faith for many years. Ironically, it was during my most recent bout with doubt that I discovered the Internet Monk – your post last year about atheism was recommended on an atheist bulletin board that I subscribed to. Even though I didn’t agree with your belief system (and still don’t to some extent), I really appreciated your compassion and refusal to blanketly condemn all atheists as “evil” or “immoral” as some Christians tend to do. I am only just now starting to pray again, haltingly and uncertainly, but you are in my prayers for whatever that’s worth.
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May the Lord bless and keep you.
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My prayers and thoughts are with you all. I am thankful for Michael’s ministry. His willingness to say it like it is has given encouragement to many who have concerns for the path much of Christianity has taken.
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Our prayers are with you all.
I only recently stumbled across Michael’s blog, As so many others have said, his frank and honest writing about the issues facing the church have been comforting and also poignant. His transparency about his own feelings and observations, which have been completely free of artiface or pat conclusions, have been a breath of fresh air.
I suspect you will all never know just how many people have read an imonk article at some point and come away with some helpful thought. And of course, I cannot speak to Michaels years of ministry off the internet.
Thank you, and God bless you.
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Michael has ministered to me for years, affecting my understanding of evangelicalism, ministry, sermonizing, marriage, church growth. through this form I met many who I now call friend. Imonk’s ministry to me has been vital to my writing, my ministry and even my marriage. I will pray for Denise to have God’s own strength.
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I’ve only begun to read this blog a month ago and I’m still trying to catch up. You certainly have put your heart into it. My prayer is for God to bring you back to health to continue this good work.
Glen
“Lov’n the Lord & liv’n the Life…”
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Grieving. Grieving as those who have hope, but still grieving. I only found Mike’s blog about a year ago and I am very grateful for the real-life, transparent, honest stories he has shared. They have humbled me and made me aware of situations and people beyond my sphere. Thank you, Mike for lifting a veil. You are a blessing…
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Michael, your writing has meant a lot to me, and I am so sad about what is happening. You are in my prayers.
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May God’s love be felt present with you, somehow even now, especially now.
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Please know that Heidi and I are praying for you both daily! May you know and experience the powerful grace and mercy of God like never before!
Tim and Heidi Guthrie
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Our dear and much beloved Michael Spencer,
Your wisdom has been a blessing and your wit a real pleasure. Your words have shaped me and countless others beyond comprehension. May our Lord Jesus grant you and your family peace. We will never, and I mean never(!), forget you. As long as you remain with us, please continue to send word along. I’ll keep praying.
With all the love imaginable,
Alexander Manlius
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Unfortunate for his family, and us, and painful for him, certainly in the physical sense, but we are all appointed once to die. May God bless him with a peaceful death.
Have mercy on me oh God, in your goodness;
in your abundant compassion blot out my offense.
Wash away all my guilt; from my sin cleanse me.
For I know my offense; my sin is always before me.
Against you alone have I sinned;
I have done such evil in your sight.
Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all my guilt.
Create a clean heart in me O God,
and put a new and right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from thy presence,
and take not thy holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and sustain in me a willing spirit.
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as a longtime reader of this blog, whose faith has been buoyed & encouraged by Michael’s wonderful essays for years, this news hurts my heart to the core…am continuing to pray for both of you, Michael & Denise.
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Michael,
Haven’t been here in a while. I had to cut way back on my blog reading for various reasons. But then I heard the bad news. So sorry for you and your family. Thanks so much for the Internet Monk. It was a real morale builder knowing that I wasn’t alone in trying to be thoughtful about my (post-)evangelical faith. My thoughts are prayers are with you and your family.
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Thank you Michael. God bless you.
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You are in my prayers. We haven’t of course met, but you have had such a positive influence upon my walk with God through your writings and podcasts. Whenever my spiritual life was in upheaval, which was often, you were “there” offering a little clarity. Thank you so very much.
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I am so saddened to read this news ….May God grant comfort and peace for your family while girding you with strength. Thank you for your inspiration, Michael, and may the angels of heaven surround you.
With love,
amy
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I am praying for my friend, Michael Spencer. Although I never met him in person, he has been a gracious, kind, and generous dialogue partner over the years.
May God be with Michael and his family.
With deep affection,
Frank
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Thank you for your ministry. Thanks for helping me understand that Christianity really is all about grace. For giving me permission to have doubts, to fail, to not have everything figured out, and to be a broken human who is loved by a gracious Father, THANK YOU.
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I am so sorry to hear this. Like others here, I have appreciated Michael’s honesty and raw faith, and the example he has shown of living out (post-)evangelical Christianity.
St. Joseph, patron of a happy death, watch over Michael in these days.
Mary, Mother of Sorrows, comfort this family.
Christ, come out to meet Michael and journey with him to the Father’s house.
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The virtuous man handles the troubles of life altogether decorously. Aristotle.
Since everyone goes through death, even God, make your death something beautiful as did Christ. Your death is your participation and doing over of Christ’s death. O man have courage! Your reward and rest await!
Axios!
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I discovered and began to read Michael when problems arose at my former church in dealing with church growth movement change. Michael’s educated (and also funny) opinions and thoughts about mega churches and their effects on Christianity made me realize I was not alone in my resistance to the excesses of the movement. As time went on, Michael’s willingness to expose his personal vulnerabilities and foibles even more endeared me to him, as I was used to a clergy that was defensive and closed, never admitting fault or mistake. Michael’s journey from being a narrow Reformed Christian to being willing to see value in many Christian walks also put him way light years beyond the average Christian blogger, and following that journey was fascinating and enlightening.
I am deeply saddened by what has happened. Michael could have much more to contribute to modern Christian understanding and I am praying that God will miraculously intervene to allow that, but he has already left a legacy of what it means for a Christian to confront evil, to accept new ideas, and to open his heart and mind to others. I have been blessed to accompany him on his journey.
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My heart is so heavy after reading this. I’ve been reading Michael’s posts and listening to the podcast for several years, and I just want to say that he’s touched my life more than I can say. You’ll all be in our prayers. May God’s peace be with you.
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Michael, God has used you to enable me to step out of the evangelical box and to see Him for who He is. Through you He has opened my ears to listen to the voices of believers from other traditions. I have seen unity in Christ among His children, even when we don’t all see Him from the same perspective. He has used you as a facilitator and catalyst in my spiritual growth. Thank you.
You have shared many of your life struggles with us in the blog world. Thank you for letting us see that God doesn’t strike us dead for asking questions.
I will continue to pray for God’s grace for you and Denise and your children in the days and nights ahead.
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I’m so sorry to hear this news. I’ve always thought this a wonderful sight, because Michael is such a thoughtful man, never shrill or harsh. He always respects others’ beliefs. I hope his time will be as pain-free as possible.
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Denise, thank you for sharing this with us so we can pray accordingly. Thank you for sharing Michael with us.
My husband and I so appreciate Michael’s transparency in living this life, his Kentucky-isms, (me) any mention of The Ohio State Buckeyes, his wit, his encouragement, and his annual welcoming of Spring through the Reds. As we know, all of our bodies are dying. The way Michael is living has spurred me to remember that and remember what this life is and is not about.
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Joining with all the others, I will be praying for all of you in this. I know we bow at His Sovereignty and would not want anything but His purpose. But I also know He has told us to ask. I am. God bless you.
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God’s grace and mercy and love and comfort and peace and everything else good that flows from Him be with you, Michael, and you, Denise, and your entire family.
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I’ve been following Internet Monk since I was a junior in high school (I’m now a junior in College).
Through this site he’s taught me and been an example.
I am really saddened by this news.
I will be praying for you and your family Michael, peace.
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Mr. Spencer,
I just wanted to say that I have been following your blog for almost a year now, and it has brought me so much blessing and given me hope at a time when I was going through a great deal of stress and disillusionment with my own life in Christ and with his Church in America. Largely because of your writings, I have experienced a renewed hope that we Christians in America and throughout the world can indeed navigate our way to a closer walk with God in such an uncertain world.
I pray that if it is the Lord’s will, that he not take you from us just yet, but regardless, know that you have impacted this believer’s walk with God for the better in a way that few people have, and I never thought that it could be done through such a medium.
Blessings and prayers for you and your family!
Dan D.
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This breaks my heart. The ideas and words and concepts I have read from Michael have been foundational to my faith and have helped mold it from something flimsy and fragile into an earthquake-proof, steel-framed building.
I don’t know how to feel right now, but I am pretty sure Michael would say to praise the God who gives and takes away, and that is exactly what I will do.
Denise, my prayers are with you during this trial. Michael, my prayers are with you, that you might welcome Him with open arms and not be afraid, ever, for He is your father and He has called you home.
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ΚÏÏιε á¼Î»Îησον,
ΧÏιστὲ á¼Î»Îησον,
ΚÏÏιε á¼Î»Îησο.
Lord, have mercy;
Christ, have mercy;
Lord, have mercy
IMonk has helped me, like many others, through many dark hours in my faith journey. I thank God the time that led me to find this site. Thank you Michael for helping me to live with my faith and profound doubt. This is a celebration of a life through which so many are blessed.
Michael, Denise, Noel and Clay, someone in one of the biggest Muslim country is praying for your family.
Jesu Juva.
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I am praying for Michael and his family.
We have had our differences in the past, but none of that means anything now (to me).
One day, we will have some laughs over it all, in Heaven, and talk about how his Big Red Machine always whooped my Dodgers whenever I went to see them play.
Please tell him that Steve Martin loves him.
Thanks.
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Michael Spencer has influenced me as much as any pastor or writer of any time. I think that 100 years from now people will still be talking about him. He has changed me and I’d like to see that change happen in the christian world.
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I really don’t know what to say except I’m so sorry. I have so enjoyed this blog over the last several years; you have given me new perspectives, and helped me walk through some difficult issues. Your insights have been invaluable to my faith walk.
I am praying for you and your family.
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Thank you, Tim. Yes, this is SO hard…But you’re right. My calling now is to help him die. I appreciate your words.
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I spoke to our chaplain, and Michael’s Mass is on the books for this coming Sunday. May this Lenten time in your life lead you to an Easter greater than you have ever imagined.
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Mike,
I’m a very recent listener and reader. God brought internetmonk.com across my path to help me find my way out of the “clown car that is American evangelicalism.” The 10 or 12 weeks that I was able to hear your podcast had made it a habit, and you will be missed by this once Independent Fundamental Baptist legalistic pietist cum historic confessional Baptist. Thanks for blazing the trail.
I have been praying for you since the first report of sickness, and will continue to do so.
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This is just devastating. You are all in our prayers.
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I don’t have much more than words to give, as it is by words, Michael, that you have touched me.
You have helped nurture my growth from a ex-fringe-Mormon-agnostic to a more confident, yet more comfortable-with-uncertainty Believer in Christ;
You have strengthened my trust and faith-centeredness in Jesus;
You have helped to comfort me so that I can, with more charity and grace, worship in a community with which I don’t always feel I fully belong;
You have been more spiritually transparent and real than younger pastors whom I love and consider friends; and have affected my soul more than family members who have lived longer.
I wish I could call you my friend, Michael. Yet I consider you my brother in Christ. Because of your ministry here I have come to value that identity as much — and in a few ways, more — than friends whom I know in “real life.”
I’ve prayed for you and your family. I will continue.
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I’m very downcast about this. A cold gray rainy day in Minnesota just got a little harder to take. I have never met Michael, but have counted him a good friend and brother. His podcasts and blog have been an ongoing source of encouragement and thoughtful stimulation to me for the last couple of years.
I’m praying for you Michael and Denise and family.
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I have found so much pure gold here; so much that resonated with me on my own journey and my own walk as a minister. Thank you- even though I have never met you and I live in a different continent.
Words seem so cheap at this time, but I pray that God will continue to hold you and your family.
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I cannot begin to imagine how difficult this is for you both. You continue to be in my prayers. God watch, keep you. May He shower His mercy and grace upon you, and give you peace. For His Sake.
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I only recently found this site through a recommendation from a friend. Michael’s words have been such a tremendous help and affirmation. I have shared them with with my brother, who is struggling with addiction. What a tremendously beautiful, impactful 53 years. And I know I am only one voice among so many who are praying but not typing silly little comments here.
I’m so sorry for your family. I will continue to pray for you for the journey that is ahead. I wish there was more we could all do.
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As one who has benefited greatly from Michael’s wisdom (and wit), I can only say thank you to this dear brother. You have been in my prayers for several months, and will continue to be as you walk the path God has chosen for you. May you walk it together in and with the grace of God.
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My husband, too, has cancer, but not as aggressive, and has held it at bay since the diagnosis in ’01 w some radical methods. He recently did a bout of chemo and decided he’d rather plug along without it, it’s such a debilitating and yes, ghastly way to roadblock cancer. I know no one can advise another on their journey, but have you considered ditching “infusions” in the time left..
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Though I don’t know you and just happened upon this site through the website spiritdaily.com I am sorry to hear of your cancer. Have you looked into any natural health? Ty Bollinger…author of book “Cancer – Step outside of the Box” at ty@cancertruth.net I can’t say one way or another if he is sincere or this really works but it seems you haven’t got much to lose. If you do give it a try and it does work Please let me know so I can pass this on to others. No matter what, I will pray for you and your family.
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Praying for you and the Spencer family. No one can answer why, other than the trite – bring glory to God, but there is a reason, and God will surrender such in His time. I just turned 57, and shutter to think that such could be all, on planet Earth. But, from reading the many posts, Michael’s is a life, well lived – whether he remains for 6 months, 6 years or longer. Blessings of peace, and hope.
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Wow.
I will keep you both in my prayers. Thank you, Michael, for all you have done through your blog and your articles, for feeding our hearts and souls with your passion for God and for life. God’s peace go with you as you make the transition homeward.
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There are no words, but yes … we are praying for you all.
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It’s hard to know what to say– this website has been a source of healing for me and my husband. I hope that Michael’s writings will continue to be on the Internet and perhaps even published in a book of essays, so that the work God has been using him for can continue to bless future generations.
God’s good work in you and your family, Miichael, will continue to give Him glory.
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I am heartbroken, for in Michael’s words I have often found Christ. I feel lost and alone. My deepest prayers go out to Michael, his family, friends and caregivers, along with my gratitude for the wisdom he has shared. I want to be angry with God for taking this angel from us but I will try to keep my faith up.
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This is such sad news.
I love Michael Spencer for, above all else, his honesty. With him there are no gimmicks, no cajoling, no spin, no pretense, no manipulation. He speaks the truth in love. By so doing, he fed so many of Christ’s sheep, including me.
Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy.
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I am so deeply saddened and know that your sadness must be beyond words and comprehension. May you both know out Lord’s peace and grace and presence equal to and in greater measure than that sadness. May the light of Christ shine upon and through you in this dark and difficult time.
Michael, your blog has been an enormous help to me over the past two or three years, more than I can express. It has given me hope. And it continues to do this. You have a gift for sharing and giving us not just your thoughts but a part of yourself. I think that is why so many of us feel that in some small way we know you. I am so very grateful for how God is using you to bless and strengthen the body of Christ. I am praying for both of you every day. You may be going home sooner than you had hoped, but the good news is that it is home indeed. I look forward to meeting you when I get there if not before.
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Maybe this is a chance for God to show up on the scene and give Michael a miracle! Jesus was in the miracle business. He went around healing the sick and that has not stopped. It is one of the last things he told his disciples to do before He went to be with the Father, he said, Go make disciples and heal the sick. I believe the prayer in James 5, is alive and well today. Go to the elders of the church, anointing with oil and prayer will heal the sick. This is not some tele-evangelist mumbo-jumbo-kook stuff. God can still touch a person and heal their bodies. Please don’t give up! Call on Jesus, and ask him to heal your body.
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We do not enter out onto the deep alone, but Christ is in the boat with us. The peace of Christ transcends all of the unknown, all of the depth, and far beyond the horizon at the edge of sea.
The angels came with words to men: “Fear not.” ,
“Be not afraid’.
May the deep peace of Christ be with Michael now and always, is my prayer.
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*Sob*
I went through this with my own dear husband and it is ghastly indeed. I’m so sorry that you must endure this heartbreak. So sorry. Dear Lord, be merciful.
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God bless you Michael Spencer, I will see you on the other side my friend. Just from reading this post I have been encouraged to keep up my walk in Christ. God speed into the arms of Jesus.
Love you fellow Brother in Christ,
Brian Eckes
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I’m praying for you down here in Mobile, AL. You’ve been one of the greatest encouragements in my life and a tremendous help in matters of faith. May the Peace of God be with you and your wife more and more each day.
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I would suggest that, at a time like this, viewing things from God’s perspective might be best .. which says that the death of His saints is a precious thing in His sight. Hence I cannot imagine that what is precious to God will be unpleasant for His saint.
It is, I suppose, doubly difficult as it reveals in undeniable terms, our own frailty. We’re all going to get to go there, one day. And, to the extent that Michael’s situation makes that more real to his readers, it may well be one of his greater contributions.
God bless you, Michael and family.
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I am so very sorry and I weep with you right now.
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Michael, you and your family are very much in my thoughts, heart and prayers. Although I’ve never met you or had the great opportunity to hear you speak, I feel as though I know you. You have touched my life. Like others have mentioned I stumbled across your website when I was going through a very painful time in my life generated by the church I was attending. Your words were an encouragement. You also opened my mind in so many ways. I grew up with a Pentacostal background (which I’m not discounting), but I learned so much from you that I was never taught. As I’ve read the postings at your site you’ve made me laugh, cry and cheer you on as you vented about “worship” music in our services. Thank you for it all. I can hardly wait to get my copy of your book.
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wow! So many first time commenters here.
Michael, i have been reading your blog since 2005. And i am very saddened upon hearing this news.
Because of you, i was able to finally (and peacefully)reconcile In me the thought of having a fiance who is Catholic. A very different orientation from mine.
And also, because of you, i was able to know that i was never alone all along in the journey that i’m taking.
It feels like losing a very good teacher. Your blog has been very instrumental to my journey and I just can’t imagine a month without going to your site. I check it everyday for any updates.
i felt drawn to your writings because a lot of them touches my exact sentiments on evangelicalism, and it feels like you’re writing things that are always bugging me deep inside but can’t or doesN’t know how to express them.
I will be praying for you Michael, and I pray that God may give you miraculous healing. Hope that you and your family will always rest on Him til the end.
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I’ve been a reader for a couple of years now, and words are painfully insufficient for my feelings on Michael’s prognosis.
Michael, thank you for sharing your heart, passion, doubts, and thoughts. You’ve touched so many lives, and your writing has been a means for a clearer, brighter view of God than I’ve had in years. I’ve shared this blog with many friends, and I am confident its contents will continue to touch the seeking and the found for a long time to come.
We’ve had you too short a time, Michael, but thank you for not spending them fruitlessly. You have many spiritual step-brothers and god-children.
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Praying. Lord, have mercy. Don’t know what else to say.
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Thank you, Michael, for keeping it real. The Lord led me to your blog at a time when I was questioning a lot of things in the church and I have enjoyed getting to walk with you for a little way on our journey. I look forward to meeting you someday.
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Michael and Denise, this is very sad and painful news. You are very dear to us, and we have come to love your faithfulness, both in your desire to be more like Jesus and in your regular blogging. You’ve been an encouragement to those of us in the “wilderness”. You and your family are in my prayers.
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What gracious words from a loving wife. It sounds like Michael is becoming “Jesus Shaped”…just what he wanted.
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Don’t feel selfish. Its clear you love Michael as a cherished brother as much as his writings resonate with your soul. I pray for the Spencer family as well. I’d like to give Michael a big, long hug.
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I pray that God will shepherd Michael to himself even though he walks through the valley of the shadow of death… I pray that he would fear no evil… that Christ’s would comfort him with his rod and staff… I pray that he would know that his Lord has prepared a table before him even in the presence of his enemies and that his cup would overflow…I pray that he would know that surely goodness and mercy will follow him all the rest of the days of his life.
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Dear Michael and Denise,
Though I have known Michael for only a few months via the internet, my heart is so very sad. To the casual observer of my grief, the pain would not be understandable, for Michael is a new “internet acquaintance”.
In these few short months, you, Michael, have become very dear to me, as a pastor or long time friend might be, for you have encouraged me, have strengthened me, and have helped me remember to turn my eyes upon Jesus and look full in his wonderful face.
So I and others and you, Michael, Denise, and your children, will do that now, and the things of this earth, the sadness, the grief, the loneliness, the confusion, will all grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.
May the God of all comfort and grace keep your hearts and minds right now this very moment and every day to come.
With much love,
Wanda
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I don’t post much, but I wanted to say I have enjoyed reading!
My prayers and thoughts are with all of you during this hard journey. May God pour blessings upon you all.
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Michael,
I am a friend of Wyman Richardson and have seen him post about your ministry many times.
I just want you to know that my son asked, at dinner last night, that we pray for you. He’s 16 and has followed your blog for some time.
Thanks for your faithfulness to our Lord and for the example that you are at this time. I lift you and your family up, knowing that His grace will be sufficient.
My mother died at age 53 when I was 24 years old and it hurt me immensely, but I knew then and know now that she entered into Jesus’ presence. For this I am eternally grateful.
I never understood her passing at such an early age, she was such a wonderful person and had touched so many people. But I trust in God’s providence even when it hurts. I am now 51 and look forward to the day when I will be united with her. We can talk about all the years that have passed and I trust, at that time, it will all make sense.
I write this with tears knowing your pain, but knowing also the peace that God gives at times like this. You are in our thoughts and prayers. God bless.
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Dear Michael, Denise, Noel and Clay,
Our prayers are with you as the Lord guides you through the valley of the shadow of death.
Thank you for your ministry to many, many souls.
Pax Christi,
Allan Schwarb
Chesterfield, MO
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I cannot express in words what my heart feels at this moment. Deep gratitude to Michael, deep sadness about this news… words are simply not adequate. I love you, Michael, my brother in Christ. I am praying for you, Denise, and your children.
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Thank you, Mike.
May God strengthen you as you return to Him and continue to bless many people through your work.
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I have to say that I read your update, Denise, with tears in my eyes. I have rarely commented on Michael s blog, but nevertheless his journey, so eloquently shared, into the ‘evangelical wilderness’ has been a great encouragement to me and my family. In your husband I found a man who wasn’t just sharing his own theological two cents put inviting us into his own experience, highs and lows, with Christ and His Church. I am incredibly touched. I love and appreciate Michael more than I know how to say. Thank you both so much , God bless, we’re praying
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Michael, I’ve been reading your work for at least seven years now and there are few people who have been more influential in broadening and deepening my understanding of Jesus than you. I pray that you will have many more opportunities to teach and inspire until you stand face to face with Christ, and even beyond that most bittersweet day.
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This was the most moving entry I have ever read, braught to tear to my hear and warmth to my heart. I am sorry for your loss but the spirit of God and what you shared here I will carry with me always.
Brenda Meigs
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I too, am saddened by this news. I am so moved to grief, I cannot even shed tears.
The LORD be with you, Michael. Know that you are loved, and that you have done the Lord’s will. Know that Christ has used you, and you are a blessed servant to our Master.
Denise-
my prayers, thoughts, and love are with you and yours.
Kyrie, eleison.
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A great pastor friend of mine passed just last month. Though a little older than Michael, everything else was similar to Mike’s situation. My friend asked us not to pray for his healing, but to pray that God’s will be done, and that he [Dick] would “glorify” God until called home. Though Dick went home to be with Father, his last couple of months were as if watching a miracle happen before my eyes. God answered Dick’s pray to Glorify Him in ways I can only call miraculous. Michael, you have ‘glorified’ God with your life, and I believe you will continue to “glorify Him,” until God’s will is done in your life–whatever His will is. “Oh Lord, deliever a peace to the Spencer family only you can provide.”
fishon [jerry]
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Have only been a reader a short time. I’m saddened to read the update, and know Michael will be sorely missed by those who are his loved ones.God’s grace is sufficient for the task of getting through it all, and it helps us to see if we believe what we say we believe when the time comes. In a short time, Michael will be free from sadness, sickness and any regret at leaving earlier than expected. We can rejoice in that truth, even though sorrowfully. Blessings to you.
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Michael,
I found this blog in the past year and am sad that I did not find it earlier 🙂 It has been a joy to go back and read through your posts and learn, cry, disagree, find that I actually do agree, be moved and most importantly, be pointed to Christ. Thank you for your work, and for your perspective. You have been an instrument in your Master’s hands, brother.
Fr. Ernesto posted a section of text from Lord of the Rings today in his blog post… it seems very appropriate for today:
Pippin: I didn’t think it would end this way.
Gandalf: End? No, the journey doesn’t end here. Death is just another path… One that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass… And then you see it.
Pippin: What? Gandalf?… See what?
Gandalf: White shores… and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.
Pippin: [smiling] Well, that isn’t so bad.
Gandalf: [softly] No… No it isn’t.
Grace and peace to you from our Lord Jesus Christ as you go to join Him in “the far green country.”
Ray
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Amen to this…with tears…you have shepherded my heart these past few years…
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Michael,
I’ve never posted a comment, but have been blessed and enriched by your site for close to a year now. I am so sorry to hear about your prognosis and will pray for you and your family.
I look forward to meeting you someday with our Lord, whether God sees fit to measure your remaining journey here in months or years.
Because of Him,
Jon
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Grief…overwhelming grief! I thank you fou opening up the recesses of my brain to hear things so differently. Thank you fou that. You have inspired in me courage to not fear “being thrownout of the synagogue”but rather to remain in the light. Thank you.
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Michael,
I have never commented here before but I’m a long-time reader (since 2006). When I first found your blog I was sick of the hypocrisy I found in the evangelical church and had actually left. Your writing helped me see that not all Christians were like the ones I knew. After suffering from depression and getting the “you just don’t pray enough” response, your essays were a godsend.
God used you in my life to lead me to him. Thank you for writing from your heart.
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I lament, for over the last few years I feel that I know Michael better than I know the people at church, although we have never met.
I read this from G.K. Chesterton’s Orthodoxy at lunch:
Life (according to the faith), is very like a serial story in a magazine : life ends with a promise (or menace) “to be continued in our nextâ€. Also, with a noble vulgarity, life imitates the serial and leaves off at the exciting moment. For death is distinctly an exciting moment.
Death is not the final gasp; if it were then it would represent failure. And it is not the mere culmination of a life well lived, for then it would be a noble thing followed by even greater sorrow for the loss. Death is the part where the screen grows dark and the letters at the bottom say “to be continued…â€
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Unspeakable sadness in reading the update. Again, we offer our love. Nothing else to offer. Love you, Michael.
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I discovered Michael’s blog a little over a year ago when I was searching for answers to many of the issues Michael was raising for discussion daily. What a difference it has made in the understanding of my faith. Recently, Chaplain Mike reposted Michael’s article about assurance which is a real problem for me. It brought to mind the old song “Blessed Assurance” and the words of the song from my childhood filled my heart. Although not where I want to be yet, because of Michael, I can sing that song with much more conviction than in the past. I pray for God’s blessings and the comfort of the Holy Spirit as Michael and his family travel this road together.
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My prayers are with you. God has used Michael to liberate my Christianity into the freedom and joy that God desires for each one of us.
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Denise,
I have walked the same journey as you. My wife was diagnosed just before Thanksgiving in 2002 with stage 4 paritaneel cancer. That is the same cancer as mesothelioma but in the abdomen. No cure known. We were told she would not be alive more than 24 months. She lasted 18. It is a journey I could not wish upon the worst of mankind.
She too seemed to grow in faith as she progressed. It was amazing to see the strength of spirit God gave her to get through.
After she passed I was asked by many at my church how I got through the whole ordeal. My answer was simple. Every day we did what had to be done. One step, one day at time. My wife was dying. As her husband I helped her live and as her husband I helped her die. It was the least I could do for the person who had loved and cherished me for 26 years.
Tim
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Michael,
I’ve read you blog for many years, but have never commented until now. I’d always wanted to thank you for how you’ve brought new life to my relationship with Jesus, filling me with hope and an honest spirituality I can embrace with integrity. I should also note that my spiritual transformation, in many ways attributed to your writing ministry, is a major reason how I grew to embrace and love the faith tradition of the woman who just became my fiancee. You’re in large part the reason I found my future wife! Thank you Michael!
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When I was a boy, I found I had two conflicting emotions. My relatives would come to visit us. When they would leave to return home, I would feel abandoned, left behind.
When we would visit them, and leave, I would have the journey home to look forward to.
My first prayer will be for the soul of Michael as he faces his Lord. My second prayer will be for Mrs Spencer who is left behind and will suffer the loneliness that comes with that state. I’ve said both of those prayers and will add both of them to my daily prayer.
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Dear Michael and Family,
I am so very saddened to hear of this latest update. I am so very sorry for this sad news. I pray for all of you daily.
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This Lutheran is mighty grateful for what Michael has accomplished in 53 years. So many times the Lord has used him, and even this blog in his absence, to speak to me. I love the honesty, the debate, the camaraderie. Michael and family, I pray for you every night. Just know that you all have done more for the cause of Christ than most of us can dream of doing. Thank you.
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I’m so sorry…I’m crying over this news…and I’m ashamed that much of it is selfish as I miss your frequent writing and voice so much already. I know that you (Michael) are going home…, perhaps sooner than you expected and your words of wisdom and truth will be taken from us. I keep you in my prayers. I’ve learned and grown so, so much reading your posts…I can’t express how much they mean to me.
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I’ve read your blog from time to time, am very saddened by this news. But I know you will have the joy of the Lord, in seeing Him face to face. My prayers are with you, may angels surround you. In His love.
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I want to cry, reading this update. Prayers will continue to be lifted up to you both as Mike’s eternal life journey begins to transition from soul-in-body to soul-in-heaven.
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Michael & Denise, my work as a hospice chaplain is a profession you may become familiar with in the coming months, though all of us continue to pray for healing here & now. None of the families I work with want to *be* there, but I will testify that those who cling to the Lord and to loving one another most evidence Christ individually and corporately. I pray you will be blessed richly during this time, learning how precious it is to live life fully today, and how precious it is to love one another deeply. May your faith and hope in our Lord, Jesus Christ, and in the promise of our resurrection in Christ burn brighter and brighter each day. May the Lord provide you with excellent caregivers to support you in this journey, who will walk with you through all the facets of medical, emotional, family and spiritual needs that arise. And, may your local Body of Christ enfold you, support you, give you respite as you need it, magnify the love you have for one another with theirs, all to the glory of God.
I was with a family last night and we prayed together over their mother before her body was taken from her home. 1 Cor. 15:35-58 is the scripture which I read, with their permission: “What I am saying, brothers and sisters, is this: flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Listen, I will tell you a mystery! We will not all die, but we will be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. …When this perishable body puts on imperishability and this mortal body puts on immortality, then the saying that is written will be fulfilled: ‘Death has been swallowed up in victory. Where O Death, is your victory? Where, O Death is your sting?’ The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ…” One of the family members burst out with a “Hallelujah!!”, mid-reading. May your faith be realized through your journey, now and always, on this journey every single one of us will take one day. What we sow does not come to life unless it dies – may we all strive to sow our lives as well, as honestly, as humbly, conforming to Christ, each day.
Thank you for your ministry to all of us, Michael and Denise. As you are together in life, so I see the Internet Monk ministry as the ministry of two-joined-as-one. May you both love your children well, with all your hearts, and may the Spirit of the Lord minister to them as to you both.
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Like others I only recently found Michael’s site, he has had the single biggest impact on me of any single person.
My heart is filled with sadness and my eyes with tears, all I can say is thank you for all you have done.
May God’s grace and peace be with you both at this time.
-Paul-
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This simply makes me sad. I have read this blog for the past few years, years which have not been good for me, but I usually found something to help here. God bless you Michael and family. You are an inspiration to so many whom you have never met.
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Michael’s writing has been a good friend to me in the midst of my own frustrations and spiritual wanderings. Thank you for sharing so much of your self.
Grace and peace be with you and yours brother.
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I’m a long time reader (and fellow colorectal cancer patient) who discovered Michael’s writings about 5 years ago. He’s been a daily read for me ever since. Michael’s “post-evangelical” voice is something the church needs to hear, and his honesty about depression, doubt, and faith is always inspiring. My prayers go out to you and your family.
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Honesty. Sadly so rare today. What a breath of fresh air Michael’s comments have been.
Thank you.
You are being prayed for.
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This website has been such a blessing to me. Michael’s writings have given voice and answer to the questions I have struggled and wrestled with. It gave me permission to ask the tougher questions, and to know without doubt that God still loves me. I am forever thankful and changed. Praying for peace for the entire family during this time. With love, Natasha
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I am so sorry to hear this, as Michael’s writing has blessed many. May all of you continue to know God’s grace in all ways.
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May the Power of His Presence surround you and your family, with peace and the warmth
of His Love.
LOVE YOU BROTHER!
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I’ve been praying for y’all daily here in Oxford, England, and will keep doing so. A Mass will be offered for Michael at the Oxford University Catholic Chaplaincy.
You’ve run a heck of a race. Well done.
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Michael & Denise,
I love you both so much. We believers are family, and we know there will come a time when we’re all together. I can’t wait to meet Michael.
I have known a few like Michael, and I always wonder what it feels like to know that God has sent you to help us in this life. It’s easy to be distracted by the things of the world. I do know that our tears will be for ourselves and our loss. Michael, however, will be with our Lord. There will be no more sorrow in His heart.
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Know you are loved.
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I’m at a loss for words…I have loved the IMonk for several years and He has helped open my eyes to grace and freedom in Christ that I have never known. Sending you hugs and much love from this corner of Texas…
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you will be in our prayers – Micheal your writing has been an inspiration for me as I try to walk close to God on this journey – I can’t wait to read you’re book. peace be with you & you’re family. This is a very strange thing to me because this is the only blog site that I ever felt encouraged enough to post to. I feel like I know your life story but you are still a stranger in this world, but a brother in the family of God. your work has touched so many lives, including mine threw your writing. I’m sure you will continue to be a light for Christ in this trying time. peace in Christ
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our prayers with you and Mike-peace
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I just want to express my thanks for Michael’s life and my sadness at this news. May God’s peace be with you all.
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Michael’s attitudes and his complete honesty, as well as his loving attitude have been a true example of both Christian scholarship and Christian charity.
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I don’t even know what to say. I’m sorry for the prognosis and Michael’s suffering. Peace be with you all. Thank you, Michael, for being a voice of sanity in the midst of a weird evangelical world. Thank you for your faithfulness. Our family’s prayers for you will continue.
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Will pray for Micheal and your family. May God use this time of suffering for His Glory. For we consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us (Romans 8:18).
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May the God who lives in the midst of our suffering, be very present…may he love and comfort you all. Our family’s deepest prayers are with you.
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This is one of those situations for which there are no adequate words in English (or any other language) to completely convey our thoughts. Be assured that you and your family are in our prayers. May God grant you grace and peace.
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Though I don’t comment here often, iMonk’s writings have been an inspiration and at times precisely the rebuke I needed for the direction my life and thoughts were taking. I will dearly miss the indirect shepherding he provided my life, and hope that this site will remain online so I can benefit from archives of his often scathing wit and wisdom in the future.
Past that, words fail me in expressing my sense of impending loss. The world will be poorer for having lost Michael Spencer, and heaven will grow that much the richer.
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The only thing to say, is the most important thing: we’re praying for grace, mercy and peace.
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I am so very sorry to hear this news. I have not always agreed with Michael, but I have always been challenged in my thinking, over many years, reading this website. May God give Michael and his family the comfort that only He can provide. In Christian love, SLF
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Thank you for passing this on. Love and solemn solace are my prayers for all of us, now.
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Michael and Denise:
God bless both of you. I stumbled on to the Internet Monk a year or so ago and I have been richly blessed by Michael’s wisdom, Godliness, honesty and humility. I look forward to meeting you in heaven.
Tom
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This is truly sad news and like everyone here my heart goes out to you, MIchael, and to Denise, to your kids and your friends.
But I won’t pity you, dear brother, because though you suffer now, you sit on heaven’s doorstep. Stay firm in the faith and keep your eyes on the coming reward
“He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.” – 1 Cor. 1:8-9
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iMonk,
I’ve never posted here before. Seems almost a day late, now, but anyway.
Back in 2004, you wrote the essay “When I am Weak”. Back in 2007, I read it.
To say that it saved my life is only a very minor exaggeration. I have tried to speak in a similar fashion ever since. I do not always succeed. But our God is gracious.
Bless you, brother, from a young SBCer. The Word of the Lord does not return void.
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Michael and Denise,
Every Sunday when the people of St. Thomas in-the-Fields Anglican Church in Gibsonia PA gather for the Eucharist, we lift you and your family up in our prayers. The two of you have been a source of inspiration, consolation, and challenge to me and my ministry for more than four years, and nothing either of you has written has been anything but Light and Truth. May the Lord give you every assurance of His Presence, and may He drive all bodily pain and all distress and anxiety of soul and spirit far from you. And may He grant the peace which passes all understanding.
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Michael, We did not cross paths online as often as I would have liked. But I always found you to be a gentleman and a lover of Christ. May his presence be sweet to you at this time. May he comfort and strengthen you. May you know joy in the midst of real sorrow. And may your wife and family know all this too. As I write this I thank God for the resurrection of Jesus which means that we have a hope even in the face of news like this. God richly bless you.
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May God be with all of you at this terrible time. We are praying for you.
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2 Corinthians 4:16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. 17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.
Romans 8:18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
I read about your situation on PJ Miller’s blog. Death is the great separator, but for those of us who BELIEVE it is only temporary. (We’ve lost 2 kids.)
Have peace in Christ.
Praying…
M’Kayla
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My prayers are with you and your family.
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I’m deeply saddened that your diagnosis is terminal. I will continue to lift up you and Denise thru this time. I will continue to pray for God’s healing presence that is beyond us, and also, that he will walk with you down whatever road he has prepared for you.
You have been a friend and mentor thru a difficult season in my life the past two years.
Holy Spirit come…
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I met Michael two years ago. He has helped put into words thoughts I have had, challenged my thinking, and encouraged me to love Jesus more. I am thankful for his life and work. I am thankful that we will get to have him a little while longer. I am thankful for his friends and family that are carrying him these days. Thank you for your love demonstrated in service.
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Heavy hearts everywhere. Michael has impacted more Christian leaders than he’ll ever know. I wonder how many pastors around the world are sitting in their church office, like me today, shedding tears in secret over this news.
May God comfort and encourage Denise, Michael and family as Michael has encouraged and brought us hope and encouragement over the past years. You are surrounded by many prayers in the days ahead.
Finish the race strong and prepare to receive the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus!
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Mike and Denise, Since my move from eastern KY we’ve lost touch with you and did not know about your illness. Our prayers remember all of you as the Lord continues to work out his will in your lives. I still treasure those days at OBI when you asked me to preach. Thankful for all you’ve done for the Lord, the lives influenced and the testimony of faith you continue to give.
Bill and Rebecca Whittaker
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For Michael to run his race so strongly and faithfully, even at this stage of his illness, is going to bless so many people for so many years to come. God will be glorified, and rather than holding God in contempt, Michael has chosen to be a vessel for demonstrating that glory. As always, I am in awe of this godly man, and amply challenged to live my own life in such a way that pleases God.
God bless you all, come what may.
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Thank you for the update. No words can really express how sorry I am that you are going through this. Michael, Denise and family: Hang in there, Spencers. May the peace of Christ be with you always.
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The website I have referenced is not mine, but it belongs to Dr. Roger Sapp. I have a little experience of God’s healing and know others who have seen much, much more. See the prayer request area of Roger’s web site.
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Michael and Denise, Our prayers are with you and your family at this time.
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Amen to all of what Bryan wrote.
Prayers continuing for you and your family, Michael & Denise, from the Eastern side of the church as well.
On Sunday we sang this hymn, an echo of Holy Friday:
Before Thy Cross we bow down, O Master, and Thy Holy Resurrection we glorify.
Dana
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I will be praying for Michael and his family.
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Thank you, Denise, for the update on Michael. Continued prayers for peace, strength, and courage for all the Spencers. Michael, your work has been better than you could possibly know.
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My husband was 54 when he died 9 years ago from cancer. He too fought hard to live and wasn’t ready to die. Two days before his death he told me to get a pad of paper and a pen. He proceeded to give me his entire funeral outline for the pastor to use for his service. The next day he went into a coma. The following day, about 1 hour before he left he used his body to get my attention. I moved to his right side and talked to him and held his hand. He became peaceful then. He was not afraid to go with God, but he wanted me with him. When my mother died 5 years earlier, and then my husband I remember feeling that dying was as holy as being born. It was not frightening. And peace and joy are present.
Death is evil and our consequence for evil. It makes one mad at the Devil and the Fall. But this is all conquered by our Lord, Jesus Christ. And we have great hope and confidence. Our time here is so small in light of eternity. That is where I want to be. Heaven is my home.
God love you, be with you, and bless you with confidence and strength. I am praying for you because it is an emotionally draining time.
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Amen.
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No words, just a sense of loss. Thankful that Mike leaves a legacy both here at this blog and in the forthcoming book. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that God is good but I believe Michael would exhort us to not forget that.
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Denise;
I am so sorry to get your news, more than words can tell. I only came to this website during the past year and have appreciated the wise and life affirming messages it has contained. This blog has helped me to feel a clarity about God’s love for all of us. I have missed your husband’s presence but truly appreciate Chaplain Mike’s stewardship.
The privilege God has given you of caring for Michael is such a painful blessing. Trust God will be there with you both.
Julie
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Prayers from this corner of the world as well. I’ve never met you but appreciate all that you have done and given. Thank you iMonk, may your pain be small and your suffering be short. May God call you home where you can rest peacefully as a good and faithful servant deserves.
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I found this blog very recently, and it gave me hope. Hope is good. I’m still going to hold on to hope (and pray) for a recovery. Also praying for peace and comfort for Michael and his family.
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Your potshots are what are inappropriate. Let it go for now. You can get him another time. Sheesh.
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Amen. Father in heaven thy kingdom come, may your power your grace come to Michael with healing in its wings. Amen
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Denise:
I am so very sorry to hear this news about Michael. He and I go way back and his wit and wisdom have been used by God in my life time and again. I am grateful for him and the gift that he is to the church. I have prayed for your family since hearing the news about cancer and will continue to do so. Please convey my love to him and assure him of my prayers. May his faith be an encouragement to you and your children and may the gospel that he knows, loves and has preached minister sustaining grace to you as you walk this journey together.
In Christ,
tom
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I have no words, only prayers.
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Michael,
I will continue to pray for your healing and your continued faith in this trial.
I have appreciated your voice as one who is unafraid to ask the hard questions, unafraid to be real and vulnerable, and unashamed of his commitment to Jesus. I also appreciate your love for evangelicalism–a love expressed in a desire to see the church be faithful to her husband.
I came across your blog at a time in my life when I was sorting out what I was going to believe. I wanted to stay true to my evangelical roots, but I saw so much of it not “working.” I was drawn to your honesty, candor, and passion. You have helped me sort through my own faith and you have made a lasting impact on my life.
There are no words at a time like this, other than that we serve a God who is too good to be unkind and too wise to make mistakes. You are loved and you are prayed for.
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With all due respect HUG, in this time of sadness and sorrow for Michael and his family your language is very inappropriate to say the least no matter who that is directed towards. No matter what you’ve gone through in your life no Christian is supposed to advocate any type of violent hostility towards those who you disagree with, especially other Christians. Enmity and strife are two works of the flesh that Paul talked about in Galatians 5:20.
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“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing” (2 Timothy 4:7-8, ESV).
That is for you Michael. Thank you for your online ministry that has helped many of us have our eyes opened and our self-assuredness shaken for our own spiritual good.
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Michael you have encouraged me so much while I have been struggling. I just want to say thank you! I will continue to pray for you and Denise!
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Yes, agreeing with Michelle….
I love you IMonk.
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This update is painful to read but at the same time, I’ve known too many people who lasted beyond what the doctors gave them. My wife was told 20 years ago that she had six months (brain tumor). She’s still kicking. I’m holding out for some more time for our beloved Monk. In any case, Michael, know that your work and ministry has affected others profoundly in a good way.
Blessings,
Jim K.
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I offer my prayers for you.
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. I wish we all could donate Michael years from our lives.
couldn’t say it any better than that; I would have given him decades.
Greg R
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Denise,
You and Michael and your whole family continue to be a blessing in my life.
My prayers are with you all, now and always.
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I feel like I’ve just been punched in the gut. How come the rain has to fall on the just and the unjust alike? Sometimes, life just doesn’t feel fair. I will continue to hold your whole family up in my prayers. May God’s grace keep you.
John
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I will remember you, and will ask the help of other “prayer warriors”…
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Thanks for the update. I’m praying. I’m sorry.
I do want to say that it was a pleasure meeting Michael at the Advance09 Conference last year. We got to chat for a few minutes and had a good chuckle. It was nice to meet Michael the person.
Peace,
Mark
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I continue to pray for peace of heart, mind, and body for Michael and ask the saints to intercede for him and especially for Denise and the family.
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Praying. Praying some more. Lord, let this cup pass from the Spencer family. Michael’s voice is so needed out here in the wilderness. Thank You so much for this ministry. May the Spencers have more emotional support than they need and more finances than they could possibly use.
This blog is the best ‘church’ I’ve found in a long while.
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Our prayers and our Father are with you and your family.
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Yes, Amen.
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Mike and family, My prayers are with you, may the Lord strengthen you.
Mike
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This is heart breaking news. Thanks for the update and I will continue to pray for Michael and Denise.
Peace
Steve in Toronto
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Michael, I’m so thankful for who you are and what God has done through you. I think you’re going to be pleasantly surprised when you find out just how much He has indeed done. Praying for you and your family. I wish I could do more. Please let us know if we can.
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Amen.
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Denise, you and Michael are both an inspiration. We won’t stop praying.
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I’ve followed Michael’s blog for some time and was saddened like everyone else to hear this latest update, but Michael, you and your family are in my prayers as you prepare to go home. In spite of what cancer is doing to your earthly body, our Savior Jesus will make all things new for you there in the glories of heaven. I pray that Christ bring you the comfort of His cross this Lenten season and fill you with the joy of the resurrection on Easter Sunday. May the peace that comes from the words, “It is finished” and “He is not here; He is risen” dry your tears and fill you with hope for life eternal at your Savior’s side. May the God of all grace uphold and keep you and your family in his tender care now and always.
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I stumbled across this blog about a year ago. As I read the articles, I was so thankful that I had finally found a voice that addressed the realities of the Christian experience. I can assure you, Michael, that your impact on Christianity will not end when you leave this earth. People like me and so many others have remained Christian or had our understanding of Christianity completely transformed due to your teachings. Thank you so much. Shalom.
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May Christ be with and strengthen all of you during this trial.
I am so very sorry.
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Prayers for both iMonk and you, Denise.
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Life is so short. I love you, brother. I’ve never met you, but I will someday in heaven.
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I am very saddened to hear this news, Denise, but I am happy that Michael has been strong “spiritually and emotionally” throughout this ordeal. I know that you have been a great factor in his being able to do that as you have helped him through all this. He is fortunate to have you in his life and we are fortunate to have you both in our lives, even if it is “only” a cyberspace kind of way. Michael’s writings have touched so many of us and will continuing touching people forever. His insistence on focusing on the grace that Jesus has for us is crucial. He wrote once that in the next level of existence we will all find each other and have a great meal together and I I will hold him to that!
I pray daily for the love of Jesus to surround, fill, and strengthen you both.
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ALMIGHTY, everliving God, Maker of mankind, who dost correct those whom thou dost love, and chastise every one whom thou dost receive; We beseech thee to have mercy upon this thy servant visited with thine hand, and to grant that he may take his sickness patiently, and recover his bodily health, if it be thy gracious will; and that, whensoever his soul shall depart from the body, it may be without spot presented unto thee; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
(1928 Book of Common Prayer)
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May you have the grace to suffer well. Love you, iMonk, you and Denise and Noel and Clay.
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I have always LOVED Michael’s deep, and transparent writings. I feel really sad that we will miss him!
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I am crying to hear this update. Thank you for sharing your journey with us, Denise and Michael. Your writing has meant so much to me, Michael. Denise, I know you’ve been the strong woman behind your gifted teacher/writer/husband. May God be pouring out much mercy and kindness on you both as this journey continues. We pray for you daily here at our house.
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I’ve been keeping silent because anything I could say would kill IMonk’s will to live. I lost both my parents to cancer; as a result I’ve become very pessimistic on the subject. IMonk’s current life expectancy of “six months to a year” is the same given my mother in ’75. (She didn’t make it that long.)
Shitfire, this has been one of my favorite blogs, and IMonk’s been one of the few Christians who’s had his head screwed on straight in the middle of the born-again granola bowl of American Evangelicalism. Wretched Urgency, Evangelism Eager to Leave, Why I Am Not YEC, Rush Limbaughization of Christianity — he’s been an island and advocate of sanity in a Christian world so increasingly insane I keep asking “Did I go crazy or did everybody else?” I wanted to see more than one book out there repeating what’s surfaced here, a library shelf giving his insights a wider audience, pulling the pins on the Holy Hand Grenades stuffed up too many Christian butts.
And if any Truly Reformed starts gloating about this or shooting off his mouth, you are hereby predestined to punch him in the throat and/or push him down the nearest flight of stairs. I’ve seen way too much Christian gloating over an “enemy’s” death.
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Father God:
I echo my brother’s prayer and ask You to take this away from Michael. May Your will be done.
In Jesus’ name.
Amen.
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my thought and prayers are lifted to the Spencer family at this time. I am thankful for Micheal’s words and I pray that each of you can have “moments that remain ” in the months ahead.
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I echo Trey’s thoughts here and thank you, Michael, for everything you offer as a voice of unwavering faith. I raise prayers and a cold glass of ginger ale for you and yours!
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I am praying for Michael. He has been such a blessing to me through his writings over the past few years. I am so sad to hear this and I know that God heals – we will keep asking God to do just that. But I also praise God that He is revealing Himself through Michael even as he suffers. We will continue to look to Christ and pray for Michael and his family.
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Michael,
I wanted to say thank you for your transparency. i honestly have not been on your page in probably 3-4 years, but when I first started to ask questions and begin a discontent with “church as it oughtta be” your words and your wrestling left me with a comfort that my answers did not rest with another gospel, but that somehow, in my early struggles, to press in further to the gospel to find what my heart ached for. You were a key component early on that God used to capture my mind before it wandered. Thank you. I am grief stricken for you and for your family, and yet as in my own reflection, encouraged by the fact that your mind has also been captured. I am grateful that even and especially now, you have not turned to another gospel, even one that might seem close to the real thing, but that you have pressed in further. Praying that you can somehow count it joy, brother. Thank you for your ministry.
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to Mike and his family
Mike, we have never talked or met, but your writings have strongly affected me. You have given me the words and voice to articulate some things I had always felt about my faith and wilderness the chuch had become to me.
Rob
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Grace to you all, from God our father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
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I have not joined in the conversation here very often but I have read silently in the background. Michael has given me much to ponder and many words of wisdom. I am so sorry to hear this. Blessing on you and your family. You are loved.
Mark
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Denise,
Thank you for this update. May God continually grant you and Michael the grace to persevere faithfully and heroically, through this cross you now carry, and provide all your needs. May the prayers of all the saints lift you up and hold you in the assurance of His love.
Always grateful for Michael’s humility, his love for Christ, and his self-giving sacrifice for God’s people.
In the peace of Christ,
– Bryan
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I am so, so sorry to hear this. Jesus, please be with Michael and his family.
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As Michael Jones says this news isn’t surprising but underlines the bittersweetness of a saint’s mortality. We have all the hope of the gospel and the promise of eternal life, but we also have the pain of parting and so for Denise and for those who are closest to Michael this is bound to be sad. Since I first came across the Internet Monk years ago I have greatly enjoyed, been challenged by, and shouted “rubbish” at Michael but always with the appreciation that here is a thoroughly genuine man. One of the remarkable things about Michael’s writing for me has been that his world and my world are very different and yet the things that cause the questions and the glimpses of answers that God provides are the same. My prayer will be that in the coming days Michael my yet provide us with a few more gems, that his passing into glory will be peaceful and that his family will know the peace which the world cannot give, and which the world cannot take away.
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This blog has meant a lot to my husband and me. We just wanted you to know that a couple in Louisville whom you’ve never before met but whose lives you have touched will be praying for you. May God richly bless you and your family.
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I am so sorry to hear this, more than words can adequately express. I only came to this website in the past year and have enjoyed the thought-provoking and challenging messages I have heard from Michael. More than enjoyed: they have changed me.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Laura
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I am so sorry to hear this. My prayers are with him and his family.
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IM: praying (and will continue) for a miracle, as well as peace and strength…
Thanks for all the words here the past years… …you’ve touched so many.
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Let me add my voice to all the others to express how sorry I am that you have these hard times ahead of you. I don’t think there’s any doubt that Michael’s words will live on long after he’s gone to the Lord, and that his work will continue. May God grant you peace over the next few months.
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I’m very sorry to hear this news. May God be with all of you in this time of trouble.
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*sigh*
This is just devastating news for me. I’m so sorry. I feel selfish in that I feel like I’m losing one of those few articulate voices that get where I’m at spiritually…but more important than that is that Michael is a husband and father and his family would do almost anything to have gotten better news and more time than is being offered.
Lord, I pray that this cup would pass from Michael and his family. But ultimately may Your will be accomplished and your name be glorified through every part of this tough, tough journey. Grant them all peace and comfort and strength and a real, unmistakable sense of your presence and love for them. Amen.
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May God give grace. And peace. Thankful and sobered.
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Praying for abundant grace and strength so that Michael may continue to bear his cross faithfully to the end and may eventually find rest and peace in the loving arms of his Savior.
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Michael,
I have never communicated with you but your writings have and will continue to mean a great deal to me. I am deeply saddened by these events. Thank you for all that you have done for me.
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I suspect that 25 years from now thousands upon thousands (perhaps millions?) of us will look back on all this — Michael’s life, death and book — as profoundly life altering and spiritual-journey defining. This is all weighty, weighty stuff.
Prayers.
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Abba, grant your son, Michael, grace as he travels this final part of his journey. Give him strength, and keep him pain free. Strengthen his faith as you draw him to yourself. Give the comfort that only you can give to Denise, Noel, and Clay. Hold them in your arms and give them your grace and peace.
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Thanks for the update. I don’t anyone here will be surprised with the news. Give our love to the family. We miss Michael’s presence here and our grieving began many months ago. Like all parts of the Fall of Adam . . . cancer sucks. I wish we all could donate Michael years from our lives.
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