Saturday Ramblings 1.21.12

Posted byChaplainmikePosted inJeff Dunn, Saturday Ramblings

Your Rambler is in a bad mood today. I’m tired. I got two hours’ sleep after work Thursday night, then drove to Missouri to see my son graduate from Army Transportation School, then drove back home, only to have him want me to go look at a car with him. Which I am normally glad to do, but did I mention the two hours’ sleep? And ten hours on the road? And then the Synonymous Rambler and I have been going round and round on something. I think I’m wrong and at fault, but then I almost always think I’m wrong. (Is it wrong to be right once in a while? And if I say I’m wrong and I really was wrong, does that make me right?) And it’s gray and cold outside. If I wanted that I’d move back to Ohio. So I’m not a happy Rambler right now. Perhaps by the time Saturday actually rolls around I’ll be Happy, but right now on Friday night, I’m Grumpy with a capital G. Is it ok if we just get to rambling?

I am aware of the offices of apostle, prophet, evangelist, pastor and teacher. What I didn’t know about was the office of evangelical political power broker.  Cindy Costa of South Carolina apparently is one. She says she engages in this sport because of her “evangelical faith.” Meanwhile, a confab of conservative evangelicals (that phrase could open another can of gummy worms, but let’s not and say we did) met at a ranch near Houston last weekend to decide which presidential candidate should be the evangelical choice. Excuse me, which REPUBLICAN presidential candidate should be the choice among evangelicals. I suppose I should be grateful. After all, if they can come up with who my choice should be, that saves me the time and trouble of thinking for myself.

And then there is the all-important consideration of what Joel Osteen thinks about one particular candidate.

Apparently the number of Mexicans and Latin Americans crossing the border to the United States has dropped dramatically in the last few years. You know, all of those foreigners who some pastors and religious speakers love to shout need to be sent back to their own countries. Seems it is easier to find a good paying job with decent benefits in Mexico than it is in the U.S. right now. (How soon before middle managers, real estate sales reps and drummers are crossing from the U.S. of A. to Mexico to find jobs?) But there is an area of ministry being hit hard by this. Hispanic ministries are really feeling the pinch. How do you say “ironic” en Espanol?

We talked earlier this week about some of the clowns in the evangelical traveling circus. And as we know, there are happy clowns who make you laugh, and mean clowns who scare the living Hello Kitty out of you. Here is the latest on one of these evil clowns. This story is not for the weak of heart—or weak of stomach, for that matter.

I once heard a president of Christian university lament that there are no good Christian hand signals to share with other drivers—and I still laugh at that to this day (but not today, ’cause I’m in a bad mood—remember?). Yet First Lady and eagle-eyed rambler Denise Spencer came across this hand gesture sure to encourage many to repent and believe. “Threethrows”?  Ok, your guess as to how soon we will see t-shirts with this logo on them being worn by the latest teeny-bopper pseudo-Christian heartthrobs? And in your local Christian junk bookstore, of course.

Who said you can’t trust Wikipedia? The Vatican does. It relied on the user-generated text from the online research tool to compile biographies of 22 men selected as cardinals on January 6. What, did someone lose the key to the Vatican Library, only the most comprehensive research center in the world? And I suppose no new cardinals were appointed on Wednesday when Wikipedia went dark to protest an internet pirate bill before Congress …

Boys will be boys, except when it comes to theology. Matt Chandler and Steven Furtick are not getting along—still. Since this is my column, I can pick a side here. Chandler is a good teacher who seems uncomfortable that so many people now flock to hear him. For Furtick, see Clowns, Evangelical.

Oh my. Seems Ed and Lisa Young’s sexperiment marketing ploy of spending 24 hours in a bed on the roof of their Dallas-area church didn’t go all that well. They didn’t count on that Lucky Old Sun being so bright and they hurt their eyes. Who would have thought that the sun would be bright in Texas? Does anyone else have the Springsteen song “Blinded By The Light” stuck in their head now? (Yes, The Boss wrote that song. Manfred Mann’s Earth Band simply made it a million-seller. And the words are “revved up like a deuce,” ok? Trust me on this.)

Lutheran seminaries are the coolest! Don’t believe me? Guess who is a student at Concordia in St. Louis? See? Lutherans rock.

Wondering what movie to get from Redbox this weekend? Check out Christianity Today’s list of the Top Ten Redeeming Movies of 2011.

Ok, let’s see if I can chase away a little bit of the gloom hanging over me with this last story …

How did you celebrate Winnie The Pooh Day this year? It was on Wednesday. What? You missed it? Well, you can make up for it today by sharing who your favorite character is from the Hundred Acre Woods and why. Ready? Pencils down. Pass your papers to the right.

Happy Birthday was sung this last week to Hal Roach (creator of The Little Rascals); Andy Rooney; Faye Dunaway; Carl “Apollo Creed” Weathers; Huddy William “Leadbelly” Ledbetter; Lisa Lisa (Velez); Drew Brees; Al Capone; Vidal Sassoon; James Earl Jones; Muhammad Ali; Mick Taylor; Cary Grant; Danny Kaye; Oliver Hardy; Janis Joplin; Dolly Parton; Robert Palmer; and Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin.

Ok, if I’m going to have the blues, then we ought to cut to the chase and hear from the greatest female blues singer—oh, forget the “female” part—the greatest blues singer of them all. I hope Janis gets to lead a song or two in heaven. Enjoy.

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uG2gYE5KOs&feature=related’%5D

 

 

84 thoughts on “Saturday Ramblings 1.21.12”

  2. You are right, no one answers to you but you….same for all of us.

    That said, false prophets and bad theology need to named and noted. However pure the motives of these men, they are mis-representing the Words of the Lord and leading people astray.

    And for that THEY will have to give an account.

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  3. Funny, I was on a silent retreat from Friday until yesterday, and somehow this song was stuck in my mind most of the weekend…..

    Probably in context of giving the Lord pieces instead of my whole heart, but still…listening to Janis in my head when I hadn’t thought of the song in years……funny, no?

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  4. I’m with you on turning worship into a show. It can happen in all styles. However, none of those things inherently MUST distract from the gospel: It is possible for all of them to serve in a way that points to it. The “worship circus” is indeed frustrating, and the high levels of peer pressure serve only to superimpose a mediocrity straightjacket, rather than the promised innovation. That being said, there is still a place for music and the arts in worship, regardless of genre/style. How do we draw the line between what distracts from the gospel and what points to it? I think Augustine got it right: He said something alongs the lines of, if I hear a singer and I am more moved by the sound of the voice than the truth being sung, it would be better not to hear the singer. Truth (text) must be the dominating focus, with the music serving as a container to convey it. There’s no reason this can’t be done by a rock star in a contemporary LCMS service (despite the lack of probability).

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  5. OK Chaplain, I agree with your motivations.

    This is just my opinion, but if I were in your position I’d want to be certain (vice hoping) I was hearing God’s Spirit accurately. Messiah said, “But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

    God speed.

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  9. I shouldn’t be surprised that my earlier comment is missing. Those were tough questions, huh?

    Fortunately, Chaplain Mike responded to my other post here:

    https://internetmonk.com/archive/theyre-not-all-clowns/comment-page-1#comment-623442

    The bottom line is this: if bloggers at internetmonk.com are determined to castigate their brothers and sisters in public without regard to Messiah’s specific instructions, they won’t answer to me.

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  12. God gave me a revelation. He wants me to man up AND BE A MAN, train MMA and then go and beat the shit out of Mark Driscoll. I guess since God’s telling me I better obey!! 😀 Oh well for the glory of God!!! 😛

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  14. I’m disappointed Transformers III didn’t make it? I’m sure The Adjustment Bureau didn’t make it into John Piper’s movie collection either…. 😛

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  15. which would just confuse Chicagoans who would be wondering which church was rich enough to have one on Lake Shore Drive!

    Sorry, Steve, if I jumped the gun at your misspell. I simply don’t like name calling, unless it’s against targets who should be name called. Like Nazis–but then is there a worst word you can call them than Nazis?

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  17. Camus makes more sense all the time: one must imagine Sisyphus as happy, just like Pooh going in circles. Believing that there is an end to the post-evangelial wilderness may be madness.

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  18. Ah, yes, thank you, Martha, I thought that “something like” was probably stretching it a bit in sparing sensitivities.. Glad to learn about Harvey Smith. Perhaps the Evangelical version will become known as the Oswold Smith or even the Smith Wigglesworth.

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  19. Miguel:

    I posted a response that disappeared after hitting “submit”.

    Short version: to me, anything that turns worship into a show, be it contemporary worship, organ solos, or bell choir concerts, is adiaphora (indifferent things) that take attention away from the gospel. In the historical context, adiaphora was the stuff that the Catholic church tried to re-impose on the German church after the reformation. Lutherans protested, leading to the statement in the Articles of Concord regarding adiaphora. These days, it seems adiaphora is the worship circus which is being forced on the church just like the authoritarianism of the past, but in a more subtle way, like peer pressure (e.g. “not your grandparents Lutheran church”). Whether or not one can contribute his or her juggling talents to the worship circus seems secondary (sure they can, but why?).

    As far as what’s next? Still working on that. It seems fitting to celebrate Winnie the Pooh, because like Pooh I feel like I have been going in circles after Hephalumps in the post-evangelical wilderness for the past five years with no end in sight.

    No offense meant regarding TSO. I know many who like them.

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  20. Oops. Sorry if my comment was inappropiate.
    It’s from a subway billboard. It was for a website that gave song lyrics. On the billboard was several variations of possible lyrics from that particular line of ‘Binded by the Light’, one them being the one I wrote. I thought it was totally hilarious. but I see that, without context, it’s just crude.

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  21. cermak, having make dumb typing errors a-plenty myself, I don’t think Steve meant to say “Morons”, he just missed out an “m” when typing “Mormons”.

    Maybe for safety’s sake, we should agree to refer to them as LDS. (Although, come to think of it, that could lead to calling them the LSD Church).

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  22. If you wouldn’t want Atheists or Wiccans (or whoever) to refer to the Creton Church, then I don’t think it’s wise to refer to the LDS church as the Morons.

    The LDS church does have a unique take on Christology, I do understand that, but it does amuse me to hear people that wouldn’t recognize the Nicean creed if it bit them try to explain the oddness of LDS Christology.

    Honestly, I have heard people who claim to be Christians (non-denom) explain to me that Jesus was human while on earth and Divine after the resurrection. I have heard people (who claim to be Catholic) explain to me that Jesus and God were two different Gods(??!). In that context, the LDS Christology doesn’t seem that danged odd.

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  23. Tends to be my attitude toward Joel too. While yes, he’s theologically shallow, I have seen no signs that his institution is actually harmful on an individual level. Sure, he might get hopes up that the Divine really does want to bless people, but I’ve seen few signs of wanting to control his attenders’ lives. In that regard, I think he’s a lot less harmful than a lot of “pastors”.

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  24. I always thought it was “revved up like il duce”, why I decided to drag Mussolini into the song…I don’t know.

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  25. Could Osteen’s theology more resemble Moron theology than historic orthodox Christian? If so, then that explains Osteen’s statement. I can’t see Osteen reciting any of the three historic creeds of the Christian faith nor would I expect a Moron to do the same.

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  26. The “Harvey Smith” (as the gesture became known for a while in the 1970s after the showjumper Harvey Smith made that gesture towards the judges after jumping the winning round at Hickstead) means something a little stronger than “Up yours” – more like “F(fill in the rest yourselves) off” or “F- you”.

    No, not dragging this comment thread into the gutter at all 🙂

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  27. I always heard it as “Wrapped up in confusion like a roller in the night”, so that’s completely off the mark as far as the original lyrics.

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  29. Daisey, some of us Catholic ladies do a bit of unseemly drooling over the Swiss Guards. Young, single, Catholic men, in those uniforms, with halberds, and the tradition of dying for the Pope (“Its first, and most significant, hostile engagement was on May 6, 1527 when 147 of the 189 Guards, including their commander, died fighting the troops of Holy Roman Emperor Charles V in the stand of the Swiss Guard during the Sack of Rome in order to allow Clement VII to escape through the Passetto di Borgo, escorted by the other 40 guards”)? Mark, Driscoll, this is manliness in action! 😉

    They celebrated their 500th anniversary in 2006, and here’s a video about the swearing-in of new recruits in 2008.

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  30. Yep. Bob Keeshan was the original Clarabell. Two other gentlemen followed in his wake during the life of the program, but they were just clowning around.

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  32. Osteen essentially said “Romney’s faith in Jesus is like mine….” Well, dang it, I don’t know if I’d bother contending that one. He might well be right.

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  33. That is hardly fair: He has obviously continued his secular vocation as a rock star without using it as a platform for pushing dogma. Should professional musicians not volunteer at their local congregation? And what’s wrong with TSO? We did their carol of the bells for the prelude this Christmas.

    My concern is the inhumane levels of cheese. His church called their contemporary service MegaLIFE! Gag me.

    The LCMS still teaches the Table of Duties, at least in my circles. Purpose Driven Lutheranism isn’t really getting off the ground too much, mostly because our attempts to mimic evangelical trends come off as hopelessly lame. So… where do you go when you drop out of the LCMS?

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  35. Isn’t there already a Jewish hand gesture of blessing indicating the Shema, familiar to all Trekkies as “Live long and Prosper/the Vulcan Salute”?

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  36. Back when Tatted Todd was Big News, several of the anti-Bentley bloggers all claimed Todd was possessed by a demonic spirit, “Emma the Angel” was his Familiar Spirit, etc — it was all supernatural but Satanic.

    During this, my writing partner (the burned-out country preacher) took a look at some of the videos coming out of Lakeland. His conclusion?

    Not angel, not devil, but CON MAN.

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  37. LOL! When I saw “Joplin” in your comment the first thing I though was Scott Joplin (ragtime), which I like by the way, but now I remember it’s Janis Joplin. Yes, it’s good to have other music interests – I’m an organist and have quite a decent passion for the instrument and its music however, one does need balance and a good variety of music is a good thing in both the sacred and the secular and something, admittedly, that I struggle with from time to time – still not much of anything that can top a good pipe organ!

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  38. Concerning the “Christian” hand gesture, in Britain the two-finger salute popularized by Winston Churchill indicating “Victory” is given with the palm turned toward the recipient, or to be technical, gesturee(s). On the contrary, please correct me if I am wrong, the same two finger salute given with the back of the hand toward the receiver might be translated something like “Up Yours!” Especially if given with an energetic upward thrust.

    My question, does the three-finger salute change in meaning if given with the hand reversed, and if so, what might that meaning be? Furthermore, if someone, such as myself, who looks on the Nicene Coagulation as the beginning of the end, is on the receiving end of such well-intentioned gesture, how does one respond?

    I’ve only had a few moments to consider this as I had never heard of this latest entry into bumper-sticker Christianity, but as of now I think I will use the one finger salute in return. No, not THAT one finger salute. Mine will use the extended forefinger with palm turned benevolently outward, tho obviously covered up with my other fingers. I call it the Shema. This will give the initiator the option of interpreting it as One Way or perhaps We’re Number One and we both can go on our merry way with a smug smile plastered on like a, well, bumper sticker.

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  39. If that was the one holding up one finger, there’s an obvious chance for misidentification at a distance.

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  40. Yet First Lady and eagle-eyed rambler Denise Spencer came across this hand gesture sure to encourage many to repent and believe. “Threethrows”?

    Except for the fingers being spread a bit more, “Threethrows” is a direct ripoff of the Boy Scout Oath gesture.

    Ok, your guess as to how soon we will see t-shirts with this logo on them being worn by the latest teeny-bopper pseudo-Christian heartthrobs? And in your local Christian junk bookstore, of course.

    At least it’s better than those Christian Sex Toys we heard about a couple weeks ago.

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  41. anything that has to do with “Todd Bam-Bam Bentley” will be blog fodder on heresy watch blogs & those that simply are pointing out the craziest of the christianese circus clowns performing their goofy form of godliness for their fans…

    i think Bentley was the ‘last straw’ for some of the uber-charismatic/apostolic types that finally distanced themselves from this so-called signs+wonders healer. i remember speaking out about Bentley right before Lakeland on the few theological message forums i frequented back then & even in the more post-modern, let’s-all-get-along venues, i was still chastized for being so vociferously critical…

    since the spotlight is intended to be on Todd & not the poor sap that gets punched, kicked, slapped, etc., there may not be much follow-up or detail about the person on the receiving end of such unconventional faith healing antics…

    Bentley is a religious kook, plain & simple. no need to couch it in anything less simply because he claims to be a Christian. he is a charlatan. a fraud. a wolf in sheep’s clothing perfoming in a religious circus for the clueless…

    Lord, have mercy… 😦

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  42. I was writing it as-heard, from memory.

    Just like how despite the official lyrics sheet, The Clash’s “Rock the Casbah” gets heard “Shari’a don’t like it”.

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  43. Meanwhile, a confab of conservative evangelicals (that phrase could open another can of gummy worms, but let’s not and say we did) met at a ranch near Houston last weekend to decide which presidential candidate should be the evangelical choice. Excuse me, which REPUBLICAN presidential candidate should be the choice among evangelicals.

    And who could that be? (Hint: “NOT THE MORMON! NOT THE MORMON!”)

    And will their announcement begin “Thus Saith The LORD…?”

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  44. As for Joel Osteen, as much as I like to make fun of him, I can’t help but respect him. Offering his prayers to whoever happens to be in office seems far more profound than ‘we gotta take America back!!”. Whatever that’s supposed to mean. Sure he’s theologically illiterate, but he makes no claim to be theological. He just wants to help people, and he’s honest. That means a lot to me.
    I was caught in a Word Faith church in my early CHristian walk, and I’ve seen first hand its destruction and the blatant lies and deceit that occurs. Joel Osteen is not in league with that mess.

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  45. Question:

    Does anyone know what happened to the guy who was punched in the sternum? I’d like to know more about that story.

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  46. About that comment on “Blinded by the Light” — what, we can’t say “douche” at the iMonastery now? And if that’s the case, how are we supposed to discuss Mark Driscoll? 😉

    As far as favorite Pooh characters: Tigger is who I used to try and be, Eeyore is who I naturally am, and Pooh is who I hope to be someday.

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  49. On a couple of levels — that was originally a hand signal used by devout Jews to symbolize the Tetragrammaton (YHWH) so they wouldn’t profane the name of G_d by saying it out loud. Nimoy borrowed it for his own use, and the rest is history.

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  53. Clowns I miss …
    • Clarabelle, whose first and last words were a tearful, “Bye, kids!” on the last Howdy Doody broadcast.
    • Bozo, who was an all-around good childhood friend.
    • Emmett Kelly and his perpetual pursuit of that pesky spotlight on the circus floor.

    And, Jeff …if you express an opinion in the woods and your wife is not there to hear, are you still wrong? Chins up, my friend. Both of ’em.

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  54. Wow, are you Eeyore the Rambler this morning? Some of these were pretty sickening that I couldn’t stomach finishing reading them:( Don’t worry…always enjoy your ramblings….over my 2nd cup o’joe!

    Hmmm, was wondering what movie to rent for tonight–saw Hugo, so will think about one of the others, maybe.

    Tigger is my favorite–probably because he so opposite of me! I love the original illustrations and really think that Milne was able to nail humanity in his characters. Every year I have to have a Winnie the Pooh calendar–my favorite:) So many great lines/quotes: “…and Christopher Robin and Pooh and Piglet were left on the bridge by themselves…For a long time they looked at the river below them, saying nothing…” and “As soon as he saw the Big Boots, Pooh knew that an Adventure was going to happen…”

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  55. Oh, I just LOVE Eeyore! People try to cheer him up, but they don’t realize that all his negativity is a perfect humbug. He’s a lot like Puddleglum in the Narna series. He is perfectly happy the way he is. Roo is another favorite. He is just irrepressible.

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  56. Chris, I think you need to go to http://en.gravatar.com/ and set yourself up with a photo or other image of your choosing. Once that is done, the image will appear automatically on this and many other blogs when you offer comment.

    That’s what worked for me, but beware. Once people see what you look like, as I have learned the hard way, you may never be taken seriously again. 🙂

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  61. Gotta love the Saturday ramblings….a cup of coffee, a recap of the events of the week, and topped off with a video of our lady of Southern Comfort and one of her best-known songs. 😉

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  62. Rabbit, it’s gotta be rabbit, though Tiger is great as well.

    I don’t understand why we need to react at all to bad drivers, no gesture is going to be taken in the right context. So just bless them and go on with your day. When I rode motorcycles, I didnt have any issue gesturing to get their attention (with an air horn for emphasis), and I’m not one bit sorry. But I never antagonized them either, that would have been dangerous for my well being.

    I guess I just find this desire to turn every little stupid thing into some great Christian message, to be the sign of a weak faith. It’s like people who ONLY read the bible, and ONLY listen to Gospel music, and never see movies and on and on and on. It seems so less than human to me anymore…

    And I love me some good ole Joplin, wouldn’t you love to hear her and SRV together!!!

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  64. For Christmas I got a turntable with a USB port to plug it into a computer. My mother ran downstairs and got her Cheap Thrills album and asked that I dub “Summertime” into an MP3. Then they pulled out the Grand Funk, BS&T, Queen….and Evie.

    And somewhat related, for a good laugh check out Rolling Stones’s original review of the Cheap Thrills album. They’ve been missing the point of rock and roll for a very long time.

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  65. “For a Christmas service, I remixed some classics, not quite in a Megadeth fashion, but in a pretty heavy rock fashion,” Ellefson said.

    A local radio DJ recently commented that every time a Trans-Siberian Orchestra song is played, an angel gnaws off it wings. I can’t imagine what angels did when they heard this.

    Why can’t he be a heavy metal band member as his vocation, being salt and light and the “face of God” (Luther) in his daily life and work? Why does his music have to be legitimized by churchianity? Again, this is NOT Lutheran spirituality. I think that was Martin Luther’s “Table of Duties” that just flew out the window. This is why I have dropped out of the LCMS.

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  67. Let me get this straight: when a Christian gets honked at for cutting someone off in traffic, he or she can give them the three-finger salute? I think it will still be received as “up yours”. Hope your windows are bullet-proof.

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  69. Today will be a better day, Jeff. (or not ) I hope it is, though.

    Everyone wants to tell you ‘who to vote for’.

    When I was a union member, a union leader (whom I had never met or spoken with before) told me “we HAVE to spend your money on politics because you f%^#$*! guys don’t know s#*@.

    Mny of these political Evangelicals are about as bad (except they leave our money alone).

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  70. Jeff, your post today proves that one doesn’t have to be a Happy Rambler in order to be a Good or even Great Rambler. Grumpy works just as well. Better, even. This is an extraordinary mishmash of ramblings, unequaled heretofore.

    You heard it here first.

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  71. If you start giving that three-fingered salute, they may think you are a Girl Scout or a Boy Scout! Though I suppose the difference is that the Scouts keep their fingers together and it looks like the Threethrow separates the fingers a bit. I read on wikipedia that, “The three fingers represent the person’s own spiritual beliefs, other people and the Girl Scout Law.”

    Oh, I missed Winnie the Pooh day. I got a kick out of reading some of the comments about why people love the characters. One person said they love Pooh the best because he says things like, “It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like ‘What about lunch?’ ” Hey, that’s my kind of bear! I love all the characters. I know a number of Eeyores so I like him and his sadsack ways too. And Tigger is a sweetie. I like the original illustrations better than the Disney ones, though.

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  72. Martha, Chaplain Mike is taking the day to fast and pray for his Chicago Cubs. I am the disciplinarian on Saturday mornings. You actually earn a gold star! No woodshed for you!

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  73. Asking Joel Osteen on theology is like asking me a question on medicine, neither of us have any formal training on either theology or medicine. I just do not play a doctor on television.

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  75. Shoot, if we have to change the Divine Service to the expectations of a heavy metal bassist since apparently only he has proper taste in music since he is a professional and all, then by golly miss Molly, we ought to do it.

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  81. Regarding the better jobs in Mexico than here and the potential for some reverse immigration…. I’m pretty sure I just watched that episode of South Park. Viva Mantequilla, the Last of the Mehicans!

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  83. “Eeyore doesn’t want your Paxil. He doesn’t care for your uplifting life coaches. He steadfastly refuses to make his life better by attempting a cleanse or going to a yoga retreat. He has his thistles and his stick house (which, frankly, really should be condemned) and his relentless storm cloud of negativity. That is all Eeyore needs, and that is why I love him…it’s somehow heartening to know that that there will always be a donkey wearing a detachable tail and a sad-sack expression, and finding the negative in every conceivable circumstance.” – Jen Chaney.

    +1,000,000!!!

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  84. Anyone surprised that Osteen confuses Mormonism with Christianity or that he’s attracted to the GOP’s richest candidate? Favorite Pooh character: Piglet. Love the Joplin video.

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