Have I Ever?

Posted byChaplainmikePosted inLaugh or else, Michael Bell

I thought we would have a little fun today. This is quite the list, eh? My Father saw it online and sent it to me, because he thought it sounded so much like me. He didn’t realize that I was the one who had posted it in the first place!

I have been writing for Internet Monk (off and on) for over 10 years now. But how well do you know yours truly? I have done some stupid things in my past. The good news is that stupid decisions usually make for great stories.

Here is the deal. I have done everything in the list except one. Can you guess which one? Take your best guess in the comments, and I will tell you the story behind the one you guess. At noon, and at the end of the day, I will update the post with some picture of the events in question.

How many have you done? Got any crazy stories of your own? Did you know Internet Monk commenter Klasie has been struck by lightning and had an artery severed in a home invasion shooting?

I am looking forward to reading your guesses; how many you have done; and some of your own stories. As usual, your thoughts and comments are welcome.

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Update: Here are some of the answers you guessed incorrectly, and the stories behind them.

L. Free climbed a mountain summit… alone (guessed by Robert F.)

(picture not mine)
In the summer of 1993 I was staying at a retreat center just outside of Banff National Park. I decided to drive some back roads into Banff and go for a hike into Lake Minnewanka. As I was hiking along, I said to myself, “I be I could climb that mountain.” And… with no ropes, no proper climbing equipment I did. It got pretty scary when I got stuck on a cliff face for about half an hour, and no one knew where I was. If I fell there was a good chance my body would never be found. But I fought the urge to panic and eventually made my way off the cliff. I found out later that the mountain was named Mount Costigan.

M. Organized a rally for a Catholic Saint (guessed by Eeyore and Klasie)
In the late late 1980s I was very active in the pro-life movement. I was invited to be on the organizing committee for the “National Rally for Life” in Ottawa. Mother Teresa was the key draw. And we had an estimated 15-50,000 in attendance on the front lawn of Parliament Hill.

A. Competed in an international shooting competition… in the submachine gun category (Guessed by T.S. Gay and Dan from Georgia)
Yes, that’s me. Taken in the summer of 1981 on my way to compete in the Canadian Forces Small Arms Competition. It was an international competition with Rifle and Pistol teams from several nations, along with the various police forces from across the North America. For the record, I finished top 10 in the overall Pistol Category and top 20 in the Submachine cateogory.

E. Walked half a mile down the road… in my skates (guessed by Michael Z)
This one and Z. Fallen through the ice are actually tied together.
I was skating on a shallow pond and went through the ice with both feet. I was 10 at the time and skating with a bunch of friends about half a mile from my house. I was able to step out and kept on skating. When it was time to go home my friends quickly put on their boots and left. I on the other hand was staring down at two solid blocks of ice where my skate laces lived. I had no choice but to walk home on my skate blades down a gravel road. I narrowly escaped frostbite and screamed in pain when my dad tried to put warm water on my feet.

Y. Eaten a Giant Puffball (guessed by jimbo and David Greene)
Still fresh on my camera roll! I did this just last month! It was delicious. Tasted like a melt in your mouth mushroom.

V. Fallen into a Beaver Lodge (guessed by Rick Ro.)
Just 5 days ago!!!

Two weeks ago I had spotted a Beaver a few hundred yards from my home (as the crow flies). So last Sunday I decided to take a little walk along the stream were I had originally spotted it. I saw some fresh cut saplings lying on the ground next to the creek and as I walked up to them my foot went through the ground almost up to my hip. He had burrowed into the stream bank to make his lodge, and I had fallen directly into it from above. The hole is in the bottom left of the picture.

So, no one has guessed the correct one yet. I am hoping you will humour me with some more guesses Saturday, and I will humour you with some more stories.

30 thoughts on “Have I Ever?”

  6. I think I might have felt safer around Evel Knievel — at least he it was a paying gig for him! Just sayin’!

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  11. Nope. I have done exactly none of those things.

    The weirdest thing I have ever done, though not dangerous, was spending a day that left me feeling very much like an assistant to the Archangel Gabriel. The staff of an archaeological firm that I belonged to had excavated an abandoned and built-over cemetery, where the built-over housing had been knocked down, and a new construction project was about to start. We locked the doors, brought out all the bags of excavated and cleaned bones, and started sorting them by burial number. By the end of the day, we had brought the bones of several hundred skeletons back together with their proper, though unidentified, people. The headstones had been removed when the housing was built over the cemetery, but not the bodies. It was a genuinely weird experience.

    NB: All the skeletons were eventually re-buried in a currently-active cemetery.

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  18. “I got t’ do fer me and mine!” no doubt being the mental track playing in your head as you…skiddadled.

    It was a pow’ful thing…

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  19. My guess is M. I mean a man has to have some limits… 🙂

    I have done only one. But I guess being shot and having been struck by lightening makes up for that.

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  20. I guess item “A”.

    Closest I’ve come to the above items…
    E
    O
    Possibly Z

    growing up and living in Minnesota makes these items probable for many native Minnesotans.

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  22. My guess is you haven’t done Y.

    How many have you done?

    J. North America and Asia. Not gonna get more specific than that 😉
    U. But not intentionally. We flipped our raft.
    Z. Fortunately the water wasn’t very deep.

    That’s it!

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  23. We were in Paraguay( mission) and the kids were gathered in the wooden cobble street in a circle. Investigate and it was a tarantula the size of a volleyball. We just turned around and r.u.n.n.o.f.t.

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  25. I hope it’s E, because that’s no way to be treating your skates. But maybe you were a kid and didn’t know any better. 🙂

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  26. I’ll say A.
    Yet I would never have guessed it was any imonker.
    Your Dad sending it to you….. that’s cool and funny and a great father/son message.
    Drove a bus with four deer spotlights to see which student could get closest….kissed it’s nose

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  28. My guess is M.

    And you definitely need to find some more reasonable hobbies. Like D&D. All the benefits of the above list, and more, with far fewer risks. 😉

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  29. Have climbed Mount Trashmore in Va Beach when younger. It’s a huge trash dump that was covered with grass and made into a town attraction.

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  30. My guess is that you didn’t do L.

    I haven’t done any of the listed things.

    I have no stories of foolish adventures on the level of the listed ones.

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