Can someone tell me what a sign in front of a church means that reads “Depression is Selfish”?
–from a Facebook post
This was the “status update,” or whatever it is called, posted by a good friend of mine on his Facebook page the other day. At first I just wanted to chalk it up to this being in Texas where my friend lives, and Texans just being Texans. (You can always tell a Texan. You just can’t tell them much…) My response on his page was: “This means that if you are human and have any kind of problems, you are not welcome in this church.” And while I still think this is true of the church, I am starting to see that there could be some truth to their statement. Especially after what happened here in my town this week.
A young man, a senior in high school, took his own life Tuesday night. It happens that he attended a Christian high school, a strong school with a great headmaster and teachers dedicated to serving their students as best they can. When I heard the news, I wept. I didn’t know the young man, and I don’t think I know his parents. But he is now gone, and I can’t help but think it was a very selfish act. He’s beyond pain now, yes, but what about all those he left behind? His parents, his siblings, his extended family. His friends and classmates. Teachers who gave and gave and gave. I have two Korean boys living with me—Chris and James—who are students at this high school. I now will need to spend a lot of time with them to be sure they are working through their grief in the right way. I would rather be playing catch with them or talking sports or explaining Steinbeck to them than discussing suicide.
And then there is my 17-year-old son who attends a public school here in town. There are no secrets any longer. Before his first bell most of the students at his school would have heard about this tragedy. How many copycat suicides and suicide attempts will we hear of in the coming days? If even one, that is one way too many. So I will sit down with him to talk about what neither of us wants to discuss: the selfishness of suicide.
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