By Chaplain Mike
I am thoroughly enjoying writing on Internet Monk.
This new venture has involved a huge change in my daily work and schedule, but I am thrilled to be pursuing this new avocation. Carrying on the legacy of Michael Spencer, who had such a unique voice and perspective to share, is a joy and challenge, and I find it exhilarating. Your company has been stimulating as well, and the conversations we’ve been having have enriched my thinking.
However, I have already realized the need for a periodic reality check. So here it is. Please hear me out. I want you to know that…
This is not where I live.
There is no “Internet Monastery” where blog writers conduct their daily lives. These discussions, as valuable as they may be, are just conversations. They occur in a funny place, a unique forum we’ve never experienced before — a faceless, fleshless place — a place of less than real relationships. It is, by and large, a good place, with many benefits. We learn from each other. We prompt each other to think. We ponder and evaluate our positions on various subjects.
It’s like a classroom on a day in which the prof leads a discussion, a forum in the public square, a group of strangers bellying up to the bar at a watering hole, hanging around the lounge at seminary, meeting people from other churches in the fellowship hall at a conference and sharing observations about the things you’re experiencing. You say a little something. You hear a little something. Then you go get coffee and move on. Eventually you go home.
Because it is not life.
Michael Spencer wrote about this in a 2004 post:
My continuing fascination with online “relationships (not romances)” continues. I’m in this big discussion with a lurker, and he’s mad as heck that I support the President, and he’s all up into the Tin Foil Hats and so on. Then he starts in with — “I used to like you!”
Puh-leeze.
You read a few pages of my script. You read what I hung out on the net. You made up your own mind about what I was like and what I thought. In your mind, you created an imaginary friend out of my essays. And then you found a subject where we differ — and BOY are you mad!
This is just so juvenile. People, people, PEOPLE! Get a life. The internet is not real life. OK, as the facilitator of one of the more successful blog communities on the net I know that there can be some level of friendships, but even then, they are artificial. My guys at the BHT are talking about getting together in “3D.” Why am I not all that excited? Because I barely know anyone, don’t want to ever know some, have passable feelings of friendship for a few. The BHT largely exists in my imagination. These real people in the room and at my job and next door — they are much more complex, challenging, rewarding and genuine.
I love my online friendships, but mostly because of what they do for ME. I do some listening and ministry for them I guess, and my writing helps them feel they are not alone or to think a bit. But my internet life is pretty self centered. I can’t say it’s made me more holy in the real world. It’s not my church or my family, that’s for sure. It’s a set of somewhat real, somewhat imaginary relationships that allow me to paint on their canvas a bit while they paint on mine.
So I wish some of these online fans/haters would get out of the house and into a coffee shop or a school or a club where they can have real relationships. Saying I am great or going to hell is fun, but it’s not real. OK?
This issue goes beyond the internet, blogs, or one’s view of a particular blogger. It’s the entire culture we’re dealing with in our time.
Im concerned that:
- far too many of our opinions and “convictions,”
- too much of what we think the church should “stand for,”
- too many of our political positions and perspectives,
- too many of our culture war attitudes,
- too much of the stuff we hear from the pulpit and talk about in the narthex at church,
- too many of the attitudes we have toward our neighbors, the public schools, liberals or conservatives,
- too many of our judgments about people in various socio-economic classes and lifestyles,
are not being formed by experiences lived out in daily events where we actually relate to others and learn to deal with matters in active, personal ways.
Instead,
- we watch Fox News or MSNBC,
- listen to Rush or watch Jon Stewart,
- surf the watchblogs that conform to our views,
- join causes and groups on Facebook and post their slogans,
- confirm our opinions on the basis of forwarded emails.
- I become a “Glenn Beck” guy or a “Jim Wallis” guy.
- I tell the world what I believe by my bumper stickers and T-shirts.
I have to remind myself every now and then that most of this is bluster and noise. It’s not life. Frankly, I’ve turned most of it off. The pundits too often become propagandists. Spectacle and screaming trumps truth. A long time ago, A. W. Tozer warned against having a “Reader’s Digest” way of thinking: shallow, simplistic, edited down to its bullet points. What in the world would he say today, when we teach about how to have intimacy with others through bullet points?
Furthermore, on Internet Monk, I can’t let myself get all emotionally invested in some guy who declares me a heretic in a blog comment for my views on Genesis 1. It is just a public discussion, folks. It’s not my life.
My life happens in a small town in central Indiana. I live it with my wife, children, grandkids, and neighbors. My life involves talking with them, praying for them, helping them, being forgiven by them when I mess up. It’s eating meals together, talking about the little things we’ve done throughout the day, coordinating our schedules, staying in touch, keeping short accounts.
My life involves helping coach my grandson’s Little League team and remembering how to talk to seven-year olds again. My life involves singing in the choir at my church, going to practice, cutting up with the rest of the tenors. In my life, I occasionally serve on some committee for our local school district, attend the high school baseball games because the coach is a good friend, greet fellow townsfolk at Walmart or Starbucks, or visit a friend in the hospital whose spouse is having surgery.
Many hours of this life are spent doing my daily work as a hospice chaplain. I drive around the city, visiting folks in their homes, in hospitals, and other facilities. I have face-to-face conversations with them. Surprise! Most of these conversations dont involve swapping the kinds of slogans I get in forwarded emails. No, these talks take place in the context of actual living and dying. We talk about what’s happening to someone’s body right in front of us. We talk about the feelings raised by this, the spiritual issues, and what dad’s going to do when his wife of 62 years walks through death’s door and leaves him behind.
My fellow team members are a huge part of my life. We meet and talk and laugh together, respect the expertise each one brings to our work, consult on difficult questions, help each other in practical ways, and support each other when it all gets heavy. We also recognize that each person has a full and meaningful life outside the team, and so we try to be sensitive, caring, and available as friends for one another.
This is life. Real life. Daily life. Faces. Flesh. Conversations. Decisions. Relationships.
I’m worried about churches in our current electronic and cyber-culture. Reliance upon programmed approaches and technology can easily promote “sound-bite” theology, activity masquerading as meaningful interaction with others, and a culture that “takes stands” on the big issues of the day, but cares little for actually knowing and loving one’s neighbor.
So, for example,
- You may have a position on the gay lifestyle or gay marriage. How many gay people do you know and relate to regularly?
- You rant and rave about the decline of morals in our society. Do you have any relationships with “sinners”? Do you welcome them into your home and sit down at table with them? Do you develop long-term friendships with them?
- How much time do you spend online? In front of the TV? Hooked to some electronic gadget? On the other hand, how much time and energy do you give to genuine relationships, down to earth activities, serving others, having real conversations?
I love Internet Monk. It has a place.
And I honestly appreciate all of you who read and participate. It’s an exceptional online community, a vibrant conversation.
But it’s not where I live. Nor should you.