In the eight years (this month!) that I’ve been writing here at Internet Monk.com, I’ve said a lot less about parenting than I should be saying.
Recently, a reader wrote me to say that he valued my view on many issues of life and family because I was older (52) and I’ve been through many of the stages of life experience that others are still looking forward to.
A conversation with my Advanced Bible class about God’s love as expressed in parenting, and my own reflections on parenting as my son announced his engagement have stirred up all kinds of potential posts about parenting.
So, instead of writing them all, I’d like to attempt a quick walk-through of some of my own observations about parenting. I’ll stir up more than I can respond to, I’m sure, and I don’t want to create the impression that I know the answer to all of the issues related to parenting, but perhaps this overview will help us locate some good topics for future posts.
So in no particular order, here’s some of my own observations on parenting that ought to be full blown IM posts. But my kids are grown. You people figure it out on your own. (jn)
1. You want to produce a happy, healthy, productive, well-balanced human being. If, in your urgency to produce a religious child, you produce a distorted child, you’ve not been a good parent. The end doesn’t justify the means in Christian parenting.
Sometimes I hear things Christian parents do (hot sauce on the tongue was the last one) and I have to wonder at what point we gave ourselves permission to think like this. We aren’t training dogs here. It’s a whole different matter. This is someone made in God’s image. There are no buttons and levers.
2. All sorts of things in parenting have no relationship whatsoever to any book you’ll read or seminar you’ll attend. Parenting isn’t some mystery that can be taught be experts. When you hear an ad for someone telling you they can make your kid into a near perfect child if you’ll only buy/attend their thing, you’re being taken for a ride on your insecurities. Relax. (Go to Number 3)
You’re going to mess up, screw up and make mistakes. Your family isn’t going to be that !$#$! picture on your church web site. Look at families in the Bible, especially the Old Testament. Read what Jesus said about families. This is where sin shows up. It’s where we fail and get forgiven. It’s where we get to be human and hurtful, but still belong.
A family can’t survive everything. There are limits, but determine that mistakes won’t be covered up and real life will be the canvas on which this picture is painted.
3. Show up, be there, be present, don’t leave, be predictable, be stable, be a presence. That’s not all of parenting, but it’s a lot. All kinds of people turned out really well, not because they were raised by little parenting geniuses, but because they were raised by people who were THERE in their lives. They came home. They made breakfast. They put them in bed. They didn’t chase their own hobbies and dreams at the expense of their kids. They were just there, for the kids, on schedule, like rocks and mountains. They came up like the sun every morning. They may not have been interesting or overly gifted. They may have not been creative. They may have made thousands of mistakes, but they were THERE.
That is huge, people.
4. Turn off the damned television (and attendant electronic devices.) Yes, that’s “damned” for those of you monitoring me for the local authorities. Spell it right. Turn the thing off and read to your kids. Get some animals. Ride bikes. Go hiking. Plant a garden. Buy a telescope. Get dolls. Get action figures. Go on weekend drives. Learn history. Go to ball games. Just decrease the television time.
I am NOT saying get rid of it. I think that’s a mistake as well, but you have to understand that at this point every parent is going to be under assault to use television, DVDs, the internet, the ipod, the way to keep your kids out of your hair. And that’s the problem. Not so much the content- which is an obvious problem- but the fact that I hear all kinds of parents basically say “Just get the kids watching something so we can do something else.” You’ll never totally avoid, this, but it’s insidious, and it is part of a culture wide program to turn your kid into nothing more than one of those human batteries in the Matrix, otherwise known as a passive part of the consumer culture.
Resist the surrender to the culture on this one. Save your kids and yourself from its temptations. Use it to further your goals, not to do your job.
5. The family dinner table. At all costs. As much as possible. No matter what the resistance. No matter how much coordination it takes. It is, always was and always will be, the key to good family life. Talking around that table is very important. More important than church, I promise.
6. Consider seriously the wisdom of putting your children into a large church program that separates them from you into children’s worship. I believe this is the worst thing evangelicals have done in the last 50 years. Other than a very modest extended session for very small children, you should be fearful of making your children the passive participants in programs that set them in front of big screens, DVDs, stages, etc. The demise of evangelicalism is the result of specialized programing. It has very limited usefulness.
7. Loving your children is not the same as you being happy. Loving your children will mean getting into places where you are unhappy, and then asking what does it mean to love that child.
Christian parents have a tendency to say that when they feel good about their child, then the child is being loved. Be careful of that road. Many Christian parents are willing to produce a child who is shallow, phony and manipulative towards them in order to get what they want from that child. Children will, as teenagers especially, give you what you want and buy into nothing you are selling. They will do this to survive having you as a parent. Then when they are away from you, they will sell that strategy and become whatever they really are, which may scare the _________ out of you.
You have to love the real child, and you need to get started with that as soon as possible. Your child’s individuality is your business. It’s your job to love them as a unique individual. A school or a church or a group of friends will never accept individuality in the same measure that you do. They can’t. Life doesn’t work that way.
But I am determined that even though I could name you a decent list of things that I wish were different about my children, I will NOT go there. I will love them as unique individuals, and I will be in their corner when NO ONE ELSE IS. I’m not talking about approving or endorsing. Not at all. If my children take a wrong road, I’ll say so and I’ll lament. But I will not give up on my child over a tattoo or smoking or a change of schools or a change of plans or even rejecting my politics or faith. Some of these things might devastate me, but this isn’t about me being happy. It’s about loving a person in the one role that God has given me.
[Some of my other pieces on parenting…
My Wife’s Post: Hannah Had It Right, But Just Barely.
How Christian Parents Royally Screw Up Their Kids
Finding Our Seats At The Ball Game
A Prayer for Alex: What To Do When Your Child Says He Doesn’t Believe
The Internet Monk Archives 
Sometimes I hear things Christian parents do (hot sauce on the tongue was the last one) and I have to wonder at what point we gave ourselves permission to think like this. We aren’t training dogs here. It’s a whole different matter. This is someone made in God’s image. There are no buttons and levers.
the point is important and well made. But a word in the defense of Dogs. Mistreat a human and they can complain; mistreat a dumb animal and they can not.
If youown a dog they will teach you more about unconditional love than any book. Image of God? How many murders do dogs commit in a year?
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Wonderful post! Thanks so much for writing it. I stopped going to church b/c of always being asked to separate myself from my child. It hurts my heart.
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Make sure this website is up in 20 years or so in case I’m a father of teenagers by then. I’ll probably need to reference it.
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Words of parenting wisdom. After parenting my three sons and being about the same age as you, imonk, I have come to the same conclusions on all those points.
We had some idealism in our early parenting that led us down the wrong road — particularly after we became Christians and fell for some of the gurus in the homeschooling movement that, as you so aptly put it “take you for a ride on your insecurities” — but in the end we had to punt on that stuff.
We made lots of mistakes. If we had more children, we’d make more mistakes, because every child of ours has been so different from the others, and needs different things, it seems that we always have new ways to mess up.
But over the years that we have been Christian parents one thing started to come clear to me. I am not going to be a perfect parent raising perfect children–and God doesn’t expect that of me, anyways. If there was a way to raise a perfect child, God would have sent a parenting method. Instead, he sent a savior.
So I try to tell the younger parents around me to lighten up and not be so afraid. Give up the idea that if you’re just extreme enough, you’ll raise a perfect child and everyone around you will be in awe.
I will be in their corner when NO ONE ELSE IS.
Amen. That is our motto, too.
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I just love this post iMonk… there’s so much here to celebrate. Thank you!
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A good friend of mine once pointed out that in his experience, Jesus is something that women do for themselves and their kids and their husbands go along with. As easy as that statement is to object to, there’s a lot of truth in it.
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Rod:
I am so sorry for the pain you and your children have had to endure. Thank you for staying and being present with your children during these troubling times in their lives. As a teacher, I often see the daily interruptions in the lives of students as their parents go through a divorce, new honeys and remarriages. Because you are staying in the present with them, they will be able to bear up under the burden of emotional pain more successfully.
I am praying for you and yours.
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“3. Show up, be there, be present, don’t leave, be predictable, be stable, be a presence.”
This point is right on. Do you
remember the 2005 movie “Because of Winn
Dixie”. The mother grew tired of the
duties of family life and just left.
The movie is punctuated by several
sad episodes where the child (Opal) asks
about her (absent) mother.
This was all brought home to our family
2 years ago. After 30 years of marriage
(and about 18 years of parenting), my
wife just left and filed for divorce.
No accusation of adultery or abuse; she
just wanted to take (over) half of the
assets and find an easier life. You
have no idea how this devastated three
children and myself.
Point number 3 is so important.
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No matter what they say about “spiritual leadership,†the vast majority of decisions about where to go to church are…
1) made by wives/moms
2) based on children’s programs.
….
Let me put on my helmet. Throw veggies now.
Why would I want to throw veggies? I’ve been waiting for years to hear someone besides me come out and say this. And, I don’t know the same fathers you do, but based on my experience, this situation is generally not due to the father’s indifference, but to some combination of his willingness to keep peace in the home and the mother’s willingness to go to the mat over this one issue. (There are probably other issues where the roles reverse, but not this one.)
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Excellent! I can’t stand all these “10 Steps to Godly Children” books on the Lifeway shelves either, but if you ever get around to writing one, I might make an exception. All of your points were great. I particularly liked #3. We should all memorize that one. You near ’bout brought tears to my eyes with
They may not have been interesting or overly gifted. They may have not been creative. They may have made thousands of mistakes, but they were THERE.
Amen.
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Pastor M, I’ve known folks who grew up under Bill Gothard’s teachings, which can get pretty extreme at times. In the people I know it was blatantly controlling and even abusive at points. My impression of the Duggars is that they seem more loving about it…but overall it still tends toward isolationism and performance-based living. Doesn’t seem to be much room for someone who is just plain different from the rest of the family, but maybe it’s just me.
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Oh Thank you so much for this lovely and insightful article. Lately I have become saddened at the number of my friends who follow certain “Christian parenting gurus”. I will not mention specific names but some of these so called experts give advice that makes the parent/child relationship sound more adverserial then loving.
I needed your sane post so much. I am going to put up a link to these article on my blog.
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I’d like to remind those who are wistful about the good ol’ days when men were men and kids were spanked 😉 that there is a healthy middle ground between punitive hitting and soap in the mouth and the permissive, do-nothing parenting they point to. Authority and learning do not require pain to make a point, they require strong, firm, loving and respectful boundaries – which are NOT permissive. Punishment says that someone has to have that “value added” lesson of pain in order to learn. In reality, it teaches children to hide their faults and fake it to avoid punishment, and often, ironically, causes them to miss the lesson in the consequences that would have otherwise spoken volumes. This is not the kind of discipline that Jesus modeled. He called a spade a spade, and he *taught*. His grace was (is) for those who need it most – the hurting and active sinners. His verbal thrashings were reserved for those who acted right on the outside but were dirty on the inside. And before you quote proverbs at me, check out the rod studies I referenced earlier.
Yes, permissive parenting is horribly terribly damaging – at least as much as harsh, punitive parenting! Probably more. But there is an alternative. It’s how God parents us, and I’m grateful.
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iMonk,
Great post!! I have been married for about 6 months and have no children. This was a good post for when I have a family. I love the insight you provide especially the part about decreasing television and doing something more productive. I am a technology junkie and love television but I am beginning to understand the real importance for husband/wife interaction outside of technology. I think the hiking would be fun.
Thanks a bunch.
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Right before reading this, I read a forwarded email about the Duggar family of Arkansas (17 children with #18 due soon, all homeschooled, living under the teachings of Bill Gothard and financial advice of Jim Sammons)–also featured on TV. While I see good in what they do, it also seems a bit eerie to me. Anybody else have reactions to that?
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Amen and Amen, brother! Seven pearls of wisdom. Every one of them is spot on. I’ve said them all at one time or another; you’ve said them better. Thank you!
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“You want to produce a happy, healthy, productive, well-balanced human being. If, in your urgency to produce a religious child, you produce a distorted child, you’ve not been a good parent. The end doesn’t justify the means in Christian parenting.”
I agree with imonk’s point but I sometimes
feel like I see a more exclusively ‘spiritual’ or
god-centered orientation in the Bible
that makes me forget human kindness
and lean toward Phariseeism. Eg.
Nehemiah 9:5ff or Eph. 6:13ff.
Does anyone else feel the struggle of
competing orientations of spirituality
in the Bible and feel that some of
these cause us to tend toward not
producing “a happy, healthy, productive, well-balanced human being”? I.e. so
heavenly minded that we are no earthly
good!
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Thank you Micheal, your insight hit some big items right on the head of the nail.
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Parenting seems to have come up in many of my recent discussions. It seems that you cannot go to the store without hearing several kids screaming their way through it. Now I do see parents that try to deal with the situation… as I dealt with it and my wife when our children were young, but what gets me is the parents that just do nothing. At the very least take the kid out to the car and let them tone down. I think there is a huge problem in parenting these days and it’s not so much the parents fault as it is society’s. People are afraid to discipline and pay out consequesnces for the actions of their children. No more spanking, it’s now a time out or counting. What’s more is that the community is not allowed to play their part in discipline. I remember as a kid if I got out of hand down the road from my house there was always the chance of getting a boot to the rear by another parent or neighbor. Now it’s all abuse and you can’t even yell at a kid without getting in trouble. Where is the community in raising our children? We still are our brothers keepers aren’t we?
By the way when I was in my evangelical days I did do that hot sauce thing… (though i just used catsup). It worked about as good as getting soap in my mouth as a child.
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Excellent post. I’d like to quickly comment on #6. I agree that youth group involvement should be a thought-out decision for each child. Our two boys (now young adults) had a mixed bag experience with youth group. Our oldest was very involved and on balance benefited from the experience. Our youngest never had any interest and we didn’t require it. Both are doing fine. Youth groups are imperfect, no panacea, and not for everyone. On the other hand, the “family church” movement has a big presence in our area and I see excesses (homeschool your kids and youth groups are evil) on that extreme as well. Balance and wisdom are needed.
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Thank God for grandchildren. It’s like a “second chance” from Him to get it right, er, rightier and betterer.
Although it would have been nice to get it done right the FIRST time around.
Grace is a wonderful thing.
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Thank you so much for this thoughtful commentary. I’m a mom of three, with one on the way, and it has been quite the journey.
I’d caution your readers impressed with the non-punitive view here to use discernment with the “godly tomatoes” site recommended…there is much good to glean, but also much to avoid and better places to get the good. She has a decidedly punitive view of God and childraising. 😦 A good alternative (since someone asked) would be Arms of Love Family Fellowship (aolff.com) for a Scripturally sound, grace-filled treatment of discipline and normal child development. The author is a conservative, messianic Christian pastor who emphasizes appropriate development and firm, healthy boundaries without punitive reactions and hitting. Her articles on the rod verses are fantastic.
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iMonk,
Thank you so much for writing this. My husband and I are about to have our first child, a son, and I am looking for all of the wisdom I can soak up about parenting. I look forward to more posts hopefully expanding on what you’ve written here or anything else you have to say on the subject. (Recommendations for written resources, etc?)
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Boy, amen to all of these.
I did a morning prayer at my school last year on number 4 and it was one of the best things I think I’ve been led to say in over a decade of doing morning prayers.
Turning the TV off (and getting off of Facebook and YouTube) could change the world for your family and children.
That’s also why I’ve begun to practice technosabbatarianism – no electronic technology from sundown on Saturday to sundown on Sunday. It has been amazing.
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Those four daughters were born within a 42 month period (Oct 60 – Apr 64). Both my wife and I were raised that NOT attending an assembly of the church wasn’t a possibility. We raised those girls the same way. Spending their lives following me around the world (Army) we were exposed to small to medium sized congregations with “youth programs” to fit.
Getting up on Sunday morning early enough to do hair and get dressed was a lifelong habit — not doing it wasn’t considered. Yes, there was mild griping at times.
And, no, our daughters NEVER were involved in “children’s church.” They sat thru every sermon preached without harm. Our philosophy was that our task was to teach our daughters to live in the public adult world. Their Sunday school time provided the peer associations they needed.
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Thank you, Michael, for these wise words. As the father of four Godly daughters (thanks mostly to their Godly mother) I’m interested in how those girls, along with their Godly husbands, have raised their kids. Now I have a granddaughter who will present us with our first great-grandchild in May.
For the past five or so years I have directed young marrieds and/or parents to this site: http://Www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com for great advice (no, I don’t agree with all she has to say).
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Wonderful!!!! I have 6 blessings- almost 8 mos old up to 14 years old. I couldn’t agree with what you wrote more! Now to get those points widespread, mainstream media attention, instead of all the harsh punitive (abusive) junk normally associated with Christians.
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#3 is the big one, especially for men, I believe. There comes a time when you have to grow-up, quit softball, bowling, pool, whatever, and just be there for the kids concerts, games, etc.
#4 is the hardest. I doubt there has never been a child that did not want to “help” mom or dad. We sit them in front of a tv for a number of years because they “get in the way”, then wonder why we can’t get them to help around the house later.
We’re stupid.
I believe one of the father’s greatest duties is to see potential in their kids, and encourage them to reach out toward it. But, in order to see that potential, you have to KNOW them. To know them takes time. There is no such thing as “Quality Time”, it’s a myth. Spend a lot of time with them, reading early, music and sports later.
You also have to push them to try new things, so they can learn more about themselves.
Make them try music, sports, a wide range of things, don’t let them quit too soon, and show up at their activities to show them you care.
Read to and with the little ones, learning to read is the foundation for any hope of a good life.
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Way back, when wandering thru the fundamental forest I was told about sparing the rod… I asked “did you read the part about the rod is for the back of a fool?” Praise God my girls were never fools. They did a couple foolish things but they were never fools. Congrats! imonk on raising children as led by the Spirit and Wisdom of the Lord instead of the fundy/evangelical talking heads.
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Your post made me almost cry–beautiful! My kids are in college, so we aren’t quite done, but my rule of thumb was always to treat the kids like human beings that are precious to God, and, as you said, to be there for them. I worked part time for years so I could be home more. We’d have a lot more money if I had worked full-time, but I wouldn’t trade the relationships for anything. Now, we have to get over the last hurdle–graduation and self-sufficiency through jobs! Ah! It never ends, does it?
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Great Post.
A note to any couples who do not yet have kids. Raising them is a job. And an 18 year or so commitment to that job. Don’t think once they are out of diapers it gets easier. It just gets different. And in many ways harder.
But the rewards are great.
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Rose Mawhorter
“I’ve got a five and a six year old. I find it really difficult to know how to help them love and obey God without making them religious.”
Live it. They’ll learn more by examples than by teaching. They always do. Much to our embarrassment at times.
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I completely agree. Old fashioned country churches here in the mountains of Eastern Ky are more family friendly.
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but I won’t give you the point that the only church the New Testament has in mind is the family.
Fine, because I’m not arguing that. I agree with the importance of disciples gathering together… but what that must look like is a different discussion.
As it is, the state-of-the-art in Sunday services, here at least, does little to help families remedy the stress involved in getting the show on the road.
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I’ll give you that practical and compassionate point, Justin, but I won’t give you the point that the only church the New Testament has in mind is the family.
I’d also suggest that if your family attending worship at any church is that stressful, then a lot of other things are going to be just as stressful, and some compromises need to be made.
I had a neighbor for several years who was involved in a kind of “family-church” movement, and he insisted that he was the head of his church and his family. A bit over the top in my opinion.
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I would argue that a commitment to the little church sometimes calls for a decision to not attend services at all, for the sake of mom’s sanity and to prevent schitzophrenia in everyone. Being real and at peace at home beats faking it up at church, any day.
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Well don’t let me say that men are guiltless. This is a matter of the commitment to the spiritual nurture calling of the family as a “little church.” Dads need to embrace that, and the choice of a church should reflect that.
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Okay, I’ll bit (or drool as Pavlov’s dog did…):
My family currently doesn’t attend church due to the simple fact that it is a pain in the arse to get everyone up, fed, ready, and out the door; and to arrive without putting on the fake “happy to be here bit” after fighting with the dear ones in the car on the way over; and to be of proper mind to worship the Lord.
Wives and moms bear the brunt of the pre-chapel stress, plain and simple.
“Better” children’s programs tend to lessen the pre-chapel stress by 1) giving the kids something to want to be there for; and 2) giving wife/mom the hope of some inner peace, if only for 45 minutes or so–right or wrong, real or illusion.
Dad doesn’t care, and just wants everyone to shut up–right or wrong.
There has to be a better way.
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When did Christians become Skinnerian behaviorists?
Let me make some people angry:
I deal with a lot of couples in the area of finding a church. No matter what they say about “spiritual leadership,” the vast majority of decisions about where to go to church are…
1) made by wives/moms
2) based on children’s programs.
Upward sports has changed this a bit, but it’s still staggeringly true. I know dozens of couples where the Father would prefer to be at another church, but the children’s programs “aren’t as good.”
Let me put on my helmet. Throw veggies now.
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yes, yes and YES!!!
a terrible, horrible, very bad idea!
And yet so many churches I have visited are moving to this.
Children should be a part of our communal worship, not in another room getting Veggie-Tales messages.
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Excellent stuff. Your first point is critical, that there are no ‘buttons and levers’. Children are real, unique, wonderful, exasperating human beings, not some robotic mechanism designed to do our bidding as long as we enter the correct sequence of commands from the instruction manual.
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Sometimes I hear things Christian parents do (hot sauce on the tongue was the last one) and I have to wonder at what point we gave ourselves permission to think like this. We aren’t training dogs here. It’s a whole different matter. This is someone made in God’s image. There are no buttons and levers.
AMEN AMEN AMEN!!! I can’t tell you how many adults I know who were raised in Evangelical homes who have a view of God that is very twisted and warped due to how their parents disciplined and characterized how God viewed them and their behavior. Accepting God’s grace and living in freedom in Christ instead of cowering in fear of lightening bolts from heaven has been a very difficult transition to make – we shouldn’t put such stumbling blocks in front of our children b/c of our desire to have perfectly behaved kids under our complete control via behaviorism (Dr. Dobson beating your dog into submission and comparing it to a strong-willed HUMAN child comes to mind here…).
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My son will be 2 in two weeks, and Baby #2 will arrive mid-April…I never grow tired of reminders to parent in love & grace, rather than fear & control. We joke that we’re already saving for therapy, since we’ll screw them up somehow, but my biggest desire is that we will help them toward God instead of driving them away. Thanks for the posts.
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MS,
As a dad of four (8, 5, 3, & 2) this could not be more timely. Althgough, I wish you would make a post out of all 7 points…
Thanks for being willing to share your insights, honestly. I would really rather not screw up my kids, in spite of what everyone might have me do.
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Great post.
I’m just getting into the thick of it. I’ve got a five and a six year old. I find it really difficult to know how to help them love and obey God without making them religious. I’d love to hear some expansion of your thoughts on this.
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Parenting: the greatest job I have ever had. It is a real emotional time for me right now as a parent. I have three grown children. The oldest daughter (27) has just bought a house. She will be moving out next month. She has remained at home all this time, saving her money for the downpayment. She has more than 20% to put down, no PMI, Yeah! She is a college graduate with no debt.
She is taking her other two siblings; sister (26) and brother (23) with her. They have lived at home all this time, saving money for either college or a house of their own. Neither of her siblings have any debt either. My youngest two have also graduated from college and are doing well.
All three of them still love the Lord and are serving Him through ministries at our local church. I could not be more proud of them all.
They are not perfect and I have told them they did not need to be. I told them I would love them and be there for them no matter what. I will cry with them and rejoice with them.
They are only moving 2 1/2 miles away and so, I will see them often. Besides, we attend the same church. Despite these obvious facts, my heart aches as I cherish this last month with them home. Oh, how I am going to miss them!
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Wonderful post.
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You said it beautifully. I just wish I could redeem those early years that I spent as an Evangelical, when Bill Gothard was our standard bearer. Hot sauce on the tongue was just the start. Then there were the wooden spoon beatings and the worse of all, continuous spiritual manipulation and emotional dishonesty. I mean a child couldn’t have a normal tantrum or emotional meltdown without us having to tell them how they were grieving God, or worse . . . being attacked by Satan. Hmm. And our “standard bearer” had never had children of his own, hey, he had never been married.
Thank God for His mercy. We have five kids, all in college, all doing well and still loving us and appear to be well adjusted. But if we had stayed on that early path, they would all be screwed up in a major way by now. I just hope all those years of forced Youth Group participation (before I repented) hasn’t scared them for life.
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Really enjoyed this read. Here are some of my comments.
Parenting – ugh!
Actually I have to say this has been the happiest portion of my life. We have made lot’s of mistakes. I figure by the time we get to the last one we may have ironed out some of the wrinkles. For the older ones I told them I would pay for therapy when they’re ready.
Communication – absolutely -never stop talking.
Don’t be their best friend when their young. Wait until your old and they have to take care of you (not me though – I’m going to assisted living).
Eat dinner together every night – right on. We also take that time to do the advent wreath. Sometimes my wife gets rambunctious and we do a decade of the Rosary. This usually produces a lot of eye rolling and loud audible sighs from the kids – hey, who says you can’t have fun. Sometimes we read from scripture but find the younger ones stumble over to many words and would rather say Rack, Shack and Benny (Veggie Tales joke). It’s sometimes painful to hear the older ones read.
I currently have seven ranging from 17 down to 3. Some of my four girls are approaching puberty – pray for me.
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Great post. Couldn’t agree more about the specialized programs for kids at church. Our kids really dislike most of those they’ve been to, mostly because as reasonably mature teenagers they’ve outgrown much of it. Sad that at some places the sermons aren’t any more challenging. But they do appreciate the good ones when we get them, and they’ve sat in on the SS class I taught and seemed to get something from it as well.
It’s always been a mystery to me why so many adults expect kids to do things and put up with situations that most adults themselves would consider outrageous or ridiculous were they subjected to them. Last time I checked, there wasn’t an exception to the golden rule when it came to how we treat our kids. 🙂 Nicest compliment I got was from my daughter in a paper she wrote is sixth grade. She talked about how her parents were always “there for her” and gave examples.
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Awesome – thanks!
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