Where’s John Piper When You Need Him?

Posted byChaplainmikePosted inCommentary, Laugh or else

By Chaplain Mike

MOD NOTE: I’ve gone back and weeded out some comment threads that got off track. BTW: this post is not about John Piper, egalitarianism, homosexuality, or who goes to heaven and hell. It’s tongue-in-cheek, humor, folks, about a “striking” incident (insert groan here). Oh yeah, and please do buy the book!

Last August, a tornado struck during the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America’s convention. At their meeting, the ELCA adopted a sexuality statement opening the door for homosexuals in ministry, and the timing and peculiarity of this tornado brought forth comment from Christians who thought they discerned divine messages in the whirlwind.

Most prominently, Pastor John Piper, whose Baptist church is just down the road from the convention center, thought the storm sent a clear message. “The tornado in Minneapolis was a gentle but firm warning to the ELCA and all of us: Turn from the approval of sin. Turn from the promotion of behaviors that lead to destruction.”

Receiving special attention was the fact that the tornado broke the steeple at Central Lutheran Church, leaving an unforgettable image for the chastened to ponder.

(On the other hand, few reported that at the moment the motion passed and the sexuality statement was adopted, the sun broke through the clouds.)

Fast forward to last night and today. Here in the Midwest, we’ve had yet another week of powerful storms. Strange things have happened, and we need to hear from folks like John Piper again to discern what our current weather means. Or maybe, since Piper’s on sabbatical, Pat Robertson might want to chime in.

But, I’ll warn you: this time it’s a little trickier— one event in particular might be harder to interpret.

You see, last night in Cincinnati a well-known conservative Christian landmark, jokingly referred to as “Touchdown Jesus,” was burnt to the ground after a lightning strike. The 62-foot statue, “King of Kings,” appeared to rise up from the waters before Solid Rock Church along I-75 in Monroe, Ohio, north of Cincinnati. Comedian Heywood Banks wrote a song about the statue, called “Big Butter Jesus” because of the pale yellow appearance of the huge steel-framed structure, covered in plastic and fiberglass.

So…

…what do you think?

Is this the devil’s doing, an attack on Jesus and his work?

Is God sending a message of judgment? On “graven images”? On conservative evangelical Christianity? On obnoxious kitsch?

Is this, as one church member suggested, just another example of how Jesus sacrifices himself to save his church? (The church building itself was spared, except for an adjacent amphitheater.)

Here’s my theory:

Since today marked the release of Michael Spencer’s book, this event is God’s way of preparing us to receive it. This is God saying to us:

“Thus saith the Lord, I myself will bring an end to ‘Mere Churchianity!’ My people shall not go on building megachurches to satisfy religious consumers. My people shall not continue their culture war ways. My people shall not build gigantic statues that cause the world to mock and put thousands of motorists at risk every day. I will not allow my people to continue in such bad taste.

“Instead, saith the Lord, I command my people to purchase Michael Spencer’s book, that they may learn to avoid this plague of ‘Mere Churchianity,” and learn how their lives may be shaped by Jesus. Yea, they shall buy multiple copies, and distribute them far and wide.”

Hey, it’s as clear as can be to me. Give me awhile, and I’ll find the verses to back it up. You’ll see.

Who says God doesn’t still speak?

Wait a minute… did you hear that thunder?

149 thoughts on “Where’s John Piper When You Need Him?”

  2. Religious art has to touch our humanity, otherwise it becomes as dehumanizing as heavy-handed asceticism and utilitarian ugliness.

    Like “Monumental Socialist Realism” as per the Glorious Leader statues of Third World hellholes?

    Like

  3. Evangelical churches will remain uninspiring, stark, ugly, steril white-washed utilitarian eyesores for years to come.

    Like Wahabi Mosques?

    Like

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  5. In a way, the statue was a good depiction of the message preached in most American evangelical churches. First, you are greeted with the happy, open-armed therapeutic-Jesus. Once you’re hooked, the exterior burns off, and you find yourself in the grasps of moralistic, Terminator-Jesus. It’s Pinochio in Pleasure Island.

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  8. I thought Piper believed in Irresistible Grace? If that is true why would God need to resort to scaring people into repentance?

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  9. “It rubs the lotion on it’s skin”…I’m just saying. Look, that statue was ugly and so is the church building. The sad fact is the statue will be re-built. In fact they have the funds right now. Ohio is in dire straits, real unemployment is what 20-30% and growing every hour. But hey let’s plunk down quarter mil for some art. I don’t like the whole anti-capitalist line of argument. But this isn’t that. This is bleep forking over unemployment dough to bleep that won’t even visit mom in the hospice. Bye-Bye

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  10. I certainly agree with you MWPeak. In the Hebrew Scriptures exile from God and the ‘divine cold shoulder’ is certainly the ultimate judgments reserved by God and I think Christians would do well to adopt the themes of exile and exodus (leaving the land of captivity and exile) into our thought but that’s just a thought….

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  11. I love the infantile maturity of some of these TR’s on here who are like, “I don’t like what you said, so I’m never ever ever ever ever gonna read you again for the rest of my whole life!”

    At two years old this type of comment would be appropriate. Why then do you have the burning desire to inform the whole community of your leave? Do you really think we believe you? You’ll be reading anyways, and you know it. If for nothing else, to see if repentance happens 😛

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  13. As a research meteorologist specializing in tornadoes (and a storm chaser) myself, I always find it frustrating when certain Christians seize upon a particular weather event as a particular judgment of God, while completely ignoring countless other similar weather events. I don’t remember ever hearing a peep about the devastating Greensburg, KS EF5 tornado of May 4th, 2007 being a judgment of God, for example, but I heard plenty of people pointing to Hurricane Katrina as one. Incidentally, Hurricane Katrina was actually quite well forecast by the National Hurricane Center to hit near NOLA up to 5 days out. Does it make sense to suggest that the NHC was actually predicting an act of God’s judgment 5 days ahead of time? Of course tornadoes, let alone individual bolts of lightning, are far more difficult to forecast ahead of time because of their small and transient nature, but we are making strides even for them.

    I’m not saying that God never uses severe weather for judgment, but I’m inclined to agree with several of the above posters who suggested that these sorts of things are more of a general warning and reminder of our own mortality and need to repent, rather than specific judgments by God.

    By the way, I volunteer myself to head up the “prophetic storm chasing” ministry mentioned above 😉

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  16. Maybe they can take the insurance money an rebuild an animated version; make the arms move like the neon cowboy on the Vegas strip. Have it rise out of the pool on the hour while “small world” plays. C’mon! Think of the possibilities! Create such a distraction for drivers that pile-ups will be a daily occurrence, then strategically station church members along the highway to pray the sinner’s prayer with crash victims.

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  21. Looking at the remains, I can only guess that the steel span struck by the lightning did not have a low-resistance path to ground, so the lightning found the path of least resistance through the structure – perhaps from one “arm” to the other (it’s the same reason that touching live electrical wires with each hand will kill you). This lead to heat dissipation which set the flammable covering on fire. I don’t mean to be so logical. I know how much God hates logic, science and stuff like that.

    &_&

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  22. I bet it would succeed … if by “succeed”, one meant “boost up the numbers without actually causing many lives to be changed.” (Which is pretty much how success is defined in the American church these days …)

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  23. God’s peeved at Nebraska, but only because they quit the Big XII. Isn’t there a verse about “do not leave the conference of your youth …”?

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  29. Interesting that you cite Luke 13:1-5, since what Jesus is saying in that passage is the exact opposite of what Piper was implying. Smooooooth …

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  30. This might be more evidence that perhaps the American church should spend less time/money/energy/attention on building more buildings. A 30-foot-tall steeple (or 62-foot Styrofoam Jesus statue) is more likely to be struck by lightning than a 12-foot-tall storefront or private home …

    Just sayin’.

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  31. Wait, have we totally eliminated the possibility that Piper was attempting a joke when he said that? I mean, he may not have succeeded, but then Piper isn’t exactly known for being a laff-a-minute kind of guy. Chris Rock he ain’t. Perhaps we should give him credit for trying?

    Maybe?

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  32. I love how you feel the need to command people to laugh at something that was neither funny nor insightful.

    I love how you think that the title “Laugh or Else” is a command, when in fact it’s another piece of humor. No … actually, I don’t love it, I find it sad and pitiful. Goodbye, Matthew R. Blessings to you on your humorless and uptight journey.

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  33. Nothing divine or demonic afoot here; just bad design and engineering – as well as bad artistic taste. You can’t stick two steel beams straight up in the air without lightning rods and proper grounding wells, then cover them with flammable plastic and foam and not expect something to go terribly wrong.

    Sadly, this episode will set religious art back decades. The “no graven images” folks are going to have a field day with this. Evangelical churches will remain uninspiring, stark, ugly, steril white-washed utilitarian eyesores for years to come. Religious art should tell us more about God than it does us, our culture or the artist – not that cultural influences can be completely removed from art. Religious art has to touch our humanity, otherwise it becomes as dehumanizing as heavy-handed asceticism and utilitarian ugliness. Evangelicals seem to have little to choose from between the extremes of stark and pretentious.

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  36. they could also sell 4″ chucks as relics…er,that is…..Prayer Assisting Briquets; take em’ to Israel and have them prayed over and blessed, and then bundle them with a prayer cloth… act fast, they’re goin like….

    Greg R

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  37. What happens if the entire town repents?
    Jonah got pretty ticked off when God didn’t destroy Ninevah.

    I know you’re joking. Sounds like a great idea for a book. Mind if I toy with it?

    Like

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  39. Scotteriology can never just leave it alone, which is why Scotteriology is fun to read.

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  40. This post has given me an idea for a new ministry: prophetic storm chasing.
    A team of prophetically gifted evangelicals will travel throughout tornado alley during peak storm season using doplar radar and spiritual discernment to get ahead of forming supercells and deliver “Thus saith the Lord” messages in towns and cities that are about to get hammered by God’s wrath. This ministry will be especially effective because the “repent or else” message will be given BEFORE the F-4 twister tears a path through the trailer park full of Godless sinners. And, afterwards, a clean-up team of traveling evangelists can reap a harvest of shell-shocked souls by holding a tent revival amidst the devastation.

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  41. Eric,

    Ok, I understand. I agree with you that there are honest scholars on both sides of this issue. They are also sometimes found across surprising theological lines. Roger Nicole, a seasoned, elderly Reformed Baptist, is an egalitarian, and RB’s are almost always (in my experience) complementarian. I lean more toward the complementarian understanding of Scripture myself, but I would not be nearly as detailed in my *application* of that view as many Christians are.

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  42. I thought this same thing!! I actually posted this question the other day on my Facebook page before I read this here!!! 😯

    Wow!!! I remember when Piper said that comments about the ELCA and thinking to myself that man…God must be really peaved at the states of Texas, Kansas, Oklahoma, Missouri, Nebraska, etc…

    Wow!!!

    Eagle

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  43. I like what was left after the fire. They could cover it with hay, light it up during the full moon and call it “Burning man” Jesus to appeal to counter-culturalists and those of us with Druidic leanings.

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  44. What is really funny is the fact that just because some people don’t find this post funny others say, “Have a sense of humor.” I do have a sense of humor, just ask Michael Scott- I laugh at almost everything he says. Just because someone doesnt like the tone of this post doesnt mean they are void of humor. #GetOverYourselves

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  46. Hey, when God has not smitten any of the stalls selling religious tat at the Marian shrines throughout Europe (everywhere from Lourdes to my own country’s Knock), then you know that “good taste” and “religious imagery” need not go together 🙂

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  47. “There was some one thing that was too great for God to show us when he walked upon our earth; and I have sometimes fancied that it was His mirth.”

    G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy

    (For context, I recommend reading the whole brilliant book. This is the last sentence.)

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  48. Oh, I was just playing. I don’t know Piper’s views on cessationism/continuationism. I do know his views on complementarianism/egalitarianism, though. Not much else, though.

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  50. I am sure God, being infinite, has an infinite capacity for humor and finds this post very funny (as did I)!

    And hey – if God doesn’t have a sense of humor, why did He make the Three Stooges? 😉

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  51. And I thought this was going to be a serious essay. You made me laugh — and I needed that! Thanks, Mike.

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  53. THAT is supposed to be MARY? Wow… I mean, obviously, she lived long, long before the age of photography, so all images of her are only representative, but I do *not* like how she is “represented” here… (The good news, though, soon, as Martha mentioned… Cardinal Mahoney’s retirement!)

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  55. Your recommendation reminds me of my views on the Sons of Feanor: “Well, at least Maglor isn’t as completely nuts as the rest of them”.

    😉

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  56. I incline to the Byzantine/Orthodox style in my preferences, or sticking with Western Catholicism, the mediaeval rather than High Renaissance (the just-starting-out Renaissance ones work for me though). I’m your ‘tenth to twelfth century, okay, squeeze in the thirteenth too, was good enough, yeah, yeah, International Gothic groupie here’ type 😉

    I love the Wilton Dipytch, for instance:

    Though if we’re talking Renaissance artists, yes, Leonardo, you got me with your “St Anne, the Virgin and Jesus”:

    Or Botticelli, though his “Madonna of the Magnificat” is so beautiful I can’t look at it too long, as the beauty overwhelms me:

    🙂

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  57. The post was meant to be humorous, Matthew. Ergo, the label, “Laugh or Else.” 🙂

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  58. Oddly, if it were Joan of Arc (say) I think I’d like it better. And I do think the way the curve of the plinth (may not be getting the term right) to suggest the moon works, it’s just that the rest of the iconography of the Immaculate Conception isn’t so successfully carried out.

    I do really like the tapestries inside, though. But I have to admit, were I the new Archbishop (and it makes me smile that he’s Opus Dei), I’d be slapping up plaster on the walls, plus several coats of paint, to take the bare, beige look off the place (never mind a whopping great as big as I could fit in reredos, altar rails, and statues all over the place).

    I know this is irony for a milk-bottle white Irish woman to say, but it’s so dreadfully white-bread it makes me twitch – all Ikea-style good taste 🙂

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  59. OH NO!!!!! I just saw a rainbow over a Jehovah’s witness church!!!! What is God telling me!!!!! :-0

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  63. God forgive me, but if there are any statues needing to be struck by lightning, I wish a bolt could be aimed at the statue of Our Lady over the door of the Cathedral of the Los Angeles archdiocese.

    You mean “Popeye Mary”?

    (Though from the pic on the link she looks more like Skinhead O’Conner doing Offred from the Handmaid’s Tale.)

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  64. Like the Scotteriology guy said: Two upraised lightning rods plus made out of combustible materials. In the flatlands of Ohio, where lightning storms are common. It was only a matter of time.

    P.S. They spent a quarter-millon on STYROFOAM?

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  65. It weirds me out how the Christian community finds it necessary to protect its celebrity preachers.

    That’s because A CELEBRITY Can Do No Wrong.

    Because He’s a CELEBRITY.

    Just look at Roman Polanski and all his Support from Fellow CELEBRITIES.

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  66. “There can be no laughter in Islam. There can be no smiling in Islam. There can be no humor in Islam.” — Ayatollah Khomeini

    True Believers — whether Persian Twelfth-Imam Shia or Truly Reformed — usually don’t have a sense of humor. That is only for Infidels and Heretics.

    Like

  70. Guys, lighten up. Sometimes I am frustrated at how baby-behind sensitive we are. Grief, it’s okay to rib one another and not take life too seriously. The majority of lower back problems are caused by us behind over backwards to avoid making someone cry.

    Like

  71. Pingback: You can’t High-5 Touchdown Jesus Any More… « prayers for the oft traveled road

  73. Has nobody else realized that this is a challenge from some new god in town? He’s up there now, wondering why the christian god isn’t responding to this mighty provocation.

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  74. WOW, I have to admit, I really love it actually.

    It is amazing how Mary has become a vehicle for so many trends and perspectives in art. Here’s a favorite of mine:

    I like the ones of Madonna with the carnation.

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  76. The scanning version my father used was:

    The ran it rains upon the just
    and also on the unjust fella
    but more upon the just, because
    the unjust steals the just’s umbrella

    The sentiment remains the same.

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  77. God forgive me, but if there are any statues needing to be struck by lightning, I wish a bolt could be aimed at the statue of Our Lady over the door of the Cathedral of the Los Angeles archdiocese.

    I’m sorry, I know what the architect/designer/sculptor was trying to do, but it still strkes me as ugly. And I know the ordinary plaster statue Madonnas are way too sugary and kitsch so a new approach is good, but this is just not working for me:

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  79. Just interesting to me that when Ben Franklin invented the lightening rod it was the churches that most opposed the “new” technology because they, in part, believed that God controlled where and when every bolt struck and that should not be controlled or opposed my men.

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  80. Jason, that’s just……..SICK… 🙂 🙂 yeah,dog, TWO smiley faces spewing rice cake….

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  81. Piper should know that God is a cessationist. He stopped doing that “killing people in church” and “shaking buildings” stuff after the last Apostle died.

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  82. Whenever I see something like that statue, I want to call down fire from Heaven on it. (But then my wife trembles when I walk into my local ‘Jesus Junk’ store – I mean ‘Christian Bookstore’ – afraid I’ll start turning the tables over.) Maybe the 11th Commandment should be ‘Thou shalt have good taste in thy religious imagery’.

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  83. It rains on the just and the unjust fella
    But mainly the just
    ‘Cause the unjust steals the just’s umbrella.

    It doesn’t scan in the slightest, but that little bit of doggerel always made me smirk.

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  84. Not quite. When those things were mentioned to Jesus, He used them to give a warning (to Jerusalem, not “everyone”) about the coming destruction of the city. He – God – did not *cause them* in order to serve as that warning. Unless Piper has inside knowledge of what’s going to happen to Minneapolis in 30 years or so, the tornado was just a tornado.

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  85. Chaplain Mike,
    I’ve read IMonk for a few years; and your post today is one of the reasons I stick around.

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  87. I don’t feel the need to defend him. And it’s not an absurd statement. It’s the same thing Jesus said in Luke 13:1-5:

    There were some present at that very time who told him about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices. And he answered them, “Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans, because they suffered in this way? 3 No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.

    Or those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them: do you think that they were worse offenders than all the others who lived in Jerusalem? 5 No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.”

    Piper’s point (which should be obvious to anyone who actually paid attention to the context and didn’t come with pre-conceived notions about him), was that anytime something like that happens, it’s a warning from God to EVERYONE to repent. He wasn’t saying God was judging them for the vote directly. It was a reminder to them and everyone to repent of sin.

    And Piper never said that about drug abusers, at least not as un-nuanced as you are representing it.

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  89. I’m thinking the “or else” part of this category might be : just don’t read it. I don’t think anyone is saying you have to laugh, but neither is anyone saying you have to read the post. The beauty of IMONK, though, is that you have a place to voice your view that a particular post is either very good, very bad, or somewhere in between. That, my friend, is a very beautiful thing, and rare in the body of CHRIST.

    blessings in you and those you hold special
    Greg R

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  90. maybe this is pre-season for angels…..maybe their best ‘lightning guy’ was holdong out from OTA”s and minicamp….. or maybe they really WERE waiting for the Mere Churchianity book launch..

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  91. Mike, no worries. Though I meant no offense on this end, I could have just as easily chose better words to express the same point. My apologies to you for appearing to pile on and stoke the flames…

    Brad

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  92. There is an anglican church, which has a woman priest, a couple of miles from here. So I suppose that should have been struck by lightning, and razed to the ground, long ago. Oddly, it doesn’t seem to have happened.

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  93. I laughed when I first saw the article about the sculpture burning to the ground. It’s just another example of what we put stock in during our short time on the Earth. It was gaudy and obtrusive, like most “holy” constructs.
    I guess I’m fortunate to not know who this Piper guy is. Ignorance is bliss.
    However, my WWJD watch says it’s time to get back to work.
    Thanks for the post Mike. I’m laughing with you.

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  94. HAH! Did anyone click over and actually watch the Heywood Banks video…now THAT’S some funny stuff!

    “Oleo Lord”
    “Imperial Jesus”
    “I Can’t Believe it’s not Jesus”

    Silly song. It’s going to be one of those ditties that I can’t get out of my brain. German has a good word for that…”Ohrworm”, literally, “ear worm”. Crawls in there and just wiggles around.

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  96. Great post, Chaplain Mike. I especially liked the prophecy/command that “Yea, they shall buy multiple copies, and distribute them far and wide.” Just to be on the safe side, I think we would all do well to heed this warning and go out and buy a copy of “Mere Churchianity” right away! 🙂

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  97. I have often heard it as the book of Revelations. I keep wondering what the plural is there for when Christians refer to it that way but since most of the time they’re dispensationalists I guess I can guess the reason for that. 😉

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  99. The post was an attempt at humor, that’s all, Brad. To some it may not be funny. I get it. My reply, however, was probably a bit out of line. Apologies.

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  100. “filed under laugh or else”

    How intriguing that more than a few here are choosing the “or else”

    I must pray in earnest that my church, my house, my business, or my community never sees a flood or a tornado or a fire or a …….

    Surely it will be due to my sin.

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  101. Well said…did you hear that thunder. Im missing John Piper already.Not because of the thunders and touch downs and stuff. Just because he is a dear brother who left on leave in mid-sentence. He left with the name Rick echoing down the hall way and a drizzle gearing up in the window. Great article, some of the answers are just subject to the interpreters-for example how many angels can dance on the head of a pin….i dont know but if i try to guess there will be thunder in my back yard.

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  102. If God really wanted to send a message, he wouldn’t just zap the statue with lightning–he’d bring it to life, have it stomp around for awhile, and then make it fight dinosaurs or something, just like in the Book of Revelation.

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  104. While I can vaguely understand your objection to the tone of the post: Why not question Piper? We don’t know one way or the other. But neither does Piper, yet he decided to offer an interpretation. Unless he has some kind of special line to God he’d like to reveal, he pretty much just made it all up.

    The problem with seeing signs in weather is that you can interpret it in practically any manner. If a storm strikes a city, which of the 5 million people in it are being given a message? Which storms have messages and which don’t? Trying to guess merely reveals prejudice already in your mind — because you’re going to have to select 1 percent of storms and 1 percent of the possible meaning of those storms. That selection comes straight out of your own concerns.

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  106. Maybe the Touchdown Jesus got zapped because it is merely a “copy and shadow” of the heavenly Touchdown Jesus statue…?

    If God really has a sense of humor, then I think he’s gonna play it on all of us who think we’ve got refined taste… he’s gonna make the new Jerusalem like a set on TBN, just to see the expression on our faces.

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  107. Thank you for extending that grace that gave me the benefit of the doubt, Mike. I was careful in wording my reply to leave open the possibility I was wrong…but I guess not in this case.

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  109. Honestly, I think Chaplain Mike is giving a generous enough spin on the story. Secularists won’t be so nice in their interpretation. But I think we’re on to something. Here’s the message I received: Call in sick to work tomorrow so you can read the darned book as quick as possible. Dare I rebel against the voice of God?

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  110. “It’s hard to make up for the specific directed title with a general concluding remark that we all need to repent.”

    Exactly.

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  111. Wow dude. We don’t know Piper was wrong. And we don’t know he was right. However, it is pretty darned likely to be bogus. You can’t interpret theological messages from the weather and call it inspired. Saying it is a message from God is calling your interpretation inspired. To many vast leaps of logic there, and well worthy of jesting.

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  112. “He was not saying merely that the ELCA needs to repent in light of the disaster”

    If Piper was calling all to repentance in the post, perhaps he should have titled it “The Tornado, Us, and our Sin”, rather than “The Tornado, the Lutherans, and Homosexuality.” Its hard to make up for the specific directed title with a general concluding remark that we all need to repent.

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  118. “Or maybe, since Piper’s on sabbatical, Pat Robertson might want to chime in.”

    I can understand your frustration, Mike, but this riff smacks of a powerfully critical (jealous?) spirit that should be beneath you. Putting Robertson and Piper in the same sentence alone should have caused you to pause.

    Peace and Healing to you brother.

    Brad

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  120. Fabulously put, Chaplain Mike. I had a tough day, but this made it come out right! What a night cap. Perfect.! I had not heard the news. I suspect the deep down belly laugh I got out of reading this post shaped me a bit more like Jesus. I trust so. LOL

    Duane

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  121. It weirds me out how the Christian community finds it necessary to protect its celebrity preachers. John Piper knew what he was saying when he said it, and if it seems like an absurd statement, let him feel the heat for it (for the record, I think it seems like an absurd statement). He’s a popular and powerful man; he can handle some criticism. He thinks he is speaking Biblical truth, and I am sure he would have no trouble justifying his perspective should he be asked. I know he thinks the Haiti earthquakes are a work of God to show His might– he told NPR as much via interview. I notice no-one is refuting this criticism of Piper’s statement with any real theology or Bible. They’re just saying it isn’t fair to pick on Piper. The only thing we need to vehemently defend is Christ and Him Crucified. Let other theological prognosticators determine who gets punished for what sins; let us focus on ourselves and the tasks before us.

    I like 75% of Piper’s perspective, but lost a lot of interest in him ever since I read where he said that drug abusers are clearly unsaved because they are living in sin; any claims on their part that they believe in Christ are hollow (yes, he wrote this). Now, I don’t have a drug problem myself but I really think that I’ll let God decide what to do about people’s sins and their hearts. I fear that Piper has that law-grace-law sandwich down pat and that he has the key to God’s judgement. I fear God’s judgement, I don’t try to forecast it like I’m a weather man.

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  122. These comments in defense of Piper (in spite of the obvious intent of the post: humor!) just substantiate my suspicion that many in the Piper/Driscoll camp are embracing a new, Calvinistic Fundamentalism. It seems we just can’t escape fundamentalism. . . sigh.

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  125. I think you’re being unfair to Piper. What he said was basically along the lines of what Jesus said in Luke 13:1-5. It used to be commonplace for churches to interpret disastrous events as a call to consider their own sin and repent. Sure, they went overboard sometimes and forgot the lessons of the book of Job. But on the other hand, the certainty that we modern people have that no disastrous event can be interpreted as a call to repentance is just as wrong.

    Read carefully Piper’s words. He was not saying merely that the ELCA needs to repent in light of the disaster (though they certainly do!). He was saying that any and every disaster is a reminder of our need to turn away from sin or to be vigilant in opposing it. Woe to those who call evil good and good evil!

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  126. Having seen the pictures of the construct in question, I have no doubt but that this was indeed a message from the Lord.

    Possibly along the lines of “Leavebuilding massive statues of My Son to the Roman Catholics, like the one in Brazil.”

    🙂

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  127. I love how you feel the need to command people to laugh at something that was neither funny nor insightful. You cant just attack people (distorting their points) and tell people to just laugh at it. After a few years, this is definitely the last post I’ll be reading over here.

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  128. It is so shocking that lightning would strike church steeples and huge. . . uh. . . sculptures of Jesus (or anybody) sometimes!

    Maybe lightning is just no respecter of any tall structures, huh? Maybe none of it means a hill of beans and huge bridges do just fall down sometimes, huh?

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  129. Sense of humor. Please. Maybe just try. Some things do fit into the “just have to laugh” category. As I get older, I find that more and more things do, in fact. More and more every day.

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  130. The only thing that upsets me about this post is that Chaplain Mike wrote it before I had a chance to write my own.

    Hey, wait–I’m the publisher. Maybe I still will write my own. Matt, if you don’t like this by the Chaplain, please do not read mine…

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  131. To John Piper, I would say that in my limited experience, God rarely speaks through the whirlwind, opting instead for the still, small voice. 😉

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  133. Justin, I’m with Greg Boyd in his saying, “Sometimes huge bridges fall.” And sometimes tall things, including Jesus statues, get hit by lightning.

    Chaplain Mike…funny post! I wish we all could have a good sense of humor.

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  135. Worse than “You Spin Me ‘Round, Jesus” or “Holy Ghost Hokey Pokey”? Worse than singers on the Lawrence Welk Show singing, “One Toke over the Line”? Worse than “Ignatius” the hip youth pastor? Worse than “Ten Gift Ideas For a Fundamentalist Young Person Near You”? Worse than any one of a hundred essays on the “Truly Reformed”?

    “Laugh or else” is the category. Sheesh, Matt.

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  136. Piper et al were on my mind this morning when I heard about this, so thanks for repeating what I was thinking.

    I’m not an open theist, but I was finding myself in favor of what fellow Twin Cities pastor Greg Boyd said after the I35-W bridge disaster: Sometimes huge bridges fall. I’m from the Minneapolis area, so I’m more than a little amused when catastrophes happen and local pastors assign blame/credit to god.

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  137. How do we know that Piper wasn’t right? How do we know that God didn’t strike that thing down because of idolatry?

    We don’t, and yet you mock. I have been a long time fan and reader, but this post is simply, dumb. This might be the worst post I have seen at Internet Monk.

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  138. Well, I have been a faithful reader of this blog for many years. After todays post, I wonder how much longer it will be on my blog roll.

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  139. The next strike should be the praying hands statue/sculpture in Webb City, MO:

    If it hits it just right, it will ricochet off the hands and hit Precious Moments in nearby Carthage, MO.

    Just sayin’….

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  140. Having seen it just a few days before the lightening strike, I’d guess that large, bad art is used as target practice for the angels. BUT, what took them so long to get it down.

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  141. I always find it best to avoid meteorological theology (or would it be theological meteorology?), except to affirm that it rains — and shines — on both the righteous and the unrighteous.

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  142. This was the first thing that came to my mind when I read about it:

    He covers his hands with the lightning and commands it to strike the mark.–Job 36:32

    I don’t know what I’m sayin’… but I’m just sayin’… 🙂

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  143. In actuality, I think the greatest judgment God could visit on the church is to do nothing. Just simply let us wrap ourselves in TBN, Shelby Sponge, Elton John Jesus and God Hates Fags.

    The fact that people within all branches of Christianity are still striving to be deep and walk with Jesus is a vital sign of life.

    It gives me hope.

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  144. I remember an interviewee in a radio program once answering her preacher’s questioning of her picture of Jesus, “it’s not graven, it’s cardboard”.

    So in that context may I say, it wasn’t graven, it was foam and fiberglass.

    Also, if the Almighty is opposed to religious kitsch, should Family Christian Stores take out additional fire insurance?

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  145. Thou shalt not make a graven image of Michael nor bow down and worship it. I am the Lord thy God. (jn). 😉

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  149. Idoaltry for sure especially when people were collecting pieces of foam to remember it by. As for where is Piper, he is on a self-imposed hiatus, but I would have loved to hear his response.

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