â€œNo, Mom, it really wasnâ€™t that big.â€
â€œWell, I heard something about it on the news.â€
â€œAh, well, what you heard was that our senator, Jim Inhofe, decided not to ride his horse in the parade this year because the name was changed from Christmas Parade to Holiday Parade.â€
â€œOh. Well, I knew it was something.â€
It was something, all right. Something else to bring ridicule to our state. The city councilors even took up a vote to see if they would still issue a parade permit since the word â€œChristmasâ€ was dropped from the event. Just one more instance of the Christian protection racket practiced this time of year to try and force businesses—and parades—to â€œput the Christ back in Christmas.â€
It used to be in the old days that businesses needed to pay protection money to organized crime figures to keep anything bad from happening to their stores. By â€œanything bad,â€ I mean their stores going up in a ball of flame in the middle of the night. Or middle of the day, for that matter. Now it is organized religion that is forcing businesses to submit to their form of protection.
â€œIf you say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas, weâ€™ll put you on our â€˜naughty list.â€™ Weâ€™ll boycott you. Weâ€™ll mention your business in a sermon saying that you are the reason our country is going to hell on greased skids.â€
Merry Christmas, indeed.
Tell me, is your faith really so shallow that a clerk at Target saying Happy Holidays is going to make you rethink your salvation? Is that grocery bagger wearing a Seasonâ€™s Greetings button causing you to falter in your beliefs?
Or perhaps you think that by forcing businesses to put up Jesus Is The Reason For The Season signs they will win souls. Forcing employees to say â€œMerry Christmasâ€ will bring a great revival throughout the land. (By the way, you and Iâ€”and our sinsâ€”are the reason for the season. But that is another story.)
Itâ€™s the most wonderful time of the year. Except for that single mom working two jobs—ringing up groceries during the day, and waiting tables at night—who gets stiffed a tip because she didnâ€™t say Merry Christmas to that lovely â€œChristianâ€ family with three out-of-control kids and a husband who complained loudly that the chili wasnâ€™t spicy enough.
Itâ€™s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, except to that man putting up lights that read Seasonâ€™s Greetings in his yard who hears, â€œItâ€™s Merry Christmas, you jerk!â€ from the family driving by on their way to church.
The Christmas mafia is once again out in full force, doing its job to protect us all from the evils of the Happy Holidays gang.
Tell me, just how is Jesus lifted up by forcing one to accede to your holiday demands? How is the Son of God glorified in putting a business on the naughty list because they donâ€™t put up a Christmas tree? Is our God any less of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords because we arenâ€™t greeted with carolers singing O Holy Night when we run into the convenience store to get a gallon of milk? Do I represent Jesus well by verbally assaulting you because you have an inflatable Santa instead of an inflatable manger scene in your front yard?
Ok, maybe I shouldnâ€™t be ranting this close to Christmas. After all, it is supposed to be a happy time, a time of enjoying the season with your friends and family. If you can find it in your heart, take time to smile at an overworked clerk in the next store you visit. Ask them if you can pray for them about anything. Maybe even make a point to get to know them. And relax. As a recent commenter said, “If Christianity survived the persecution of the Roman Empire, it can probably handle the Gap offering generic holiday greetings.”
Happy Holidays from your friends here at Internet Monk.