And now a new front has opened on the war against those who don’t take the Bible literally and promote Evil-lution: the toy store.
Brian Thomas, science writer for ICR (The Institute for Creation Research) posted a dire warning on January 9 against perhaps the gravest threat yet assembled against the literal historical accuracy of Genesis. His piece, picked up by The Sensuous Curmudgeon and The Revealer, suggests that children are now being brainwashed even before they go to school by nefarious toy makers who are intent on spreading their secular worldview to our little ones.
Noah’s Ark has been a popular story for children, with its parade of colorful animals living in a floating zoo. But the small and cute boat often pictured in stories, toys, and games is so unlike the gigantic seaworthy vessel described in the Bible that it leaves a misleading impression. How could such a craft possibly have preserved animals and people through a real, historical global flood?
One example of this parody of the biblical Ark is a game for preschoolers produced by Rubik’s Cube toy maker Ideal. The Noah’s Ark Game looks innocuous enough, with a picture of colorful animals crowding the roof and deck of a boat barely large enough to hold them. But it misrepresents the Ark to such a degree that it undermines the feasibility of Scripture’s account of the Flood.
Pointing out that “unbelievers often use their personal interpretations of the Noah’s Ark account to try to demonstrate that the Bible is false…,” he warns against all “cute images” of Noah’s Ark, like those in this game, that might mislead our children.
And of course, Thomas takes the time in his article (with footnotes, even) to give us a detailed description of exactly how it all worked in the Ark, even as far as to tell us how Noah and the Mrs. fit the dinosaurs in and grew plants for food (that’s why God had ’em put a window in it, you know).
[None of which, of course, is in the Bible but is pure speculation. But let’s not even mention that. The spiritual well being of our children is at stake, after all.]
We simply must not yield to the temptation to let our children play with any toys that fail to reflect historically accurate depictions of Biblical history. Children must not be allowed to be silly or have fun or, God forbid, use their imaginations! They must be taught from the earliest ages a realistic portrayal of the Ark and its structural integrity, and how the birds and animals and dinosaurs and all survived the worldwide Flood, and how you can see the evidence of this Flood in the Grand Canyon, and how the Flood is the answer to all geological questions about the apparent age of the earth, etc., etc., etc. No false images should ever cloud their minds and prevent them from holding fast to these Biblical Truths™.
Of course, with my conspiratorial mind, I have another theory — Mr. Thomas is trying to eliminate the competition. My sources tell me that he is developing his own Noah’s Ark game for pre-schoolers, to be sold at Ken Ham’s Ark Adventure park. Dinosaurs included.