Another Look: Group Seeks to Ban Genesis

Posted byChaplainmikePosted inLaugh or else

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A Christian group, concerned about moral breakdown in American society, is pushing for a ban on the book of Genesis.

A spokesperson for “People Involved in Saving, Securing, and Defending the Old-Fashioned Family” (PISSDOFF), said that decent citizens have come together to protest the publication and distribution of Bibles containing Genesis. They say that our culture cannot go on promoting materials like Genesis to our children without devastating consequences.

Jonathan Fussminder, a parent and activist for the group said, “This book [Genesis] is a classic case of the devil’s bait and switch. It opens with an outstanding scientific depiction of how God created the universe 6000 years ago, but then you turn the page and you have two people running around naked in a garden! That’s Satan’s way. He draws you in with something that sounds good, and before you know it, you are looking at pornography. ‘They were naked and not ashamed’? That is exactly how the world wants us to feel about immorality! No shame! I wouldn’t want my boys reading a book like this for anything.”

When asked if that passage is the only one to which he and the other members of PISSDOFF objected, Fussminder rolled his eyes and said, “Oh my, no. Genesis is filled with R-rated material at best. You’ve got violent killings, parents having sex with their own children, men giving their wives away to harems to save their own skin, sodomy, lies, deceit, polygamy, child-slavery, seduction, and so many explicit sexual scenes and references that I’m embarrassed to even talk about them.”

When this reporter asked about the fact that some people consider Genesis to be “God’s Word,” Fussminder became animated. “God’s Word? God’s Word? That just shows how far into decadence we’ve fallen. Can you imagine a good and holy God inspiring a book like this? Can you imagine God asking parents to tell these stories to their children? They’d be warped for life!

“No, this most certainly is NOT God’s Word! How it got into the Bible we don’t know. I think the Catholics had something to do with it. The fact that it is in there may point to one of the most insidious conspiracies in history, and it’s time we uncovered the lie. We are pushing hard for publishers to delete Genesis from future Bibles. And we are also going to keep investigating. If Genesis got snuck in there, who knows what might be in some of the other books? As we speak, PISSDOFF has teams of readers combing through the other books in the Bible so that we can root out this kind of immoral and corrupting material.

“Just recently, I heard a rumor that the very next book, Exodus, may contain depictions of infanticide, murder, nightmarish and gory plagues straight from the latest horror movies, idol-worship, immoral partying, and more sexual perversion. Who knew? I certainly never read any of that from the Bible Promise Loaf we had on our kitchen table when I was a kid!”

So your work won’t be ending with Genesis? Fussminder was asked.

“No way!” he replied. “We’re PISSDOFF, and we are not going to take it anymore! We are here to protect the children of America from these sick and perverted influences, and we won’t stop until we’ve cleaned it all up, from Genesis to Revelation.”

(From 2011)

61 thoughts on “Another Look: Group Seeks to Ban Genesis”

  3. seems to me that two directions have led people into trouble:

    first was the whole effort to remove Christ as the ‘lens’ through which all of sacred Scripture should be interpreted

    secondly, the folks that insist on a strict ‘literal’ interpretation of everything in sacred Scripture, unless they feel that a certain passage is exempt from their own rule

    HOWEVER, if you have a group that BLENDS the two directions into one mammoth theology, you can get some really strange doctrines . . . with Our Lord no longer speaking and acting in the Person of God as the final and best revelation of ‘who God is’, then the strict literal images of a ‘wrathful God’ based on the OT will take over and you get some startling doctrines of ‘the God of Wrath’ . . . a god no way like Our Lord Himself . . . and what flows from this kind of ‘Christianity’ is ‘strident’ anger and finger-pointing by some very smug Pharisees . . . yep, that confluence of two ‘directions’ exponentially increases the ‘God of Wrath’ preachers like the ones observed teaching that ‘God hates sinners’ . . . if anyone wants the link, you would be surprised at the source (or maybe not) 🙂

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  6. The problem is that their description of God in the OT pages in many places (note, not all places) makes him seem like them, like us.

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  7. It’s not the depiction of Old Testament people that bothers me; it’s the depiction of God when he acts in an all-too human way, when he punishes the Israelites for not be obeying his harsh orders to the letter, when he delivers his chosen people over the their enemies for their failure to meet his standards, when he vindicates his prophet by having a bear tear apart a group of boys that had been ridiculing him. There’s a little of this depiction of God in the NT, too; a good example is when God in Acts strikes Annanias and Saphira dead one after the next for lying. This God who plays the “Game of Thrones” in the Bible is what generates my disquiet.

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  8. You mean this whole post is not true? This P…….. Group sounds like something that some Evangelicals would do Wait! Oh no! Did I say that? I thought that I’m an Evangelical guy? Now I can never hassle you guys again! What shall I do? Robert F was right. I’m.the new Faulty. Take 2 litergies and call me in the morning. I’m gonna ride through the desert on a horse with no name. Ahhhhhhhhhh

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  9. Sorry, this boy from the Land of Lincoln should have exercised more self-control. Let’s not get off on a serious tangent today. Don’t want to get people genuinely PISSDOFF.

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  15. Do you have any examples of people who a) identify as liberal or progressive and b) called for the removal of Huckleberry Finn (strictly because of its material, not because teachers didn’t know how to present it)? Most of the folks I found were guilty White wanna-be antiracists who got scared at the prospect of confronting racially-charged depictions in literature. Their opposition, from what I’ve read, were primarily progressive antiracist scholars, many of whom were persons of color.

    As far as the Confederate flag, scrubbing it from society has more to do with confronting the history of the South, especially following the Civil War. The folks who call for its removal are acutely aware of its history and, given the recent polling done on this subject, are more aware of that history than most folks who protest its removal.

    Sorry, but neither example is particularly relevant to this article.

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  21. The irony in this post is that progressives are more often the ones in the censorship business. Huckleberry Finn, for example, has been targeted for removal from public schools because of its portrayal of the South the way it really was, racial slurs and all. The overall meaning of the book is ignored in the meantime.

    I think the recent stampede to scrub the Confederate battle flag from our society is part of the same kind of movement.

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  23. Wanna bet? The top evangelical seminaries are full of professors who have done just that and still hold to inerrancy/infallibility. Never underestimate one’s need and ability to justify one’s systematic theology.

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  25. Phil Collins had a few songs here and there on Genesis Albums while Peter was lead (Ma, fool me – on Selling England by the Pound) so the transition to him was pretty smooth (Trick of the Tail was a great album)….

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  27. Hmm…. I always suspected that PISSDOFF was just a front for the People Against Goodness And Normalcy

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  29. I lost my childhood innocence when the Veggie Tales reenacted the Garden of Eden story.

    I have to bounce my eyes when I look at salad.

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  30. And when you get to the stuff about David’s kids, it’s positively a southern TLC network show script! Also illegal in most states, but since gay marriage there may be a slippery slope back to the old paths.

    Give me that old time religion…

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  35. I wasn’t much into pre-Gabriel Genesis. I liked Collins in the group. Oddly, I like Peter Gabriel solo, but can’t stand Phil Collins solo.

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  36. I suppose I’m a Cretin but I like Genesis, both the Peter Gabriel iteration and the Phil Collins one. And, Phil’s solo concert was one of the better ones I went to back in the day.

    Geez, next thing you know, everyone will be bagging on Duran Duran.

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  38. Eeyore…I almost spit yogurt out of my mouth laughing at your Collins/Genesis joke. Good one!!

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  41. Answer – no they have not thought it through. They’ll get to that right after they get around to actually *reading* the bible.

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  42. Very funny but I’ve always wondered if the enthusiasts for “hate speech” laws, many of whom are religiously motivated, have really thought it through. In reality both the Bible and the Koran could be litigated under such laws.

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  44. And to make an even finer distinction, Peter Gabriel era Genesis was better than post Peter Gabriel Genesis.

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  45. A lot of our arguments about the nature of inspiration would quickly disappear if people actually *read* the Bible, cover to cover, over and over again, instead of only encountering cherry-picked verses in isolation. I’m convinced that even the people who most ardently support “inerrancy” do not have a very good grasp of the totality of Scripture. If they did, they’d find it hard to adopt such a simplistic way of treating Scripture.

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  46. What about the the book of Judges (after Chapter 16)? That was one section I never really even read until I graduated from college. Once I did, I was like, “Can you explain what the big deal is with R-rated movies again?”

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  48. I have always felt the moral squalor of the OT was a credibility booster; not a negative. I read it and think… yea, sounds about right. No mistaking it for after-school-special try-to-be-good-and-always-be-nice pablum; those people were mean lusty bullying sneaking conniving…. like people.

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  49. I am pretty sure it is. There is no PISSDOFF on the Internet.

    And the guy in the picture is wearing a protest-T generally worn only by GHLs [God Hating Liberals], not Fundys; the line about Asheville being a “cesspool of sin” is courtesy of Senator Jim Forrester (R) [who is pretty well known for saying stupid things].

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  51. Funny that a group so concerned with immoral behavior would adopt the name PISSDOFF! Thanks for brightening my day – it’s a rainy one at that!

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  52. It may help to remember that the NT looks back on the OT people primarily as examples of faith (Heb 11) or as a warning about disobedience (I Cor 10). As moral exemplars? Err, not so much. Which is why the way the OT is taught in so many SunSchool curricula is so misleading…

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  53. I can laugh at the funny man depicted in the post, but that doesn’t eliminate my own disquietude at the “Game of Thrones” in the Old Testament. My laughter is a nervous one, because I recognize my own reflection in Mr. Fussminder, however distorted by the House of Mirrors.

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  55. “PISSDOFF” – brilliant, just brilliant.
    Well played CM. The desert seems to hone the wit.

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  56. Oh, come ON! Genesis was MUCH better than any of Phil Collins’ solo work!

    …oh. Wrong Genesis. Carry on.

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  60. This has to be a joke! Nobody could take this seriously, or if it isn’t, we have some modern-day Marcionites.

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