???? BIG GAME EDITION ????
There is some big game on in the US of A tomorrow night, and we begin today’s feast with a few ideas for your Sunday brunch:
When Justin Timberlake, who will perform at halftime, was asked about his little son donning a uniform one day, the singer responded immediately, “Uh, he will never play football. No, no.” However, if he did, you can be sure he’d try some moves worthy of his famous father. Like this one, for example:
AN OBIT FOR THE AGES — LEAVE ‘EM LAUGHING
Terry Wayne Ward, age 71, of DeMotte, IN, escaped this mortal realm on Tuesday, January 23rd, 2018, leaving behind 32 jars of Miracle Whip, 17 boxes of Hamburger Helper and multitudes of other random items that would prove helpful in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
Terry is survived by his overly-patient and accepting wife Kathy, who was the love of his life (a fact she gladly accepted sympathy for during their 48 years of marriage). He is also survived by daughters Rebecca (William) Hines and Jean (Jeff) Lahm; sister, Linda; brother, Phil; grandchildren: Alexander and Hannah Hines (The Mesopotamians), Daphne and Erin Pistello (The Daffer and Peanut), Brendan and Owen Lahm (Phineas and Ferb) and Tessa McMurry (Smiley).
He is preceded in death by his parents Paul and Bernice Ward, daughter Laura Pistello, grandson Vincent Pistello, brother Kenneth Ward, a 1972 Rambler and a hip.
Terry graduated from Thornridge High School in South Holland, IL, where only three of his teachers took an early retirement after having had him as a student. He met the love of his life, Kathy, by telling her he was a lineman – he didn’t specify early on that he was a lineman for the phone company, not the NFL. Still, Kathy and Terry wed in the fall of 1969, perfectly between the Summer of Love and the Winter of Regret.
Terry volunteered his service in the United States Army and was an active combat Veteran in the Viet Nam War.
He retired from AT&T (formerly Ameritech, formerly formerly Indiana Bell) after 39 years of begrudging service, where he accumulated roughly 3,000 rolls of black electrical tape during the course of his career (which he used for everything from open wounds to “Don’t use this button” covers).
He enjoyed many, many things. Among those things were hunting, fishing, golfing, snorkeling, ABBA, hiking Turkey Run, chopping wood, shooting guns, Bed Bath & Beyond, starlight mints, cold beer, free beer, The History Channel, CCR, war movies, discussing who makes the best pizza, The Chicago White Sox, old Buicks, and above all, his family.
He was a renowned distributor of popsicles and ice cream sandwiches to his grandchildren. He also turned on programs such as “Phineas and Ferb” for his grand-youngins, usually when they were actually there.
He despised “uppity foods” like hummus, which his family lovingly called “bean dip” for his benefit, which he loved consequently. He couldn’t give a damn about most material things, and automobiles were never to be purchased new. He never owned a personal cell phone and he had zero working knowledge of the Kardashians.
Terry died knowing that The Blues Brothers was the best movie ever, (young) Clint Eastwood was the baddest-ass man on the planet, and hot sauce can be added to absolutely any food.
NOW THIS OBIT IS JUST NOT RIGHT
Ever imagine you won a million bucks playing the lottery? Donald Savastano did.
And when he won and took the lump sum of over $660,000, he said modestly, “”Being a self-employed carpenter, I didn’t really have a plan for retirement…the money will help with that. I don’t have any other extravagant plans. I’ll buy a new truck, pay off some debt, and invest for the future.”
One of the things Savastano thought he should catch up on was seeing to his own health. Without health insurance, he had not been to the doctor for quite awhile, so he used some of the money to go see his physician.
There he discovered he had stage 4, terminal cancer. Three weeks later, on January 26, at age 51 Donald Savastano died.
If some well meaning religious type says there’s a reason, well, I think I might be capable of anything at that moment.
A COUPLE OF STUNNING PICTURE GALLERIES
First, a friend sent me this set of breathtaking shots of “liquid mountains” on Lake Erie roiling like the monsters of chaos were summoned. Click on each picture to see a larger image, and go to ABC News to see more.
Second, Amazon just revealed its new office project in downtown Seattle. It consists of three giant spheres that house, along with its workspaces, a conservatory with 40,000 plants from around the world. It took seven years of planning and building and 600 jobs were created to form this “rainforest” in the northwest.
Here are some of the remarkable shots from this new complex. Again, click on each to see a larger image, and you can see the full set of pictures at Bloomberg.
MEANWHILE, WHAT’S HAPPENING IN SCHOOL THESE DAYS?
I think I may have actually found that elusive “gift for the person who has everything.”
The Lucerne University of Applied Sciences and Arts (Luasa) will run a three-year bachelor’s degree and a two-year master’s.
The courses will begin in the 2018-19 academic year.
Or, perhaps a trip to Yale would do. There you could get in line for the most popular class in school history.
About 1,200 students signed up within a week after enrollment period opened to take Psyc 157, “Psychology and the Good Life.” That’s about one-quarter of all Yale undergraduates. It has earned the distinction of being the most popular course in Yale’s 316-year history. The demand was so great that the course lectures were moved to Woolsey Hall, home of the Yale Philharmonia.
According to the New York Times, “the course ‘focuses both on positive psychology—the characteristics that allow humans to flourish…and behavioral change, or how to live by those lessons in real life.’ It includes weekly ‘rewirement’ assignments, like performing acts of kindness and forming new social connections.”
Here’s one of those who successfully passed the course:
THEY’LL LITERALLY PUT YOU OUT ON YOUR ASS
I hope students everywhere will learn to avoid the penalty this cafe has imposed for those who pollute the air with one of our most aggravating adverbs:
And you thought Internet Monk’s moderation policy was strict!
COOLEST DISCOVERY OF THE WEEK
Researchers using a mapping technique known as LiDar (Light Detection And Ranging), which bounces pulsed laser light off the ground, revealing contours hidden by dense foliage, found that perhaps 10 million more Mayan people than previously thought lived in the dense jungles of Guatemala’s Peten region between roughly 1,000 BC and 900 AD.
The technique revealed tens of thousands of previously undetected Mayan houses, buildings, defense works and pyramids, along with evidence that Mayan agriculture was much more extensive and land-altering than thought in the past.
In all, the mapping detected about 60,000 individual structures, including four major Mayan ceremonial centers with plazas and pyramids.
FINALLY, AN IMONK PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
Avoid the cesspool of funky flu.