Hello, friends, and welcome to the weekend. Hungry for some brunch?
We have lots on the brunch buffet today. Mostly lighter fare this week. But one thing we won’t be serving is this:
That, my friend, is ham-flavored ice cream. Yes, an ice cream emporium in the Garden State, Windy Brow Farms, has raised eyebrows by launching a new flavor mixing ice cream and ham. So, if you love ice cream and you love ham….well, you’re still going to hate this. The concoction combines maple-flavored ice cream, chunks of challah French toast and pieces of caramelized Taylor ham. Two pounds of the porky product is mixed into each 2 1/2 gallon container of ice cream.
What’s Taylor ham? Well, apparently it’s a Jersey thing. According to Modern Farmer magazine, Taylor ham is a processed pork loaf, somewhere in between Canadian bacon and Spam, that is central to New Jersey cuisine. In northern New Jersey, it’s usually called Taylor ham (after a manufacturer) while in the south of the state it goes by pork roll. Just what I need…yet another reason to never visit New Jersey.
Saw this sign. Can’t figure out why they want to ban the world’s coolest dog: 
President Trump repeated on Wednesday that he is seriously thinking of creating a sixth branch of the military called the “Space Force.” No, they won’t patrol the distant reaches between him and Melania. Rather, Trump laid out the rationale, as usual, very eloquently: “We should have a new force called the Space Force….It’s like the Army and the Navy, but for space, because we’re spending a lot of money on space.”
At first, I was excited. I mean, the battle between Trump’s Space Force and Elon Musk’s Space Mercenaries is going to be fantastic. But then I realized the whole thing is a blatant ripoff. We’ve already had a Space Force, and here is a documentary to prove it:
Oh, and I have to add this, just because its fun:
Kanye West is under fire for an interview with TMZ where he described slavery as “a choice.” You know, it’s never a good sign when the moral high ground in a room is held by the people of TMZ. A LOT of people were pissed at Kanye about this. Rapper Snoop Dogg posted a photoshopped image of Kanye West with white skin to punish Kanye for losing his black street cred. Snoop then returned to his cooking show with Martha Stewart. 
7-Eleven has announced they are going to be offering healthier options for their customers. The CEO said, “We want our customers to live to be as old as one of our hot dogs.”
Say it ain’t so, Sven: Sweden Officially Admits that Swedish Meatballs Are Actually Turkish. My whole life is a lie.
A New Jersey schools superintendent was arrested Monday when officials discovered he had been defecating on a rival high school’s football field “on a daily basis,” police said.
Thomas Tramaglini, 42, was charged with lewdness, littering and defecating in public, police said Thursday. The Kenilworth schools superintendent was arrested after surveillance video caught him in the act on Holmdel High School’s football field.
Authorities began hunting for the “mystery pooper” after Holmdel High School staff and coaches for football and track reported finding human feces on or near the field nearly every day.
By the way, Tramaglini makes almost $150,000, and teaches at Rutgers as a side gig.
A California man who police say was drunk and hungry broke into a Taco Bell this weekend in the middle of the night and ate taco ingredients. So, its one of those cases where the punishment is the crime. By the way, do you know what do you do after placing an order at Taco Bell? Look the cashier dead in the eyes and say “Remember, we never had this conversation.”
Whole Foods is under fire for helping fund an Asian restaurant called “Yellow Fever.” The restaurant is owned by a Korean woman, Kelly Kim, who says she wants to reclaim the racist term. Hmmm. Nor sure about this one, Ms. Kim. Even if people get past the way the term has been used racially, “yellow fever” still has its origins as the name of a wasting and deadly disease. One that is still prevalent in South America and Africa, and has killed tens of thousands since 2010. Is that really the branding you want?
Want to hear the first recording of the spiritual, Swing Low, Sweet Chariot (1909 by Fisk University Jubilee Quartet)? Here you go.
Is part of Hitler’s jawbone in a cigarillo box in Russia? Hard to say, but Jean-Marie Pottier explains why some people care.
Why does everyone hate Richard Nixon? He isn’t cool:
He was often deceitful and in crucial respects unprincipled, but hardly less so than his predecessor, Lyndon Johnson, whom many modern biographers have gone out of their way to praise on the grounds that he expanded the American welfare state, though the empirical evidence of its success is lacklustre at best. Nixon had his enemies spied on and used federal agencies to bully them, but other presidents, before and since, have done the same, and in any case hatred for Nixon long predated post-Watergate revelations of his paranoid vindictiveness. John Farrell, in Richard Nixon: The Life, comes close to the answer when he observes, near the beginning of his account, that ‘there is cool and there is square, and Richard Milhous Nixon was nothing if not square’. Coolness – the quality of appearing self-possessed, at ease with oneself – became an essential part of democratic politics with the rise of television. That happened roughly from the time Nixon was urged to run for Congress in 1945 (where Farrell’s book begins) to the time he was defeated by John Kennedy in the 1960 presidential contest.”
This made me chuckle:
So did this: 
And now some words in praise of puns:
Puns are embedded in everything people don’t like—advertising, novelty menu items, morning news show banter, movie review headlines—and often delivered with a certain smirking expectancy. The point too often seems to be less about the clean feng shui of inventive wordplay, than the fact that someone has made a pun at all. The good news is that puns are also embedded in everything people do like, and in the right hands they are tiny word-shaped miracles.”
The dirty secret of puns is that people like them when they’re terrible as much as they do when they’re great. They just don’t like them anywhere in between. When puns are truly great, though, it’s undeniably impressive. There’s a kind of math undergirding most jokes, but puns are especially equational. Making one out of unlikely elements floating around in the air is like solving a verbal speed-puzzle. T
he best ones make you wonder how on Earth a person came up with something so perfect so quickly.
Speaking of puns, yesterday was the High Holy Day for Star Wars aficionados: May the Fourth be With You. Someone working for Heathrow airport has a good sense of humor:
Why not add to the fun with some random Star Wars humor?
Here is some …great news. Hallmark will produce 34 Christmas movies in 2018. And…my wife will want to see them all.
Let’s end with some photos of the week, courtesy of The Atlantic:
The Internet Monk Archives 
Another commonality with Christianese Leaders and Culture War Commanders.
Yet another reason why Christians are some of His most FANATICAL supporters, He fits all their indicators of being God’s Anointed, even more Anointed than their Celebrity Megapastors.
Like the Holiness church kid who convered to Mormonism because “Mormons don’t drink or smoke”, i.e. their behavior fit his former church’s indicators of True Christians, only even more so.
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Virtue Signalling, i.e. rubbing MY Righteousness in the faces of all the Unrighteous.
See the French Revolution for an example of how far this can go, with all the factions succeeding each other during the Reign of Terror.
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I’m traumatized and speechless. I’ve been assaulted and I have no one to turn to. I hear schmaltzy echoes of, “The Svwartz is with you.”
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I’ll check ’em out!
Just did! Sounds like he’s kinda successful…LOL!
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But if since your’e really unhappy, we’re sending you a refund. Your Czech’s in the mail.
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Yes.
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I don’t know about that, but you should definitely not have worn that Czechered shirt.
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Jeremiah has a few puns too. And there are puns or alliterations from John the Baptist and Jesus, if the Greek is translated back into the Aramaic.
stones / children; gnat / camel
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Congratulations to both of you! Those are big days to be celebrated. I look forward to reading both of your books.
Rick, our oldest son is also a writer in the sci-fi genre. Some of his books are the Wayward Pines series and Dark Matter(/i).
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They probably look at us the way many of us look at Syria – “I do NOT want to get sucked into that quagmire…”
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And I do not believe in baseball. 😉
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I should never have Czeched in on this thread.
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For those who go to North Myrtle Beach (Cherry Grove) there is a restaurant called “Tar Babys” with a cartoon (1920’s like) African American child on the sign. Although it comes from the second of the Uncle Remus books and also means “sticky situation” it could be taken hugely the wrong way for those who don’t know this. They sell tee-shits too with the moniker….
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Rick Ro. Thanks for speaking for all the white people. After seeing the White House Press event last week I would say the white press has lost their sense of humor for sure. White people cannot jump, dance and now laugh , what is next? Wait, I hear a sound, it may be a stereo type device I hear with my dog whistle ears, learned that phrase recently
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We have not heard from SUSAN DUMBRELL in a while. Hope all is reasonably well with her. Susan, please let us hear from you. Thanks.
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A show of hands! Does everyone agree?
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I know someone who does it and says he thinks it helps even out the bitter.
Here’s an article about it:
https://drinks.seriouseats.com/2012/12/should-you-put-salt-in-your-coffee-reduce-bitterness.html
Given what I’ve heard and read, I think the taste is impacted for the worse only if you over-do the salt.
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If you’re a Czech who’s gotten advanced airport security approval are you a TSAPreCzech?
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That Space Force show… Holy cow! The production values…. Hilarious!!
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You should Czech it out.
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LOL! Yes!
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i.e. “I like my sense of humor when it’s at your expense.”
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And I think this is where us white-folk really miss the boat. We’re pretty quick to say, “Oh, have a sense of humor, don’t get so offended,” but we’ve become rather humorless ourselves.
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Not sure I want to know what Czechs Cereal is made of…
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Headless U Guy, I am only familiar with the Book of Andy .
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You surprise me, I seem to have free access to it.
Story goes that a young man joined a FB group discussing the good and bad among Jersey businesses. It took him a year or so to work out that this as not New Jersey, but Jersey the island not far from France… and the locals brought him and his girlfriend over for a holiday.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/world-europe-jersey-43842740/tourist-takes-crowdfunded-trip-to-british-islands
(if they don’t geoblock you).
Even Fox News have the story:
http://www.foxnews.com/travel/2018/05/01/accidental-tourist-gets-free-trip-to-british-island-after-mistaking-it-for-new-jersey.html
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The pork/ice cream concoction obviously originated as one of those mixtures that seem completely logical when you get home with a monstrous buzz at 4am on a Saturday morning after an all nighter. Like dunking pound cake into barbecue sauce.
Not any worse than pineapple on pizza. Yuck.
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My parents used to spend winters in Florida before I was born and one of their favorite restaurants was nicknamed “Ptomaine Palace.” That wouldn’t have worked if it had been the real name, whatever that was. It was a popular place, probably on the rustic side.
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They don’t need as many doctors as other countries, since they can all do Czech-ups.
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My wife worked for a while at this little Presbyterian church in North Jersey. One of the older congregants there who was in the rotation to make the coffee for coffee hour showed me how he put a little salt in the urn with the water and ground coffee, to neutralize the bitterness, he said. I never noticed any difference.
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Hitler is very popular “brand” in Southeast Asia. Mein Kampf is a consistent bestseller on the Amazon Indian website.
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The truck driver’s oasis, and refuge.
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The American taxpayers should just send the POTUS a big blank check. That would make him real happy — he loves OPM.
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That’s because of two things: 1) His gargantuan, bullying, humorless ego, and 2) He’s hiding something really bad, and he’s afraid that he’s about to be found out.
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Right there with you! When I came to Texas I really missed popping into a diner. You might even say there is something terribly wrong with a place that doesn’t have a diner. There actually are a few places in the Dallas area now that are diner-esque so I’m placated for the time being. Diner coffee is sooo good. They must all buy from the same distributor. Bacon egg and cheese on a hard roll, toasted corn muffin, home fries yada yada yada! Great stuff!
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I’ll remember that when I pour coffee for my dire enemies.
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They are on Long Island, too!
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–> “We need to all keep a sense of humor these days.”
While I agree with that, it’s much easier to say that when you’re not the one being offended. Case in point…look at President Trump. The guy reacts to everything with great offense, showing very little sense of humor.
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Yep.
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He really does have the knack for this kind of thing.
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I’m about to have my two-book sci-fi series published, too! Mine should be coming out late this summer! Good luck in the process!
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Yep.
I have to believe there’s an online dating service for Czechs somewhere called Czech-Mate.
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Greek diners, open 24/7, every day year round, where you can have anything on the menu, including breakfast, anytime, are the best!
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If the only difference between a friendly word and a fighting word is the pronunciation of a single consonant, there’s gonna be trouble…
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When the craze reaches “salt in coffee”, let me know.
Salt + Coffee is supposed to be one of the foulest-tasting combinations in existence.
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I can’t knock Jersey food. Spent over a decade in deepest New Jersey and fell in love with the Greek diners with the great home-cooked food that was reasonably priced. We have nothing like it here where I live now and a trip to Jersey is always highlighted by a return to the diners . . . . the fresh-cooked eggplant parmigiana, the home-made cheese cake, the fish dinners cooked from fresh fish, the salads and yes, Greek salad is to die for, the abundance of the serving sizes . . . . . them Greeks know how to feed people right
And if you are in northern Jersey long enough, you might make it to one of the apple-stands in the fall, where home-made bubbling cider is the best you can get . . .
so go north for a good meal . . . . but don’t stay too long . . . . . Jersey can be habit-forming and FATTENING 🙂
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Doesn’t matter.
Trump proposed it so all the usual Amen Chorus of Christians will be for it.
(SF author and political consultant Jerry Pournelle actually proposed the idea some 30 years ago; “Holding the High Ground” is key in many military strategies, and space is the Ultimate High Ground. Plus, if other countries (Russia & China being the main contenders) militarize space, we will have to follow suit to survive.)
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I have channeled Walter Reed to get his view on how t handle the Yellow Fever issue, he suggest that netting over bedding and to drain the swamp is the only way to cure Yellow Fever. I have contacted Congress and told them to drain the swamp but to no avail.
I will not visit the racist White Castle hamburger chain as it belittles my ancestors who were not admitted into the castle due to their low social and economic standing. Why can a hamburger be judged by the content of its patty? , but like hot dogs that may not be a good idea. Talk about a slippery slope.
Now I am able to go and dine with the Burger King, who caters to me, who lets me have it my way. America is one great country and that is no whopper
Actually one of the cures for Yellow Fever is Saigon Tea and I have bought many for many a lovely lady.
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According to footnotes in the RSV, every vision in the Book of Amos in the Tanakh is based around a groaner of a bad pun in Hebrew.
“Yes, it’s dumb — but I bet you remember it!”
— Rich Buhler, about a similarly-punny radio commercial on his show
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Robert F,
sounds like StBndct is opposed to political correctness in speech . . . . problem is that in the end, some of those who oppose ‘political correctness’ will themselves resort to the worst kind of labeling of others and then they will dare you to call them ‘racists’ or ‘homophobes’ or ‘Islamophobes’
it’s a game that no one wins
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Rule 1: People Say Stupid Sh*t.
Rule 2: See Rule 1.
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When I was a kid, my father told me about a local restaurant called “The House of Heartburn”; said the food was good, but the name ended up killing it.
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Intercultural cluelessness.
Like that restaurant in Tokyo I heard about in proto-Anime fandom some 30 years ago:
“The Happy Hitler”.
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According to Blastphamous HD on YouTube, the difference is the “empowering for Blacks to use it” version does NOT have the Hard “R” at the end. “That Hard R makes all the difference.”
P.S. In a sane world, the N-word should have been used only for “Black Trash”, i..e. the black version of White Trash. THAT usage would have made more sense.
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“Cinco de Drinko” to us Anglos.
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Sounds a lot like the bacon/strawberry/chocolate pizza from that episode of Hotel Hell…
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a soft breeze
cools my face
and thoughts
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I wish Black Americans would stop using the word. I understand the idea that it is supposed to be empowering for Blacks to use it, a kind of deflation of the term, for those who were formerly subject to it to take possession of it and use it ironically and jokingly. But it is often used as a term of abusive power-playing among Black people, almost as vicious as when it was used by Whites in the old days (some Whites still use it that way today, among their own racist kind for the most part), and it gives the idea to many Whites, especially younger ones, that in terms of popular culture, it’s okay to use the word, as long as irony is intended. This word is just too explosive and volatile, and should be retired, except for historical and reporting purposes.
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Me ‘n the lovely Nancy Downes, were on a date to the Hollywood Bowl who’s opening act that night was Jimmy Hendrix, who I had never heard of. I was awed. He was amazing.
Two weeks later Nancy dropped me like a hot potato. A wise choice on her part in retrospect. She was quite bright. A few years later she married a friend of mine.
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Ivan Drago is as iconic 80s as “sweep the leg”!
Go Dolph!
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A Black American feels the same way you do about a clothing store in Malawi.
I can only imagine the discussion that led to that name.
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Feliz Cinco de Mayo a todos Ustedes gringos
Abajo los franchutes Arriba Juarez
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I am so old , I remember when the N word was Negro.
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Richard H. I would like to read it but I do not believe in evolution.
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> And you are going to be the one to tell us where ?
That implies the availability of coercive power to enforce one’s views. No such power exists here – – – that does not prevent anyone from having their views, or expressing them.
Aside: we all assert where those lines are about all manner of things every single day. What is a speed limit? Or parking regulations? Or the hours-of-operation of a business? [open on Sunday or not].
People are entirely free to feel that the name is stupid, tasteless, racists – or amusing. Practically, however, if a bunch of people are talking about if the name of your business is any of those things – it isn’t working as a good name for a business.
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Strangest part about joining Lutheran, they have an obsession with puns.
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I’m going to tell you where my own ability to define the line matters: In my decision about whether or not to make a public comment or protest about the name he is giving his establishment. If it goes over my line, I will speak up, and maybe find others who feel as I do, and put my voice together with theirs, and make it as expensive as possible for him to keep that name as we can. Got a problem with that, take it up with the First Amendment.
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Of course it is his business; and if someone wants to criticize his choice, that’s their business, not his. If he doesn’t like it, he can just ignore the media and critics and the protestors and the boycott, and remember to keep his sense of humor.
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But think of the parade we could have!!
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If a black person wanted to name his restaurant that name it is his business. You say a line has to be drawn somewhere. And you are going to be the one to tell us where ? If it impacts the marketplace it will probably go out of business. Everyone can make up their mind to go or stay away.
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And besides, nobody is talking about promulgating a law preventing the restaurant from being called “Yellow Fever”. But as a business or business person, making and implementing decisions that impact the public marketplace, you have to expect that people are going to weigh in with their opinions on those decisions, and there may be financial repercussions for your choices. As a business person, you need to keep a sense of humor; if someone’s negative opinions about your decisions offend you, you can ignore them. Just don’t think that you should be able to operate in the public marketplace risk free when it comes to decisions like what you will name your restaurant.
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On the basis of your argument, do you think we should all just “keep a sense of humor” if a Black person opened a restaurant called “N****r Cafe”? If that’s your position, I disagree entirely; a line has to be drawn somewhere, though there will naturally be disagreement about exactly where.
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The only possible reason for putting pork roll in ice cream is that it is very salty and there’s a bit of a craze with putting salt and caramel in ice cream these days. Having said that, please spare me. Now if you want to give me some eggs with pork roll, a little ‘Scrapple’ and some toast we can talk.
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Better than bacon!
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Is the idea behind a Space Force to militarize outer space? How big of a cover would that give to expanding the military budget by a factor of what, 10 or a thousand, so that all those weapons dealers could make even more money than they do now? And the Pentagon could become even more powerful than it is now? No, no thank you. Outer space has already been militarized enough with taxpayer money; we don’t need a Space Force to justify bloating military budget even more than now.
God, I’ve come to hope that there is a technologically advanced, highly intelligent race of benign extraterrestrials, that they are monitoring us closely, and if we go beyond a certain point they will firmly put us in our place, drawing a red line in the solar winds that we won’t even have any idea how to cross. Call them the angels at the gate of Eden.
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has a slogan that says, “Wong Brothers Laundry Service — Two Wongs Can Make It White” in prominent lettering beside two smiling figures in conical hats.
Another portrays a man pulling a rickshaw. “Rick Shaw’s Hoagies and Grinders,” it reads. “Order by the foot. Good meat. Quick feet.”
For those offended by Yellow fever try these other two on. They were shirts sold by the hip Abercrombie and Fitch
We need to all keep a sense of humor these days. As for Yellow fever the store is owned by an Asian woman who can name it anything she wants. If it offends you don’t eat there.
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🙂 the “czech-mates” really made me chuckle
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Couldn’t open it without logging in, which I don’t like to do
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Congrats. Very cool
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Thanks John
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Hmmm…I’ll take your word for it, Robert.
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Yeah, I kinda messed up the posting date on this one…
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Daniel Jepsen, thank you for the great mix of info , fact and fun you do . I really enjoy it and look forward to it. Keep up the good work
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Rick Ro. Funny, I just dropped by to check on things and saw the photo from the Czech Republic demonstrating their lack of good dental care. Someone has to do checks on the Czechs as it seems they have misplaced Slovakia and the O that went with it.
. Their government like ours is based on Czechs and balances but now that they dropped Slovakia they have lost their balance and as well as the O. The biggest debate is on breakfast cereal, there are the rice Czechs and the corn Czechs , a 50/50 split so they cancel each other out, they are truly cancelled Czechs. I know that the Czech people have a hard time traveling as no one wants to take an out of town Czech even married couples known as Czech Mates in Prague. I worry about the Czechs as many just want to cash out but again most of the EU is worried about bouncing Czechs. I know in international chess matches they usually lose on a technical point as they declare Me Mate when they are in the winning position. I have a friend who has never picked up a Czech in his life and he goes to Europe a lot. He got in political trouble in Prague when he suggested that the Czech be split, he offered to go Dutch but due to their checkered past the Czechs did not want to. Now he is traveling to St. Petersburg trying to drum up business. I find the St. Pete drummers hard to beat and he will be checking? them out.
It is hard to get a Czech to stay focused as they so often Czech out but when they are away they do check in so it is all so confusing.
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In personal news, I turned into my editor the manuscript for my book on the evolution of the rules of baseball. It should be about a year to actual publication, if everything goes smoothly.
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Hey Daniel,
Here’s another reason not to go to New Jersey: https://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2018/04/30/mistook-island-jersey-for-state-new-jersey-residents-crowdfunded-visit-for-him/Wxa9v5sA1kgTs65LviFFBJ/story.html
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“in praise of puns”
Please, don’t encourage John Barry to pun more than he already does!
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Apparently, besides dissing Kanye and dishing with Martha, Snoop Dogg has also released a gospel album. I haven’t heard any of it, but the reviews I’ve read have been very positive.
Here’s a sample.
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I grew up in North Jersey. Trust me, if you ever tasted fried Taylor’s ham, you would instantly fall in love with it. I can’t stomach Spam, and ordinary pork roll is pedestrian at best, but Taylor’s ham is almost a delicacy, and hard to get anywhere but in Jersey. Along with Laird’s Apple Jack, it is a truly proud product of New Jersey, but to mix it with ice cream is a form of desecration.
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FIRST POST – 24 hours early!
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