The Egypt Exploration Society has recently published a Greek papyrus that is likely the earliest fragment of the Gospel of Mark, dating it from between A.D. 150–250. A couple years ago, some scholars had teased the fragment would date from the first century. Even though it’s not quite that old, it is still quite a bit older than any other Marcan fragment.
ABC fired Roseanne after she sent out a racist and offensive tweet. She later apologized and blamed it on Ambien. The makers of Ambien were quick to point out that racism is not, in fact, a side effect of their drug.
Of course, not everyone thought comparing a black woman to apes was racist. I mean, c’mon. Roseanne didn’t actually say, “I’m racist and I hate blacks”, did she? No. So there is room for interpretation, right?
Radio Host Bill Mitchell: I’m not sure how saying someone looks like a child of “Muslim Brotherhood and Planet of the Apes” is racist. I thought “Muslim Brotherhood” was supposed to be a “good” thing and Liberals say we are descended from apes? What am I missing here?
Ted Nugent: So Roseanne referencing a movie title is racist. Lying dishonest soulless freaks from Planet of the Apes.
CRTV host Gavin McInnes: So we’re all going to sit here and pretend that Roseanne meant that joke in a racist way?
Alex Jones: “If you compare some black lady to looking simian, well there’s a reason because we are primates. That’s why there are so many comparisons to humans and monkeys and to apes, because some people look more like it than others. There are some white people that look more like apes than other white people, there are some black people that look more ape-like than other black people. I look ape-like. With my shirt off, in my birthday suit, I look like a gorilla. I mean, I don’t have to work out. I’ve got a big chest, big arms, big legs, I’m bow-legged, my feet are flat. My dad is somewhat simian-looking too. It’s just the way it is, and I’m proud of it.”
So, this happened at a baseball game last week, providing more action and entertainment in 90 seconds than the game provided in three hours:
Did you hear about the new food for your cook-out: Carrot Dogs. Yeah. That’s right. You put a carrot in a hot dog bun and throw some ketchup on it. The Washington Post puts it more elegantly:
Choose the largest, thickest carrots you can find; they shrink during cooking, and you can always trim the narrow end to fit the bun.
Serve these carrot dogs nestled in buns with the toppings such as vegetarian chili, cheddar, chopped onion, sauerkraut, kimchi, pickles/relish, ketchup and spicy mustard. Make Ahead: The charred and peeled carrots can be refrigerated for up to 1 week; reheat them on a grill or in a 200-degree oven.
Paige Patterson was stripped of all titles and privileges. A week after trustees voted to immediately shift Patterson to “president emeritus” at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary (SWBTS), the board’s executive committee has stripped the Southern Baptist stalwart of all “benefits, rights and privileges.” Last Tuesday, a former SEBTS graduate student told The Washington Post that after she reported her rape to Patterson and fellow seminary officials in 2003, they failed to notify authorities and the former president encouraged her to forgive the perpetrator. Patterson did not respond to the claims, but SEBTS launched an internal review of its own.
You know what I love? The annual Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards (now in its fourth year). Contributions are still being sent in, but they have released a few favorites so far:
Jesse Duplantis made news this week when he asked his followers to pony up 54 million for a new jet. Of course, he already has a jet, silly… “but I can’t go it one stop. And if I can do it one stop, I can fly it for a lot cheaper, because I have my own fuel farm. And that’s what’s been a blessing of the Lord.” Besides, he’s just being Christlike: “If the Lord Jesus Christ was physically on the earth today, he wouldn’t be riding a donkey. He’d be in an airplane flying all over the world.”
Duplantis’ fellow-evangelist Kenneth Copeland recently upgraded to a new jet as well. If you have five minutes and a VERY strong stomach, you can see the two men defend their aquisition of these jets:
Later in the week, the Babylon Bee reported some good news for Duplantis:
DESTREHAN, LA—In a public appearance with the prosperity gospel televangelist Tuesday, Lucifer the Prince of Darkness committed to matching all donations dollar for dollar that disciples of Jesse Duplantis make for his new private luxury jet.
“I hereby vow to double every dollar you give to help my friend Jesse get his new $54 million Falcon 7X,” Satan said at the press conference, as a smiling Duplantis looked on. “Together, we can help him reach his fundraising goal and spread his demonic message of abundance and prosperity all across the globe.”
“Please, if you can find it in your heart, make a love offering today,” Satan added in a solemn plea.
Satan promised to wire the funds from his account in the underworld straight to Duplantis’s ministry as soon as he reaches half of his fundraising goal. The pair claim to have had a long working relationship, with Satan contributing his demonic power to the minister’s last three jet purchases and helping to provide a large portion of the televangelist’s underlying theology.
Let’s end with some pictures of the week, courtesy of the Atlantic