The IM Saturday Monks Brunch: July 27, 2019
Today’s Brunch is a “politics free” zone. We had enough of that yesterday, as you can see in the action shot above, taken from yesterday’s comment section. So today, just relax, laugh, and tend your wounds.
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No politics — well, except maybe for this…
A dark horse presidential candidate has come out of nowhere: Larry the Cucumber. He shot to fame almost immediately after his promise of giving everyone a water buffalo.
“When I am president, everyone will have a water buffalo,” he said at a campaign speech. “Yours may be fast, and mine may be slow, but the important thing is that we’re achieving total equality when it comes to water buffalo possession in this nation.” Cucumber admitted he doesn’t have a plan, however, for where he will get them. “Where will we get them? Uh… I don’t know. But everyone will have a water buffalo!”
Larry could win the evangelical vote, but these pop culture standards never will…
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Here at the Saturday Brunch, we proudly serve…
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Bob Dylan Set to Release “Even Slower Train Coming” Album
After turning 75 this week, legendary folk-rock artist Bob Dylan has decided to go back into the studio and remix some of his classic albums so they will appeal more to people his own age…and also to Mennonites.
Mennonites have always appreciated Dylan’s nasal voice, and have imitated his signature sound in their church singing. Dylan, it seems, is finally capitalizing on his popularity with the conservative religious group, by re-releasing his seminal Christian rock album “Slow Train Coming,” this time at half the tempo.
“In addition to slowing it right down, I’ve also eliminated drums and electric guitar. It’s basically an a cappella album – Mennonites love that stuff,” said Dylan from his Malibu mansion. “For decades people thought that Christian music thing was just a phase. But now the gospel train is back, and it’s slower than ever!”
Label execs are enthusiastic about the new speed, and believe it can appeal to more than just Mennonites.
“We kind of feel that Dylan can be the new Chris Tomlin, but, like, you know, slower,” said Columbia rep Marilynn Bouton. “If we can get his songs sung in worship services, this album’s gonna sell like hotcakes. He’s really hit on an untapped niche–and that is Christian songs sung really really really slow.”
Dylan’s label has also sent thousands of clothespins to American churches. An accompanying letter encourages church worship leaders to affix the clothespin to their noses to replicate that unmistakable Dylan sound.
Unfortunately, it will probably end up looking and sounding like this…
What would Brother Martin say?
And more on church music…
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Recent Odd News Stories…
Montreal’s Annual “Just For Laughs” Festival…
Montreal’s annual Just For Laughs festival is best-known as a showcase for current and future stars of stand-up comedy. Not as well known to people who’ve never been here is that laughs of all kinds can be found outdoors, for free, throughout Montreal’s cultural district, the Quartiere des Spectacles. Professional musicians, magicians, acrobats, jugglers, puppeteers — the outdoor performers’ punch lines don’t need words. That helps, since Just For Laughs/Juste Pour Rire is a bilingual festival for both French and English speaking performers and fans. The outdoor side is also family friendly so the streets — closed off to cars, not clowns — are crawling with kids.
“This year I told my team that I want people to laugh at every 15 feet,” says Patrick Rozon, Vice President for all content — indoors and out — for Juste Pour Rire, the Francophone side of the festival. He says what happens outdoors is just as highly programmed as what happens inside the comedy clubs.
• From NPR
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It sounds like a movie…
David Glasheen built a multi-million dollar mining company in Australia. Then he lost it all in the stock market crash of 1987. Then his marriage broke down. His life was dramatically transformed and began spiraling out of control.
Then one day a friend happened to mention remote Restoration Island in far north Queensland, 2500km from Sydney. David Glasheen arrived there to see it for himself 22 years ago, and he has never left. Glasheen has survived ever since by catching his own fish, trapping rainwater, and eating veggies from his garden and fruit from four native fruit trees he planted. Once a year he travels to Cairn for a big shopping expedition. He keeps food in a small solar-powered freezer or in freezers on friends’ boats.
He has developed good relationships with commercial fishermen in the area and welcomes locals from the town of Lockhart (about 40 km away) for company. Other than that, it’s just Glasheen, the dingoes and crocodiles.
Glasheen is getting ready to turn 76 years old, and he broke a hip earlier this year. But he has recovered, and he lives, he says, by “managing danger” each and every day.
More than anything else, David Glasheen says that Restoration Island did exactly that for him. In fact, Glasheen says he’ll see out his final days on Restoration Island.
“I live in heaven — why would you leave heaven?” he says. “I’m literally born again by being up here.”
The “Millionaire Castaway” (the title of the book he has written about his life) has had a lot of sadness and conflict in his family, including a child who took her own life several years ago. David misses his family, he says, and hopes to do more traveling in days to come to begin connecting with them again.
Solitude and the challenge of living day to day in these circumstances proved to be David Glasheen’s salvation at a time in his life when he could have easily ended it all.
“I was one of the very, very fortunate people that instead of maybe committing suicide, which a lot of people would have done, I found this place.
“This island has restored me in every which way I can imagine.”
It’s the stuff of dreams, fairy tales, and classic adventure novels. David Glasheen is living it.
May grace and peace be with him.